Cannonball Run 6: Full Throttle
by TimX7
Summary: Cannonballers from the past and new Cannonballers gather for the next Cannonball Run. This time with a four hundred million grand prize. Eveyone would want that amount of cash. Even for their own evil purposes.
1. Oh yeah, they're back Part 1

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Title: Cannonball Run 6: Full Throttle**

**Author: GenerationX7**

**Summary: Cannonballers from the past and new Cannonballers gather for the next Cannonball Run. This time with a four hundred million grand prize. Eveyone would want that amount of cash. Even for their own evil purposes.**

**Author's Note: I'm using the cars from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Saint's Row and Driver: Parallel Lines. I would like to thank Charles Xavier, Turbo Man and BKelly 95 for writing the previous CR fics. You guys were inspirations. **

**Chapter 1: Oh yeah they're back part 1**

Brock Yates stood inside the research station that he had rebuilt last year, Cannonball Base. Beside and behind him is Mr. X, J.J. McClure, Victor Prinsi, Fenderbaum, Blake and the Shiek. Jill, Marcy, Mel and Terry couldn't make it to the location of the Cannonball starting line. They were too busy back at U.N. HQ in New York City to get the papers signed by U.N. Secretary General Nicholae Carpathia. Along with Chun Li and Ken Masters too. Brock stands there as the Cannonball Run banner is being put up by the set up crew.

"We're going with the new computer system?" Brock asked Fenderbaum.

"Yes we are. We've got someone else to keep watch on the Cannonballers." Fenderbuam replied.

"He should be there with his father now." Blake added.

In a large room of the Cannonball Base; Cameron "Cam Watanabe and his father, known in the Wind Ninja Academy as Sensei, are set up for the Cannonball Run. This year they wer able to afford new equipment, that could keep track of the Cannonballers. The Wind Rangers are done putting the boxes of supplies for Sensei and Cam away. Shane, the Red Wind Ranger, wipes the sweat off his forehead. His two friends Waldo "Dustin" Brooks and Tori Hanson follow suit. Then they all get a drink of water from water bottles.

"Whew done." Dustin said. "So we're the only security for the Cannonball Run?"

"No, Brock hired others and included a undercover Cannonballer on one of the teams." Shane replied. "Come on. The Cannonballers will be here any day now. Besides Brock has a press conference in a few minutes. We don't want to be late."

Back with Brock and the others. Brock turns to J.J. and asks "Are you sure you sent the blueprints to the Cannonballers for water or air travel?"

"Yes I did." J.J. said. "If they get here early, then we can help them."

"Good. Good. I hope they can understand there will be no bridges this year. We're trying something different."

**Austin, Texas**

Retired professional wrestler turned mixed martial artist, Amanda Kauffman, walks out of her house. She waves goodbye to her daughter, foster son and girlfriend. She walks down to a Lamborghini Miura with her cousin Heather Burnside, Lara Croft and Natasha Martin inside. Amanda climbs into the driver's seat. She's wearing purple cheetah print jumpsuit. Heather is wearing a black jumpsuit with a silver Japanse dragon on the back, to represent her Ginger Ninja gimmick and the family's ninja clan in Japan. Lara is wearing a aqua jump suit and Natasha is wearing a navy blue jump suit.

"I already showed off my driving getting here." Heather said.

"Let's roll." Amanda said as she started up the car. "What's this car's name anyway?"

"Lara called it the Melizanno." Heather replied.

"I like the sound of that." Amanda put the car into drive and slammed down on the gas pedal.

**Opening Song: "Underclass Hero" by Sum 41**

_Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)_

_Kauffman (original e-fed wrestler by GX7)_

_Heather Burnside (original e-fed wrestler by GX7)_

_Natasha Martin (Redline)_

_Giovanni (Pokemon)_

_Ash Kettchum (Pokemon)_

_Jessie (Pokemon)_

_James (Pokemon)_

_Meowth (Pokemon)_

_Pikachu (Pokemon)_

_Tim Clarks (Cannonball Run 3: The Next Generation by GX7)_

_Ricky Walters (Cannonball Run 3: The Next Generation by GX7)_

_Shayla Walker (Resident Evil Operation Vaccination by GX7)_

_Ginger "Gin" Clarkson (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour)_

**In...**

**CANNONBALL RUN 6: FULL THROTTLE**

The Melizanno goes through the Texas backroads. Not noticing that a police car was sitting nearby. The officer held his radar gun out of his window. The Melizanno speeds past him.

"Gotcha!" he said as he gave chase.

Also starring...

_Jessie James (Monster Garage)_

_Nicholas Cage as Randell "Memphis" Raines (Gone in Sixty Seconds)_

_Vin Diesal as Dominic Toretto (The Fast and the Furious)_

_Lucas Black as Sean Boswell (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift)_

_Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Peter Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Lois Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Meg Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Chris Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Stewie Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Brian (Family Guy)_

The Melizanno continues to lead the squad car through the backroads. The two cars reach several sharp turns. Amanda begins to drift through the turns.

"Where did you learn to drift Amanda?" Lara asked.

"She must have learned from our cousin in Japan." Heather replied. "Our cousin Jade quit pro wrestling to pursue a career in professional drift racing."

"Wow." Joanna said.

_Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)_

_Peter Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Lois Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Meg Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Chris Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Stewie Griffin (Family Guy)_

_Brian (Family Guy)_

_Mario (New Super Mario Brothers)_

_Link (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)_

_Shadow (Shadow the Hedgehog)_

_Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog)_

_Belle Williams (Taxi) _

_Andy Washburn (Taxi)_

_Sarge (Red vs Blue)_

_Simmons (Red vs Blue)_

_Donut (Red vs Blue)_

_Church (Red vs Blue)_

_Tucker (Red vs Blue)_

_Tex (Red vs Blue)_

_Dave (Code Monkeys)_

_Jerry (Code Monkeys)_

_Todd (Code Monkeys)_

_Mary (Code Monkeys)_

_Clare (Code Monkeys)_

_Mr. Larrity (Code Monkeys)_

_Dean (Code Monkeys)_

_Black Steve (Code Monkeys)_

_Clarence (Code Monkeys)_

_Benny (Code Monkeys)_

Then two more police cars arrived and joined in the chase.

"Bloody Hell!" Heather screamed as Amanda sped ahead of the three cars.

_Sam (The Strangerhood)_

_Wade (The Strangerhood)_

_Tovar (The Strangerhood)_

_Griggs (The Strangerhood)_

_Dickie Dutchmiller (The Strangerhood)_

_Catherine (The Strangerhood)_

_Nikki (The Strangerhood)_

_Dr. Chalmers (The Strangerhood)_

_Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Tifa Lockheart (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Tommy Vercetti (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)_

_Carl Johnson (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)_

_Niko Bellic__ (Grand Theft Auto IV)_

_Wu Zi Mu/Woozie (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)_

_Spike Spiegal (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Jett Black (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Ein (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Radical Edward (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Jamie Hyneman (Mythbusters)_

_Adam Savage (Mythbusters)_

_Caboose (Red vs Blue)_

_Sheila (Red vs Blue)_

_Grif (Red vs Blue)_

_O'Malley (Red vs Blue)_

_Earl Hickey (My Name Is Earl)_

_Randy Hickey (My Name Is Earl)_

_Darnell Turner (My Name Is Earl)_

_Bugs Bunny (Looney Toons)_

_Daffy Duck (Looney Toons)_

_Elmer Fudd (Looney Toons)_

_Foghorn Leghorn (Looney Toons)_

_Stan Marsh (South Park)_

_Kyle Browfloski (South Park)_

_Kenny McCormick (South Park)_

_Eric Cartman (South Park)_

_Butters (South Park)_

_Token (South Park)_

_Matt Sutton (South Park fankid created by Kyle Gon Jinn)_

_Nath Richardson (South Park fankid created by Kyle Gon Jinn)_

_Jimbo Kern (South Park)_

_Ned Gerblansky (South Park)_

_Eve (original character by GX7)_

_Adam (original characyer by GX7)_

_Joe Cooper (BASEketball)_

_Doug Remer (BASEketball)_

_Kenny "Squeak" Scolari (BASEketball)_

_Marcus (CR4 by Turbo Man)_

_Regis (CR4 by Turbo Man)_

_Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots)_

_Sam Fisher (Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent)_

_Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible 3)_

_Captain Scott Mitchell (Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter)_

_Robert Freeman (The Boondocks)_

_Riley Freeman (The Boondocks)_

_Huey Freeman (The Boondocks)_

_Ed Wuncler III (The Boondocks)_

_Gin Rummy (The Boondocks)_

_Buckaroo Banzai (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)  
Perfect Tommy (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)  
Sydney "New Jersey" Zweibel (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)_

_Casey Rhodes/Red Ranger (Power Rangers Jungle Fury)_

_Theo Martin/Blue Ranger (Power Rangers Jungle Fury)_

_Lily Chilman/Yellow Ranger (Power Rangers Jungle Fury)_

_Amy (IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix)_

_Luca (IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix)_

_Takeshi (IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix)_

_Liz Riccaro (IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix)_

_James Sunderland (Silent Hill 2)_

_Heather Morris (Silent Hill 3)_

_Johnny Cage (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Sonya Blade (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Kitana (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Stan Smith (American Dad)_

_Roger (American Dad)_

_Fox Mulder (The X-Files)_

_Agent J (Men in Black)_

_Agent K (Men in Black)_

_Tornado Shanks (Sealab 2021)_

_Sparks (Sealab 2021)_

_Marco (Sealab 2021)_

_Stormy (Sealab 2021)_

_Onaga (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Shao Kahn (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Shang Tsung (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_Quan Chi (Mortal Kombat Deception)_

_C.M. Punk (Extreme ChampionshipWrestling)  
Tommy Dreamer (Extreme ChampionshipWrestling)  
Stevie Richards (Extreme ChampionshipWrestling)  
Kevin Thorn (Extreme ChampionshipWrestling)_

_The Boogeyman (Extreme ChampionshipWrestling)_

_Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Colonel Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Tim Glomb (Viva la Bam)_

_Bam Margera (Viva la Bam)_

_Ryan Dunn (Viva la Bam)_

_Rake Yohn (Viva la Bam)_

_Chris Raab as Raab Himself (Viva la Bam)_

_Brandon DiCamillo (Viva la Bam)_

_Phil Margera (Viva la Bam)_

_Brandon Novak (Viva la Bam)_

_Shinn Asuka (Gundam SEED Destiny)_

_Lunamaria Hawke (Gundam SEED Destiny)_

_Kira Yamato (Gundam SEED Destiny)_

_Athrun Zala (Gundam SEED Destiny)_

_Stone Cold" Steve Austin (World Wrestling Entertainment)_

_Nemesis (Resident Evil 3: Nemesis)_

_John Cena (World Wrestling Entertainment)_

_Tony Francis (original character by GX7 and Turbo Man)_

_Kyle Bennon (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour by GX7)_

_T-Bone (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour by GX7)_

_Lobo "Speedy" Gonzalez (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour by GX7)_

_Andre (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour by GX7)_

_Mini-Me (Austin Powers)_

_Dr. Evil (Austin Powers)_

_Dylan Sanders (Charlie's Angels)_

_Alex Munday (Charlie's Angels)_

_Natalie Cook (Charlie's Angels)_

_Henry Deacon (Eureka)_

_Ricky Bobby (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)_

_Cal Naughton Jr. (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)_

_Randy Datona (Balls of Fury)_

_Tanner (Driver)_

_Ryotaro Nogami/Kamen Rider Den-O (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Momotaros (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Urataros (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Kintaros (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Ryutaros (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider (Ghost Rider)_

_James "Jimmy" Hughes (Yes, dear)_

_Greg Warner (Yes, dear)_

_Sister (Red vs Blue)_

_Doc (Red vs Blue)_

_Andy (Red vs Blue)_

_Junior (Red vs Blue)_

_Eva Wei (Oban Star-Racers)_

_Rick Thunderbolt (Oban Star-Racers)_

_Koji (Oban Star-Racers)_

_Stan (Oban Star-Racers)_

_Master Yo (Ying Yang Yo)_

_Yin (Ying Yang Yo)_

_Yang (Ying Yang Yo)_

_Tobe (Pucca)_

_Jing-Jing (Pucca)_

_Shaman (Pucca)_

_Clown (Pucca)_

_Muji (Pucca)_

_Pucca (Pucca)_

_Garu (Pucca)_

_Abyo (Pucca)_

_Ching (Pucca)_

_Won (Pucca)_

_Mio (Pucca)_

_Liquid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) _

_Harry Mason (Silent Hill) _

_Leon Belmont (Castlevania: Lament of Innocence)_

_Otacon (Metal Gear Solid games)_

_Henry Townsend (Silent Hill 4: The Room)_

_Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Tifa Lockheart (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Sam Winchester (Supernatural)_

_Dean Winchester (Supernatural)_

_Jan Kandou/GekiRed (Juuken Sentai Gekiranger)_

_Ran Uzaki/GekiYellow (Juuken Sentai Gekiranger)_

_Retsu Fukami/GekiBlue (Juuken Sentai Gekiranger)_

_Gou Fukami/GekiViolet (Juuken Sentai Gekiranger)_

_Ken Hisatsu/GekiChopper (Juuken Sentai Gekiranger)_

_Master Chief (Halo 3)_

_Arbiter (Halo 3)_

_Cortana (Halo 3)_

_Harry Potter (Harry Potter movies)_

_Hermione Granger (Harry Potter movies) _

_Ron Weasley (Harry Potter movies)_

_Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)  
George-Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)  
George Oscar "Gob" Bluth (Arrested Development)  
Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)  
narrator (Arrested Development)_

_Jack Carter (Eureka)_

_Zoe Carter (Eureka)_

_Toby Issacs (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Emma Nelson (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Manny Santos (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Sean Cameron (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Ellie Nash (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Ashley Kerwin (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Jay Hogart (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Paige Michalchuk (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Gavin "Spinner" Mason (Degrassi: The Next Generation)_

_Dr. Gregory House (House)_

_Hiro Nakamura (Heroes)_

_Detective Robert Goren (Law & Order: Criminal Intent)_

_Marcus Damon (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Thomas H Norstein (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Yoshino "Yoshi" Fujieda (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Agumon (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Lalamon (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Gaomon (Digimon Data Squad)_

_Tanner (Driver)_

_Lone Wolf (Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive by BKelly95)_

_Dark Samus (Metroid Prime 2: Echoes)_

_Gannondorf (Legend of Zelda games)_

_Meta Knight (Kirby game series)_

_Zant (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)_

The Melizanno finally loses the cop cars by crossing a railroad crosing, before the two barriers come down and a train screeches past the cars. All three cops curse their bad luck.

**Featuring...**

_Mr. Bedlam (Get Ed)_

_Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Demyx (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Luxord (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Xaldin (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Xigbar (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Saix (Kingdom Hearts II)_

_Kadaj (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Yazoo (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Loz (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)_

_Lilth (Original character by GX7) _

_Michel Qissi as Tong Po (Kickboxer)_

_Christopher Walken as Mr. Feng (Balls of Fury)_

_Combine (Half Life 2)_

_Grunts (Red vs Blue)_

_Carmen Sandiego (Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego)_

_Janice K. Foyt (Original character by GX7)_

_Tengas (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie)_

_Danny Cruger (Cannonball Run 3: The Next Generation by GX7)_

_"King" William O'Malley (Cannonball Run 4: UK Tour by GX7)_

_Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)_

_Jason Voorhees (Jason X)_

_Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)_

_The Creeper (Jeepers Creepers)_

_Michael Myers (Halloween: Resurrection)_

_Sylar (Heroes)_

_General Kazim (Sahara)_

_Osama Bin Laden (Postal)_

_Simon Pegg as Sergeant Nicholas Angel (Hot Fuzz)_

_Nick Frost as PC Danny Butterman (Hot Fuzz)_

_Duane "Dog" Chapman (Dog the Bounty Hunter)_

_Leland Chapman (Dog the Bounty Hunter)_

_Tim Chapman (Dog the Bounty Hunter)_

_Justin Bihag (Dog the Bounty Hunter)_

_Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter movies)_

_Vincent Crabbe (Harry Potter movies)_

_Pansy Parkison (Harry Potter movies)_

_Millicent Bulstrode (Harry Potter movies)_

_Yuto Sakurai/Kamen Rider Zeronos (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Deneb (Kamen Rider Den-O)_

_Souji Tendou/Kamen Rider Kabuto (Kamen Rider Kabuto)_

_Shane Clarke/Red Wind Ranger (Power Rangers Ninja Storm)_

_Tori Hanson/Blue Wind Ranger (Power Rangers Ninja Storm)_

_Waldo "Dustin" Brooks/Yellow Wind Ranger (Power Rangers Ninja Storm)_

_Cameron "Cam" Watanabe/Green Samurai Star Ranger and Cyber Cam (Power Rangers Ninja Storm)_

_Lone Wolf (Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive by BKelly95)_

_DVDA_

_Reel Big Fish_

_Cletus T. Judd_

_Weird Al Yankovic_

_16 Buttons of Justice (Waterman)_

_Gorilliaz_

_DMX_

_Queen Latifah_

_Bloodhound Gang_

_JAM Project_

_Dethklok (Metalocalypse)_

_Brock Yates_

_Mr. X (Cannonball Run 3: World Tour by Charles Xavier)_

_J.J McClure (Cannonball Run)_

_Victor Prinsi (Cannonball Run)_

_Jamie Blake (Cannonball Run)_

_Morris Fenderbaum (Cannonball Run)_

_Ed (Get Ed)_

_Burn (Get Ed)_

_Fizz (Get Ed)_

_Deets (Get Ed)_

_Loogie and Dr. Pinch (Get Ed)_

_Ol' Skool (Get Ed)_

_Dracula (Dracula: Dead and Loving It)_

_President Harris (Scary Movie 3)_

_Olivia Munn (Attack of the Show)_

_Kevin Pereira (Attack of the Show)_

_Adam Sessler (X Play)_

_Morgan Webb (X Play)_

_GLaDOs (Portal)_

_Damian Lacedaemion (This Spartan Life)_

_Benjamin Bright (IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix)_

_Grant Imahara (Mythbusters)_

_Tori Belleci (Mythbusters)_

_Keri Byron (Mythbusters)_

_Alison Blake (Eureka)_

_Josefina "Jo" Lupo (Eureka)_

_Charles Foster Ofdensen (Metalocalypse)_

_Don Wei (Oban Star-Racers)_

_Uncle Dumpling (Pucca)_

_Ho (Pucca)_

_Linguini (Pucca)_

_Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)_

_Dirk Pitt (Sahara)_

_Al Giordino (Sahara)_

_Doctor Eva Rojas (Sahara)_

Shayla Walker waited in Cleveland International Airport with two of her fellow teammates in the Cannonball Run. One was Tim Clarks, former convict pardoned by the President of the United States for a case of mistaken identity. After his pardon, he took a undercover assignment with INTERPOL. Ricky Walters, Tim's friend from the national Cannonball Run, stood by Tim. Ricky wore a pair of sunglasses over his eyes.

"Here she comes." Shayla said as she saw a young woman with fiery red hair, glasses and bluish-gray eyes walk off the jetway. Shayla held up a sign with the name Ginger "Gin" Clarkson, which the young woman noticed right away. She also noticed Tim and Ricky.

"Tim! Ricky!" the woman named Gin said in a English accent. "It's so nice to meet you two."

After greeting her two teammates, she turned and hugged Shayla. "You must be Shayla. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to see you Gin." Shayla said. "Let's get your luggage and take you to our car for the Cannonball Run."

The four leave the airport and walk to the parking lot. "So Tim here tells me that you are undercover with Scotland Yard. Something about this drug dealer trying to steal the prize money?"

"Yeah." Ginger showed a picture of the suspect. "His name is William O'Malley. He has earned the title King because of his successful drug empire. What he wants with the prize money, when he has all of the money from his drug operation, is beyond me."

Shayla led the three outside to the parking lot,

"Well here is our car." Shayla pointed to a navy blue Ford Explorer. "It's called the Landstalker Mark II. Since my foster brother was able to find the Landstalker from last year and remodel it for us."

"Enough talk about the car." Gin said when she closed the trunk. "Let's get going."

**Red Base, Blood Gulch**

On this alien planet in this box cannon, there are to rival bases. Red and Blue base. Over at Red Base, the leader of the Blood Gulch Red Team walks out of the base.

"Grif!" cried Sarge with his Southern U.S. accent. "I don't hear any buffering! I love the sound of buffering. Get over here and start buffering the Warthog for the Cannonball Run on Earth."

Sarge has on red full body armor, including helmet. He looks like a Spartan from the game Halo 2.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Grif, wearing orange armor, walks up to Sarge. Grif is always being picked on and threatened by Sarge. Poor Grif, Sarge just doesn't like him at all. For example both teams make Public Service Announcments for the people of Earth. In one PSA, they talked about the concerning oil crisis. Unfortunately for Grif, Sarge had to say that any living thing can become gas. So Sarge wounded Grif and buried him alive. Only Grif's arm was sticking out of the ground.

"So Sarge, can you hardly wait for the Cannonball Run to start?" Grif asked.

"I can hardly wait. Now get buffing soldier!"

Meanwhile Donut and Simmons, Simmons has maroon armor and Donut has pink, were watching the Blue Base from the canyon walls using their sniper rifles.

"What are they doing?" Donut asked.

"It looks like they've got a jeep of their own and their tank." Simmons replied.

At the Blue Base self appointed leader and one of only two soldiers who is possessing a robotic body because they're dead, Church, is about ready to address his fellow teammates.

There is Tex, a former Special Ops gone freelance with her Special Ops black armor. Tex used to have a voice disrupter to make her seem like a guy. She also carried the AI O'Malley aka Omega for a while until she was killed and he escaped to Caboose. This in turn started a truce between the two teams. O'Malley moved to the pacifist Doc and then changed to another host, a ship called in for the Red Team. O'Malley's whereabouts are currently unknown. Doc moved back into O'Malley's old lair to turn it into a doctors office. Not a really good idea concidering that Doc failed out of med school. Doc even made the diagnosis that Tucker was pregnant. Something Church failed to believe until he actually saw the thing. Tex is also Church's ex girlfriend. She killed Church's squad on the planet Sidewinder and left him alive as the only survivor. She killed Church's buddy Private Jimmy by ripping his skull clean out of his head and beat him to death with it. Jimmy's last words were "This doesn't seem physically possible!" Her extremely violent behavior and ability to kill a whole unit of soldiers by herself has gave her the title of "Most Violent Person in Blood Gulch". A name she honors with pride.

Tucker is wearing aqua armor. He is second in command of the Blue Team on Blood Gulch. He recently went on a journey with a Convenant Elite alien that was named Fluffy by someone else on the Blue Team. He couldn't remember who named it that frankly. Tucker was later impregnated by Fluffy, via parasitic embryos, and didn't know it. When he found out he denied with "It's not mine!" Unfortunately he gave birth to the alien's baby and it was named Fluffy Jr. Fluffy Jr. is aqua like Tucker with a few bits of blue like Fluffy.

Caboose has the standard Blue armor. He is the dumbest one of the whole group. He joined the military because he thought the recruiting office was for registering for college. Then he thought boot camp was a fraternity initiation. In other words Caboose is retarded. He is the one that kills Church with their own tank. He tried to get the tank's AI, Sheila, to unlock Church as a target. Only it was too late.

After that incident Church was given a robotic body. Along with Tex after she was killed by Donut and a plasma grenade. Now Church is ready to address his team. Tex and Tucker are facing him, Caboose is facing the opposite direction.

"I'm hoping I can motivate you retards to win the Cannonball Run." Church started off his speech.

"I can hear Church, but I can't see Church." Caboose said.

"Caboose...turn around." Caboose did so.

"Oh there you are. I missed you good buddy!"

Church just groans and continues.

"Okay men. The vehicles are ready." Sarge said. "Now that we've settled on the name Warthog..."

"What name?" Grif asked. "You just said we're naming it the Chupathingy and that was it."

"Anyway, our second vehicle over here is called the M274 ULATV Mongoose or Mongoose for short." Sarge pointed to a ATV.

"Grif you get this ATV over here with a AI built in."

"What?" Grif asked. "Why do I get to go solo?"

"Well we all agreed that both Reds and Blues will enter two teams. To improve our chances of winning. We each get a Warthog and a vehicle of our choosing. Since the Blues chose their tank with the AI in it. I called up Red Command and got us this hovercraft called the Ghost with a AI that sounds like a blonde teenager with a valley accent. Now Grif, I'm going to let you live and not threaten your life because we need you to help us beat those damn Blues. Can I count on you to pilot the Ghost to victory?"

"You can count on me Sarge." Grif said. The Grif walks over to the Mongoose. "AI speak."

There was a few tense seconds until the AI did speak and it wasn't in a blonde valley accented voice either. It was in a mad scientist voice. "Hello fools! I'm back! BWAHAHAHA!"

"What the...?" Sarge was surprised to hear the voice of both teams arch rival, O'Malley. "O'Malley? How did you get in there?"

"I was uploaded into this ATV by Red Command." O'Malley replied. "Were you expecting something else?"

Sarge was about to call Red Command and then realized O'Malley would more than likely leave the Mongoose if he did so. He turns his attention back to the Mongoose.

"Go ahead. Red Command made sure I can no longer change hosts via radio anymore. I'm offically stuck in here."

Sarge contacted Red Command. "Vic, why the hell is O'Malley in our Mongoose? I wanted my teenage blonde AI!"

"Oh that." Vic, Red and Blue Command's main contact. Both teams, besides Tucker and O'Malley, don't know that Red and Blue Command are one and the same. Thus making the civil war between both teams pointless. Though neither side really knows that. "Well we're out of blonde teenager valley accent girl voice AI. We had O'Malley downloaded into one of our harddrives and we decided to upload him into your vehicle. Sorry man, but thems the breaks."

Sarge became furious. "Son of a bitch! Well O'Malley. You'll have to do. Are you ready for the Cannonball Run?"

"What the hell is the Cannonball Run?" O'Malley asked.

"Simmons!"

"The Cannonball Run is a race that takes the racer or Cannonballer all over the Earth. Over all seven continents. There is even a huge cash prize for the winner. It's four hundred million dollars this year. With three hundred and fifty hundred million for second place and three hundred million for third." Simmons said.

"With that money I can fund my plans to take over the universe." O'Malley accidently said aloud. "I'll join you on your team in the Cannonball Run."

"Without killing Grif?"

"Of course! Do I get a share of the prize money when we win?"

"I'll do you one better. You can have Grif's share."

"WHAT?"

"Grif, you're not going to live to see the end of this war, because I'll kill you in your sleep! So that's why O'Malley's getting your share. Plus we have more of a reason to defeat him."

"Oh very funny." O'Malley said.

"Alright, but if he tries to kill me on purpose during the Cannonball. I'm taking his share to pay for any medical bills that I have."

"Now that's over with. We can go to the Cannonball starting line." Sarge said. "Onward to victory!"

The Blues have gotten onto their vehicles and were driving past the Red Base to the transport ship. Church cries out from the gunner seat of their vehicle, a Gauss Warthog, named the Puma. "See you at the starting line Reds!"

"This is going to be exciting, ain't it Sheila?" Caboose said from their M808B Main Battle Tank named the Scorpion.

"I'm sure it will be." Sheila, the tank's AI replied as Caboose drove the Scorpion to the Blues transport ship.

"Let's chase after them men!" Sarge got into the passenger's seat of the Sabretooth with Simmons driving and Donut manning the gatling gun. Grif hoped onto the Ghost and the Reds chased after the Blues.

Meanwhile in a cave in the walls of Blood Gulch...

"I can't believe they forgot about us." Sister from the Blue Team said. Sister is Grif's color blind and stereotypical blonde sister. Her yellow armor just gives away her hair color, more than her personality does. Doc, the pacifist field medic for both teams works on their vehicle. Which is a strange alien cargo vehicle and a trailer with a rapid fire plasma cannon on the cannon. Doc is hoping his adjustments to the vehicle can make it go faster than when Caboose and Tucker first found it. Joining the two is talking, foul mouthed and rude bomb Andy. Andy was made by Tex to destroy her A.I. O'Malley if he ever escaped and tried to take over the universe. Also with them is Tucker's blood thirsty alien baby, Junior. Junior was born from a alien that uses parastic embryos to breed. Junior was born with cyan and blue armor, the colors of the father and "mother".

"Well the Spectre is ready for the Cannonball." Doc said coming out from inside the Spectre. "I think we should hightail it to the ship before they leave without us.

The Red and Blue teams loaded their vehicles. Then the Spectre arrived and Doc got out.

"Hurry up Doc." Church said. "Once we all get on board, we're out of here."

"Yeah hurry because I want some action." Andy shouted from the inside of the Spectre.

"Okay the boss is coming with us this year. He also said that he was bringing one more along." James of Team Rocket said. He was waiting by their car, a white BMW 535i with the Team Rocket logo, called the Sentinel XS. Pretty soon Giovanni and Pokemon trainer Ash Kettchum arrived. Jessie, James and Meowth were shocked by this recent turn of events..

"What is the meaning of this boss!" Meowth said. "Why is he here!"

"He's the other teammate I said that I was brining along." Giovanni replied. "So you better play nice or I will fire you! We've got a long road ahead of us and I don't want to hear you three bickering."

"We're ready to go Pikachu!"

"Pika!"

**Vice City**

A cab pulled up to the Vercetti Estate. Wu zi Mu aka Woozie and Carl Johnson got out. CJ paid the driver and got their bags out of the trunk. They walked to the door, where Niko Bellic was waiting.

"Hey Tommy!" Niko said. "They're here!"

Tommy Vercetti walks out with his and Niko's bags. The two met their teammates from San Andreas.

"Welcome CJ." Tommy shakes hands with CJ and Woozie. "Nice to meet you too Woozie."

"Well we're ready for the Cannonball Run." Niko said. "The car is over there."

Niko points to a orange Dodge Magnum. "Tommy calls it the Argento."

"That's pretty tight Tommy." CJ said.

"Well shall we get going?" Woozie asked.

In Camden, the television at the local crab shack was turned to a news report on the Cannonball.

"Currently, officials for the Cannonball Run are taking applications." said the reporter. "If you think you'd like to give it try, go to the URL seen here."

Darnell Turner, the proprietor of the crab shack, watched the television. Just then, two of his regulars, brothers Earl and Randy Hickey, walked in cheering.

"Hey, Earl!" called Darnell.

"Hey, crabman!" called Earl.

"What are you guys so excited about?" asked Darnell.

"We just crossed something else off the list." said Randy.

"Yup, right here." said Earl as he showed Darnell his karma list. He had written down everything bad he'd ever done and was now trying to make up for them to earn better karma. "Number 233: 'painted grafitti on a convenience store'."

"Sounds like a big task." said Darnell. He looked up at the television and said "Can you believe they're running the Cannonball again? Man, I wish I could enter that."

"Sometimes, karma hits you with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer." thought Earl.

(flashback)

"A few years ago, I asked Darnell for help with Randy." narrated Earl.

Earl ran into the crab shack and said to Darnell "Randy got arrested for speeding over in Gibson. I have to go get him, but he had the El Camino and it's impounded."

"Say no more. Say no more." said Darnell as he took the keys to his Subaru Brat out of his pocket and handed them to Earl. "I'll let you borrow the Subaru, but make sure you return it by the day after tomorrow. I entered it in the Camden County Annual Road Rally."

"Thanks, crabman." said Earl. "I owe you one."

"Make sure you gas it up, too." said Darnell.

"So, I went and got Randy and returned the Subaru to Darnell." narrated Earl.

Earl and Randy pulled into the rally staging area in Darnell's American Flag painted Subaru. He got out and handed the keys back to him.

"Thanks, Darnell." said Earl. "Go out there and give them one for us."

"No problem." said Darnell as he climbed into the Subaru himself. A few minutes later, he started the rally.

"And so, Darnell ran the rally fast and proud..." narrated Earl.

"Boy, Darnell's got quite a distance to drive." said Randy. "I hope he's got enough gas."

"...for about a minute." narrated Earl.

About a mile down the road, Darnell pulled to the side as the Subaru's malnourished engine sputtered and quit. He rested his head on the steering wheel and groaned.

"Luckily, Darnell's not just the crabman, he's a forgiving man." narrated Earl. "But there's someone else who can't forgive me: karma. The result? Number 124 on my list: 'cost Darnell a road rally'."

(end flashback)

"Well, Darnell. Today is your lucky day." said Earl. "You see, you're on my list."

"Thanks, Earl." said Darnell. "I appreciate the gesture, but the Subaru's in no condition for a worldwide auto race."

"No problem." said Earl. "I've got a suitable vehicle."

"But, Earl, however bad the Subaru is, the El Camino's gotta be worse." said Randy.

"Wasn't talking about the El Camino. Come on." said Earl.

Minutes later, they had gone to Earl's and Randy's father's house and opened the garage door. Inside was a blue '67 Ford Mustang.

"Whoa, that is nice." said Darnell.

"Thanks." said Earl. "My dad bought it for me when I was a kid. That same year, I lost it in a street race. I, uh, couldn't reach the pedals. But I won her back and me and dad fixed her up. I just knew that karma gave her back for a reason. Well, let's go."

"Wait, shouldn't we come up with a cool name for it?" asked Darnell.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." said Earl. "Maybe something of a horse theme, like 'Stallion', or 'Clydesdale', or 'Warhorse'."

"How about Thoroughbred?" asked Randy.

"Yeah, I like that." said Darnell.

"Alright. To the Thoroughbred." said Earl.

Xemnas, Saix and Xaldin sit at Tong Po's mansion in Columbia. The dishonored Muay Thai master and former champion moved to Columbia from Mexico in 1994. After his failed death tournament. The tournament that ended the lives of ten martial artist. That's a estimated guess though. Now Tong Po held another tournament that ended in a battle royal to the death. Whoever was the last person still alive after the carnage, received a million dollars. Xaldin and Saix had the displeasure of determining who was still alive and dead.

"Your reputation perceives you Tong Po." Xemnas, the leader of Organization XIII, said as he put butter on a dinner roll. "You've been able to escape the DEA in 1994 and now you've held a second tournament that is much more successful this time."

"I try to stay one step ahead of the United States law." Tong Po said. "As for the tournament. These gladiators as you'd call them are a bit greedy. They all want a million dollars. So I had them kill each other. Then I killed the last one standing. So I wouldn't lose a million dollars."

"Speaking of the last man standing." Xaldin said from the blood covered mat. "We've got a live one here. It's a blonde haired female in her mid twenties. She's wearing a white gi with a yellow belt. How someone so inexperienced could survive against these martial arts masters is beyond me."

"Let alone get into the tournament in the first place." Saix added.

"Do you want to finish her off?"

Tong Po was about ready to say kill her, but Xemnas stopped him.

"You know. I know a way to get back that million if you ever have to give it away."

"You do?" Tong Po seemed interested. "How?"

"First give the survivor the money, have her taken to a hospital and I'll explain it to you."

"Deal!" Then Tong Po turned to the two men. "Let her live and take her to the closest hospital. I'll be by later to give her the prize money for winning the tournament. This better be worth it Xemnas."

"Believe me it is worth it." Xemnas said with a smile. "Have you heard of the Cannonball Run?"

"That international race that is held every year? Yeah I've heard of it. Wasn't once a cross country coast to coast trophy dash in the 80s?"

"Precisely. Only in '87 it was made into the first ever world tour. It wasn't revived until five years ago." Xemnas takes a bite out of his steak. "Good steak bye the way."

"Thank you. The chef here is one of the best in Columbia." Tong Po said. "So you want me to enter the Cannonball Run and win the prize money?"

"No, we need your help to steal it. Sure in the past there were a few that have tried and failed to steal the money. But this year, I do believe my boss has the perfect plan."

"Your boss?"

"You'll meet him soon enough Mr. Tong Po. You'll meet him soon enough." Xemnas smiled and took a sip of his wine.

"I can't believe you accepted Vince's proposal without my persmission. I'm not mad at you Nemesis. Well okay I was mad at you when you told me about it, but I've calmed down a bit." Austin said.

"Stars!" Nemesis said.

"Well let's see what we got here." Austin looked over at their vehicle. It is a Chevy S-10 Blazer painted black with the Stone Cold skulls on the doors. "What is this thing named again?"

"Stttaaaarrrssss!"

"The Olympic? Sounds like a good name. Good job there Nemesis."

Nemesis smiled as their teammates walked into the warehouse where the vehicle was being worked on. Vince McMahon sent John Cena and Stone Cold called up pro skateboarder Tony Francis.

"You've GOT to be kidding me!" Austin said. "Vince sent me this loser!"

"I'm not a loser." John Cena got up close to Austin's face. "I'm the the champ!"

"You're going to be a dead man if you get in my face like that one more time." Cena

immediately backed down. "That much better. Oh and welcome Tony."

"Thanks Steve. If I may call you that." Tony Francis said

"Well at least we have only one loser." Austin said to Nemesis. "Okay introduction time. This is the Olympic, this is your teammate Nemesis and you already know who I am. So if you don't like any of us or the vehicle, I'll open a can of whoop ass on ya. Do you understand?"

Cena and Tony were speechless.

"That's what I thought. Now we need to install the weapons into this thing. Help out will you?"

Jerry, a game programmer for the video game company Gameavision, walks up to his best friend Dave.

"Where have you been?" Jerry asked.

Dave replied with "I just took a deuce in the brownie bowl. That means I just took a dump into the brownie bowl"

"Dave shut up." Jerry was trying to get his friend to stop telling about his recent prank.

"Then I wiped my ass with the brownies."

"Shut up."

"Which is great because my poop is brown and the brownies are brown. So no one is going to notice."

"Dave turn around." Jerry told him and Dave turned around.

"Oh man..." Dave saw his fellow co-workers and boss behind with disgusted looks on their faces.

"Gosh darnit!" Larrity, a oil tycoon from Texas and CEO of Gameavision said. "This is the second time I've eaten shit this week!"

**Sometime later...**

Everyone met after the brownie bowl incident and has calmed down a bit. They all meet in the conference room. Larrity stands up and addresses his employees.

"Last year a Cannonball Run game was made." Larrity said.

"Yeah that games sucks ass!" Dave said.

"Precisly Dave! That's why we're going to enter the Cannonball Run and make a better Cannonball Run game than those darn brothers that made that crap video game."

"Just how bad was the other Cannonball Run game?" Jerry asked.

"Well..." Larrity started to remember the reports he read on the game. Here are the reports in a flashback.

**flashback**

"This game sucks!" said one kid playing the game.

At a children's hospital, a kid dying of cancer sits in his bed and plays the game.

"This game gave me even more cancer!" the kid said before dying of the extra cancer he received.

Another kid is cursing God for the bad video game.

"You got my parents divorced! You took my baby sister away and all I wanted was this game to kick ass!"

Pretty soon a angry mob goes to company that made the game, Bellecovision. Then burned it to the ground.

**end flashback**

"Well anyway be here in about a week. Dean and I have to pick out the vehicle and get it ready for the Cannonball Run. There will be no bridges this year. So we have to use one of these blueprints to build a gadget to cross the oceans."

**One week later...**

Clarence, Black Steve, Mary, Clare, Benny, Todd, Dave and Jerry met outside the GameAvision building. A public bus pulled up and opened it's door. Dean was driving it.

"Alright losers! Get inside so we go." Dean said.

"A bus?" Mary said. "We're driving a bus in the Cannonball Run?"

"Yep! I call it the Coach." Larrity replied. "We found it in a junkyard. It was recently retired because of the new buses out there. So what do you think? She's got weapons and a submarine mode to cross the oceans. Along with a boat mode for shallow water. Now get aboard everyone. Coffee and donuts are in the back."

Once everyone was aboard, the Coach left for the South Pole.

"I can't believe the car broke down!" Marcus said as his brother Regis and him walked down the road in Mexico. They were on their way to the Cannonball Run, but their car broke down. Now they're trying to find a ride to the border. Eventually they saw a car in the distance. Both thought the heat was getting to them, but the car stopped by them and a man dressed as Baseketball player rolled down the window to a Rolls Royce Silver Wraith. It was Baseketball Player Joe Cooper.

"Need a lift?" he asked.

"Yeah we're entering the Cannonball Run but the car we 'barrowed' broke down." Marcus said.

"We'll we're entering the Cannonball Run too. So we'll be happy to let you join our team." Joe know the two men. "Didn't you guys enter the Cannonball for two years?"

"Yeah why?" Regis said.

"Well it'll be great to have two experienced Cannonballers such as yourselves join our team. Get in the back with Squeak." Regis and Marcus climbed in and sat in between Kenny "Squeak" Scolari. Joe was driving and Doug Remer was being navigator. "Antarctica here we come."

"What is this car called anyway?" Marcus asked.

"We call it the Baron." Doug said.

_"While waiting for Gob and the start of the Cannonball, George-Michael went into his father's office to find the road atlas he thought they'd need. He ended up discovering a new level to his cousin Maeby's dark side."_

"What are you doing on my dad's computer?" asked George-Michael.

"Check this out." said Maeby. She directed George-Michael to read the online text. "Does this seem sexually explicit to you?"

_"It did. In fact, it was the most shockingly sexually explicit thing George-Michael had ever read."_

"What are you doing?" exclaimed George-Michael. "Who are you sending this to?"

"Gob." said Maeby.

"You're sending this to Gob?" asked George-Michael.

"Don't be so shocked." said Maeby. "It's not like this is the first one."

"How long have you been doing this?" asked George-Michael.

"I dunno." said Maeby. "How long has your dad had this e-mail address?"

_"Not wanting to hear anymore, George-Michael grabbed the atlas and left. Outside, his father Michael was waiting for him as well as his brother Gob."_

"Hey, dad." said George-Michael. "Uncle Gob's still not here?"

"No." said Michael. "If he entered the Cannonball without us, I'm reporting him to the Magician's Alliance."

_"It was around that time that Gob finally showed up. He was driving what used to be an equipment van for Bluth Construction and was now converted into a seventies-style custom van. Gob, of course, called it the Rumpo."_

Gob parked the van and climbed out.

"You know, we were getting concerned you weren't going to show up." said Michael.

"Sorry, I had an errand to run." said Gob. "But enough talk, let's go."

Gob climbed back into the driver's seat, Michael took shotgun, and George-Michael climbed in back.

"Uncle Gob, is that a hot tub?" asked George-Michael.

"Yeah, they had to put in airbag suspension to support the weight, but it was worth it." said Gob.

A light moan was heard from the tub.

"What was that?" asked Michael.

"Yeah, there's something wrong with the pump." said Gob. "I'd suggest not using the tub until I can fix it."

_"And with that, the Bluth family went off to write themselves into Cannonball history, one way or another."_

**Author's Note: This takes place before Beverly Barlowe's return to Eureka in Season 2.**

In the top secret town of Eureka, Sheriff Jack Carter drove into the Sheriff department's parking lot after his daily patrol. The town of Eureka was helped created by Albert Einstein and built for the greatest minds in the United States. This town is so secret that it technically doesn't exsist. Here scientists can work on their scientific breakthroughs without harassment. Jack was a former U.S Marshal. Until his daughter commited a crime and eventually made Jack move to the town. He walks in to see U.S. State Depertment agent Alison Blake. Who stood there with her arms folded. Alison is in charge of Eureka and is the one to go to when something goes horribly wrong. This eventually leads to Jack helping out to save the town from interns that can run at 500MPH or a doomsday laser that is aimed at mirrors on the Moon.

"Let me guess." Jack said. "Someone activated another doomsday weapon and you want me to knock it off course with my jeep."

"Not this time." Alison said. "I've got something else to discuss with you. Inside now."

Jack followed inside and saw his deputy Jo, jack of all trades Henry and his daughter.

"Don't tell me..." Jack pointed at his daughter Zoe. Feared she committed another crime.

"Nope." Alison said. "I've called you all here to recruit this man..."

Alison showed them a picture of Buckaroo Banzai. "He's Buckaroo Banzai. He's a brainsurgen, a rock star and a famous scientist. We've been wanting him to move to Eureka for years."

"Why all of us?" Jo said.

"Every year he runs in a international race called..."

"The Cannonball Run." Henry interrupts. "Alison wants three of us to enter the Cannonball Run and to get Dr. Banzai to move his facility to Eureka. So his research is safe and nobody can steal his work." 

"So who is it going to be?" Alison asked.

"Jo needs to stay here." Jack said. "I'll do it and I'm taking Zoe with me." 

"What!" Zoe shouted.

"Well I've set up our vehicle." Henry said. "So you need me in case everything goes wrong."

"Well it's decided." Alison turned to Henry. "Show them."

Henry lead Zoe and Jack outside to a white Mazda RX-7. "I call her the MX2000."

"Interesting but what can she do?" Jack asked.

"Everything a sports car can do and much better." Henry showed them a invention inside the MX2000. "This here is one of Dr. Banzai's experiments. He used it in a couple of Cannonball Runs. It's called the Hyperthruster. It slows down time for the vehicle, while time flows normally for everyone else. So we'll be sure to catch up to anybody with this baby."

"Let me guess. You stole the blueprints to his Hyperthruster thingy." Zoe said.

"Actually he already patented it." Henry replied. "So I found the blueprints in the patent office. Luckily the government helped get those plans. Well enough talking. We should get ready and go."

Nearing the bridge to Antartica is a Kawasaki motorcycle called the Mitsumi 1000R. It's driver is a young Japanese man with very bad luck, named Ryotaro Nogami. He has four humanoid monsters named Imagin to help him when he needs the help. The Imagin also gives Ryotaro different abilities when he transforms into Kamen Rider Den-O. Currently he's posessed by the Imagin Momotaros, a red Japanese ogre Imagin with a temper.

"(Let me just say, I start on and end on a climax!)" Momotaros shouted while driving the Mitsumi 1000R to the starting line.

"(Are we all ready to go?)" asked Ken Hisatsu aka GekiChopper of the Geki Rangers. THe Geki Rangers were loading their luggage into a white Ford E-250 series van. On the side of teh van is the SCRTC logo. On the hood of the van is Ken's special SCRTC logo. Which is three claw marks and a rhino horn in front of the claw marks.

"(Just as soon as Jan gets his stuff out here.)" said Ran Usaki aka GekiYellow.

Gou Fukami aka GekiViolet tapped his forehead with his right fist. "(Man, Jan will take forever.)"

Gou's brother, Retsu aka GekiBlue, looks in their headquarters and shouts "(Jan! We're ready to go!)"

"(Just a minute!)" Jan walks out with his luggage and he places that into the van. "(I'm driving by the way.)"

Jan climbs into the van and starts the NRG V8 up and once everyone climbs in Jan slams his foot down and leaves the SCRTC building. Even though Jan was raised by tigers and is learning how to do things the human way. He actually learned how to drive. Thanks to Master Shafu, taking him to the local arcade, to practice on the racing games. As Master Shafu said to Jan "There is much training in playing video games."

Hiro Nakamura is one of the Heroes, a group of people who have special powers. His ability is to control space and time. He can teleport to different locations, stop time and travel through time. He carries a katana with him as a weapon. Well Hiro used his teleportation ability to land in the back seat of a gunmetal grey Cadillac DeVille. He looks around to get a idea of where he ended up.

"Who are you and where did you come from?" Hiro looks up at the passenger's seat to see Detective Robert Goren of the NYPD.

Hiro was about to answer when Goren's Cannonball partner Dr. Gregory House, gets in with three cups of coffee from Starbucks. Goren had to open the door for House, as House is a cripple and is carrying his cane.

"Ah you finally made it Hiro." House said. "I take it you used your powers to get here."

"(Yeah but I must've scared this guy here.)" Hiro said in Japanese.

"Don't mind Goren here. He's just a hardass detective with the NYPD Major Case Squad." House hands Hiro and Monk their coffees and put his in a cup holder. "How do you like our car? Goren and I agreed on the name Elegant. He even got it for us from the inpound, after it's original driver was arrested for drug running. This car was actually a part of his collection of cars."

Goren turned back around. "The guy is named Danny "Fast and the Furious Cruger."

"(Nice car but did you have to use Cruger's car?)" Hiro said.

"You heard of Cruger?"

"(Who hasn't?) Hiro said. "(Everyone has heard of the guy that was arrested by a falsely convicted American man. It made headlines all over the world.)"

Belle Williams was sitting in the passenger seat of a Honda Civi hatchback, called the Miyagi. Next to her is Andy Washburn, this year's Captain Chaos. The mask is giving him the ability to drive correctly. The Miyagi continues it's trek to the South Pole.

Randy Daytona looks into his bag and pulls out a fiery red and black mask. There was a F on it in a flame text. This mask was given to him by Victor Prinsi, the original Captain Chaos. This mask was a new mask, besides the Captain Chaos mask. He could remember what Victor told him when he was handed the mask.

_"I found two other masks in my attic, inside the chest that held the Captain Chaos mask when I received it. It's chosen you Randy. You're the first ever Captain Fury. The other mask was stolen from me by your father's murderer, Mr. Feng. Mr. Feng has the Total Anarchy mask now and you can't beat him alone. You must work with Captain Chaos to beat him. I know you saw him get electricuted a Central American river, but with the power of Total Anarchy. He survived and is now working for whoever is trying to steal the money this year. Take care of this mask Randy. For the good of the Cannonball Run."_

Randy smiled but quickly put the Captain Fury mask back into his bag. As a white Chevy Chevelle with the drawing of a couger was on the hood. The passenger window rolled down to reveal NASCAR racer Ricky Bobby. Driving was his friend Cal Naughton Jr.

"Ready for the Cannonball Randy?" Ricky said. "Get in."

Randy got into the back and put his duffel bag beside him. The Chevelle then sped off to the Cannonball run ferry.

"What is the name of this car?" Randy asked.

"Ricky here named it the Bootlegger." Cal said in reply.

**Author's Comment: Well here is the first chapter of CR8. Now I've got to say that even though I'm using the Tong Po from the first Kickboxer movie. I'm basing it all off of the fourth and probably a love it or hate it sequel. Hence the whole drug lord and gladiatorial tournament thing. Because Tong Po was last scene running like a little girl out of his compound in the end of the fourth Kickboxer movie. After his fight to the death tournament failed. So that explains a lot. As for the Illuminati, I've always wanted a secret society, especially a real life secret society, to try their luck at stealing the money. Now it's my chance to do that. I'm a huge conspiracy theorist, so I'm a bit paranoid to think the world is being run by a secret society that wants to take over the world. Well next chapter is the rest of the teams. So please read and leave a nice review with some critism.**


	2. Oh yeah, they're back Part 2

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Chapter 2: Oh yeah they're back part 2**

**Author's Note: Chapter two is done and dusted. Just so you know, the Roar Horn is the exact same thing as the Roar special in the game Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition.**

Dominic Toretto, Jesse James and Randell "Memphis" Raines met in a warehouse; where they were working on their entry for the Cannonball Run, a hot rod called the Hot Rod.

"So this the Hot Rod huh?" Dominic asked Jesse.

"Yep, I think we have a better chance of winning this year." Jesse said. Soon a young man walked inside and up to Dominic.

"Oh great you're here." Dominic introduces the man to the rest of the team. "Guys this is the guy that beat me in the drift race in Tokyo. His name is Sean Boswell."

"Nice to meet you Sean." Jesse said. "I'm Jesse James and this is Memphis."

"Well it's great to be here." Sean said. "I may be a rookie but I will surely lead this team to victory."

"Great to hear it Sean." Memphis said.

"Okay thanks." Emma Nelson hangs up her cellphone and looks at her Degrassi classmates. "That was Brock Yates and he just said that someone just registered the name Camper into the Cannonball. So he suggested that we call it the Camper B, as he is going to tell the other team to call theirs the Camper A."

The Degrassi's Cannonball Run entry is a Volkswagon Microbus painted in Degrassi's school colors, blue and gold.

"Well Camper B it is." Sean Cameron said.

Jimbo Kern and his war buddy Ned Gerblansky, drove a city bus that was retired for a new one, to South Park Elementary. Where Jimbo's nephew, Stan Marsh, and his friends are waiting. There was Kyle Browfloski, Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman, Butters, and Token. All waiting for the vehicle to stop. Once it did, Jimbo opened up the doors and the kids got inside.

"Well Stanly, what do you think?" Jimbo asked. "The mayor gave us this retired bus and she called it the Cheetah 2."

"Why the Cheetah 2?" Kyle asked.

"Because a couple of years ago, there was a vehicle named the Cheetah in the Cannonball Run." Ned replied.

"Oh..."

The Simpsons family drove a purple with gold trim '69 Mercury Marauder, called the Vegas. They were waiting for the traffic light to turn green, so they head to the starting line. Pretty soon a mailtruck with the name Griffin Mobile spray painted on the sides and back, stops behind them.

Inside the mailtruck, called the Newman...

"A old postal truck!" Lois Griffin said. "How in the world did you get this kind of truck?"

"I bought it at the police auction the guys and I went too." Peter said. "It wasn't getting any bids for fifty dollars. So I got it for sixty."

"Alright Peter. I hope you can handle this Cannonball Run. It seems dangerous, even for Stewie."

"I say..." Stewie Griffin said from his car seat in the back. "I can handle anything this Cannonball Run throws at me!"

The light turned green and the two families drove to the ferry that would take them to the South Pole.

"So we team up at last." Sonic the Hedghog said in the garage of the Nintendo building. He's standing there with Link and Shadow the Hedgehog at his side.

"So it seems." Mario said. "Link has out done himself again."

Mario and Sonic look over at the '55 Chevy Bel Air painted cyan blue with white.

"He calls it the Grand Valley."

"Good name. Different from other Cannonball names in the past." Sonic said.

"Zelda! Zelda you whore!" Link shouts as he holds a bottle of moonshine in his hands.

"What's wrong with him?" Shadow asks.

"He caught Princess Zelda in bed with Gannondorf and he's turned to alcohol to get rid of the pain." Mario replied.

"Oh..."

Meanwhile in Nintendo's personal theater, which is used to show trailers and the video games for testing, man this company sure treats it's game testers well. Dark Samus, Zant, Gannondorf and Meta Knight; sit down and await the announcement they have been waiting for, since they were told to meet in theater. Suddenly a picture of Team Warioware of last year's Cannonball Run was shown on the screen.

"I'm pretty sure you know these guys?" said Shigeru Miyamoto over a PA system.

Gannondorf spoke up, "It's those losers from last year's Cannonball Run! Team Warioware!"

"Correct Gannondorf. That team dishonored Nintendo by cheating. Not only that, but they were banned for life! This is why I called you four here! It's because you four are the only Nintendo villians left to regain that lost honor!"

"You want us to enter the Cannonball Run and restore honor to the Nintendo bad guys?" Dark Samus asked. "No problem, we can do that."

"Good! Now here is your vehicle!" Miyamoto changed the picture of Team Warioware to a picture of a maroon Chevy HHR. "It's called the Keystone. It shall help you win the prize money. If you win the money, it will all go to my charity, the Kaiju Victims Foundation. It's a charity group that raises money for the victims of monster, mecha and Ultraman battles in Japan. This includes mobile suits, Super Sentai robots and even Gozilla. Now get going! You have to get to the South Pole to register for the race! And don't cheat like Team Warioware!"

"WE WON'T!" The four say in unison.

"Well..." Sam said as he hung up his cellphone. "That was Mr. Yates. He says we have to call our vehicle Camper A. Since there will be two Campers in the Cannonball Run."

"That won't be so bad." Dr. Chalmers said. "We can do that."

"Yeah man." Wade said. "We have to do it."

"Cannonball Run here we come!" Griggs said.

Cloud Strife was driving a navy blue Ford F-150 pickup truck with extended cab. Beside him is Barret Wallace, checking his gun arm. In the cab is Yuffie Kisaragi and Tifa Lockheart. In the truck bed is Vincent Valentine.

"Now don't crash the Boltus, Spiky!" Barret said. Cloud nods and continues driving.

Adam, Shayla Walker's foster brother, checks the oil on his Cannonball Run entry. A Vauxhall VX220 Turbo called the Vertigo, with gold trim and red color shift paint.

"Is the oil level okay?" asked Eve, Adam's new friend and fellow D-Virus host. Adam has the Pyro D-Virus and Eve has the Cryo D-Virus. Both are polar opposites as far as powers are concerned. So they're entering the Cannonball, since Adam's sister formed her own team. You can say that Adam is a bit overprotective of his foster sister. Even though she's now eighteen years old.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Adam said placing the oil stick back into the engine and closing the hood. He wipes his hands off a white hand towel. "All we have to do is get to the South Pole."

"I can't believe you got this AND entered us in the Cannonball Run!" Riley Freeman said, as he looked at the vehicle Gin Rummy and Ed Wuncler III remodeled for the Cannonball. It is a '55 Kaiser Manhatten, named the Glendale. Huey and Robert Freeman were surprised as well.

"Yeah isn't it great!" Ed said. "We better get a f-ing move on! There is a race to win!"

Solid Snake and Ethan Hunt waited by their vehicle for this year's Cannonball Run. A 2002 Mercury Cougar called the Fairview.

"Two more minutes." Ethan said. Snake sighed. Just then two more men walked up to the Fairview. It was Ghost Recon's Captain Scott Mitchell and Third Echilon's Sam Fisher.

"You're late!" Snake said.

"Traffic was a bitch." Sam said. "So is everything ready?"

"Yeah... Just need us to get into the Fairview and we can get to the ferry."

Spike, Jet and Radical Edward were inside a custom Lexus GS430; eating fast food. Even the dog Ein is eating a plain hamburger. Jet hands his bounty hunting partner a file.

"This is the person we're hunting next." Jet said. "She was broken out of a women's correctional facility. Every bounty hunter is after her. Including Dog the Bounty Hunter."

"Dog Chapman is after her?" Spike said. "What do we have to do?"

"We have to enter this car, the Eiswolf, into the Cannonball Run. I'm pretty sure the person who helped her break out of prison has entered a team. In fact Ed should get us the roster of those invited. Got anything Ed?"

Ed checked her computer with a cheeseburger in his mouth. She got the list of those invited and found the team she was looking for. "Ed found it! The team we're looking for IS in the Cannonball Run!"

"Good job Ed. Now we have to enter the Cannonball." Jet said.

"Alright we have this huge myth to bust!" Adam Savage of the Mythbusters said.

"Yeah this myth is about the Cannonball Run." Jamie Hyneman said. "The myth is that a RV was used in the first ever Cannonball Run and that it won the Cannonball Run."

"We did some research on this subject." Grant Imahara said. "We found that the RV didn't win but came in dead last."

"Yeah, this myth is busted before we can even test it." Keri Byron said.

"So let's get a RV and see if it is plausible for a RV to win the international Cannonball Run." Tori Belleci said.

"Great idea!" Adam agreed with Tori. So the Mythbusters went out and bought a Winnebago RV. They called it the Journey and they painted the Mythbusters log on both sides of the Journey. They even added a gadget to make Journey into a submarine. Since there is no bridges this year. Then they left for the Cannonball Arena in Antarctica.

"Cannonball Run here we come!" Tori shouted with glee as he drove the Journey.

"Well we better thank Wile E. Coyote for building our entry for the Cannonball this year, Daffy." Bugs Bunny said. Bugs was driving a '67 Ford Mustang with Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn and Elmer Fudd. This Mustang is called the Brooklyn and it is painted gun metal grey.

As they were driving, police lights and sirens go off behind them.

"I say, I say lose those cops!" Foghorn said.

"Here we go!" Bugs presses the nitrous button and the Brooklyn speeds ahead of the Highway Patrol.

Team Satomi test drove their two entries into the Cannonball Run. One was a gold '65 Chevy Corvette and the other was the same except it was a convertable. In the convertable is Team Satomi's pilot, Takeshi and his partner Liz Riccaro. In the other Corvette is Amy and her pet cat Luca. Luca is wearing a special cat helmet. This gives her the ability to converse with Amy and the rest of Team Satomi through her thoughts. Which are projected over the sound system.

"Alright! The San Marino Spyder works perfectly!" Liz said.

"So does the San Marino." Luca added.

"Okay, I think we're ready for the Cannonball Run." Takeshi said, as the two cars sped off the track and onto the highway.

"Okay thank you Mr. Yates. We'll see you at the Cannonball Arena." Buckaroo Banzai hung up his phone, in his office and walked out to the garage. Inside the finishing touches were being added to a '70 Toyota Celica's, known as the Bonsai, latest invention. This new invention is known as the Roar Horn. It's a beefed up car horn, capable of sending any surrounding cars away from the Bonsai.

"How is the Roar Horn?" Buckaroo asked Sydney "New Jersey" Zweibal.

"It works just like we wanted to work. Want to see?"

"Fine, but just this once. We have to get those laptops, Overthrusters, CD-Rom discs, tracking devices and other equipment to the South Pole."

Sydney got into the driver's seat, with Perfect Tommy sitting next to him in the passenger's seat. Cars with no windows were parked next to the Bonsai. Buckaroo went to the upper level's observatory. Knowing that he was in danger on the lower floor. He watched as Sydney activated the Roar Horn and honked the Bonsai's horn. The cars were sent flying in all directions. They all landed upside down or on the side. Buckaroo was pleased.

"I think we're ready to go." he said.

Jungle Karma Pizza, the eatery that is work for a special team of super heroes. The Power Rangers Jungle Fury, is what they're called. Upstairs in their loft, Lily, Casey and Theo finsihed packing the things they would need for the Cannonball Run. They walked downstairs, where their boss and mentor awaited them.

"I took the liberty of securing a vehicle for the race." RJ said. "If you three ever get into trouble, Dom and I will help you out."

"Thanks RJ." Casey said.

They walked outside and saw their vehicle, a PT Cruiser. It was decorated with a jungle camo paint job, on the hood was a red tiger, a yellow cheetah and a blue jaguar. On the sides the words "Fury Cruizer" was painted in goldish yellow paint. In front of the Rangers black cat scratch logo.

"Fury Cruizer indeed." Theo said with a grin.

The Cerrano, a black 1971 Plymouth Road Runner, stopped at a red light. Behind the wheel is Johnny Cage; along with Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and Kitana in the passengers.

Next to them is a 1973 Buick Riviera called the Cerva. Inside that car is Team Deception; Onaga, Shao Kahn, Shang Tsung and Quan Chi.

"Nice to see you again Kahn!" Johnny said.

"You will never win the Cannonball Run, Cage!" Shao Kahn said from the driver's seat.

The light turned green and both cars sped off in a drag race.

"How were you able to get a hold of a car this cool?" asked Heather Morris.

Heather was once a survivor of the town Silent Hill and she teamed up with fellow survivor James Sunderland, who bought a Bugatti Veyron cheap.

"It was cheap for some reason. Besides the Zenda is the best car I can get on short notice." James said.

Stan Smith, a CIA agent in Langley Falls, awaist the rest of his team at the Roswell UFO landing site. With the alien Roger inside a military Humvee called the Patriot's trunk.

"How long I have to stay in here?" Roger calls out. "It's so dark and I only have one air hole."

"You'll get a new air hole when we arrive at the starting line." Stan replied.

Soon a black Ford car pulled up and out came FBI agent Fox Mulder, MiB agents K and J.

"Hey Stan, how is Roger doing?" K asked.

"He's in the trunk, complaining that I didn't give him two air holes when we left home."

"I'll get the drill." K said as he went back to the car. He pulls out a laser drill to drill a couple more air holes for Roger.

"There is no way we are riding in that piece of crap!" Sparks said to Captain Tornado Shanks, the captain of Sealab. Sparks is referring to the 50's pickup truck behind Tornado. "That thing won't last one continent!"

"Don't worry Sparks." Tornado said. "I know what to do."

That night Tornado starts the night long remodelling of the Walton. He starts and revs up a chainsaw before saying "Well baby, it's time to pimp you up. Don't fear the Reaper."

The next morning Tornado, Sparks, Sealab musclehead Marco and Sealab's retard Stormy leave Sealab on the Walton. With Sparks and Stormy in the back and Marco driving. While Tornado sleeps from his all nighter.

CM Punk's entrance theme hits the sound system and makes the ECW audience to cheer. In seconds, a prison transfer van drives down the entrance ramp. CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer, Steven Richards, Kevin Thorn and The Boogeyman get off and head into the ring. Where Punk is given a mic.

"We were told that we had to enter the Cannonball Run!" Punk said. "Because Stone Cold Steve Austin is entering his team again and our boss wants us to beat them! Well we're going to enter the Cannonball Run and we WILL BEAT Stone Cold's team to the finish line! This I swear unto you ECW fans! This vehicle, called the Prison Van, will be our key to victory!"

The audience begins chanting "E-C-Dub!" repeatedly, as Team ECW gets back in the Prison Van. Punk is having trouble trying to back the Prison Van back up the entrance ramp.

"Ah crap!" Punk says.

Inside DATS garage, in Japan, three DATS agents are staring at their Cannonball Run vehicle, a Dodge Aspen station wagon. These agents are Marcus Damon, Thomas Norstein and Yoshi Fujieda. Their Digimon are standing beside them. Those Digimon are Agumon, Lalamon and Gaoman.

"The Pangea is ready!" Yoshi exclaimed.

"Are you sure a Digimon team, known as the Digidestined, entered the Cannonball Run years ago?" Thomas asked.

"Yes they did, but they didn't win." Yoshi replied.

"Where they failed, we shall succeed. Right boss?" asked Agumon.

"Right Agumon! We shall win the Cannonball Run!" Marcus said.

A school bus called the School Bus, is driving along the ice roads of the Antarctic. Inside is the Full Metal Alchemist Edward Elric, his brother Al Elric, Colonel Roy Mustang and Winry Rockbell. All five aren't talking to each other. Instead they are looking out the steamed windows, caused by the heater cranked all the way to max. The School Bus continues it's way to the Cannonball Arena. Which Roy can see in the distance. The silence is broken when Ed sneezes

"BLESS YOU!" The others say.

"Thanks..." Ed replies.

Famed wizard in training, Harry Potter, leads his friends through the Forbidden Woods. Which is outside Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ron and Hermione are Harry's classmates and best friends. The three walk to a BMW M3.

"This is the Nelson." Harry said. "I named it after that Nelson kid, that was involved in that accident in Snape's potions class."

"Oh yeah poor Nelson." Ron said. "Why did you lead us to a car?"

"I'm entering the Cannonball Run." Harry said. "I need you two to come with me to form a team and to represent Hogwarts. By order of Dumpledore himself."

"What if Draco and his gang find us?" Hermione asked. "I don't think he'll let us get away. Especially since his dad is in good relations with the Minister of Magic."

"He will never know." Harry said. "That is why the Nelson was brought here by Hagrid."

The three got in and the Nelson lifted off the ground and flew off to the starting line. Hpwever Harry never knew about Draco Malfoy and his gang on their magic brooms. Along with Dolores Umbridge watching the Nelson leave with them.

"Go and follow Mr. Potter." Dolores ordered. "We can't let him complete the race."

"Got it." Draco said as he flew off after the Nelson; his gang following him.

"Alright we're ready for the Cannonball Run." Bam Margera said to the MTV camera man going with the CKY Crew to the Cannonball Run. Bam shows the camera man a Hummer H2 strech limo with a trailer being loaded with supplies and furinture. The trailer is being set up for Phil Margera, Bam's dad and Don Vito's replacement. Seeing as how Don Vito is in jail for groping a underage girl. Not a good thing though.

"This is The Job." Bam said to the cameraman. "Our Cannonball Run entry. And that trailer is for my dad to stay in. Since Don Vito won't be joining us in this race. Oh, Glomb and Novak won't be joining us either."

What Bam doesn't know is that inside a crate of fruit, is Tim Glomb and Brandon Novak. They're hiding from Bam and will surprise him later. They're going on this Cannonball Run, even if Bam wants them to or not.

Raab Himself looks at two suitcases and says "These don't belong to anybody in our group. Oh well."

Raab puts them inside the trailer with the other stuff. Not really knowing that they belong to Novak and Glomb.

"So this is our vehicle, Cortana?" Master Chief, a Spartan cyborg, asked. He was looking at a green color shift paint TVR Sagaris.

"Yep..." said the AI Cortana. "It is called the Rattler."

"It looks like a very good choice." Covenant Elite leader, Arbiter, said.

In Antarctica, at one of the Cannonball Arena's eight hangers for the vehicles, is a Chrysler 300C painted blue, white and red. With a gold V-fin design on the hood. The car's color turns to gray when the engine is shut down. Kira Yamato and his friend Athrun Zala get out of the front. Lunamaria Hawke and Shinn Asuka got out of the back.

"Well we're here at last and the Atlus performed well." Kira said.

"You can thank Dearka and Yzak for that. As they both had other things to do and couldn't make it this year." Athrun said.

"Well we better go and register early, I guess." Shinn said. "Luckily those four Gundam Meisters never decided to enter the Cannonball Run."

Lunamaria turns to Shinn and says "Can you blame them? They've got a war in Iraq to stop. And they're headed to Iran to destroy all nuclear materials that can make nuclear weapons."

The Compton is a '64 Chevy Impala, painted similar to the Chevy Impala that Dean Winchester drives. It may look identical to the one Dean drives, but this Impala was bought at a junk yard and restored.

"Well Sam... We're finally going to do this." Dean said.

"Yes we are. I can hardly wait to test this Compton against the other cars in the Cannonball." said Dean's brother Sam.

"So you ladies, the bald man and his midget son think you can beat us in the Aqua?" Kyle Bennon asked Natalie Cook. Her fellow Charlie's Angels, Dr. Evil and his clone Mini Me stand nearby their vehicle for the Cannonball Run. A Chevy El Camino called the La Furerza. The Aqua is a Scion xB, painted cobalt blue.

"Yeah we can take you!" Alex said. 'Right here and right now."

"Well we need the practice before we enter the international Cannonball Run anyway." said Hispanic street racer Andre. Who stood next to street racer Lobo "Speedy" Gonzalez."

"Let's go." Kyle said. "Our Aqua against your La Furerza."

The cars raced through the empty highway at night, with onlookers cheering them on. Eventually it is the La Furerza was the car that reached the finish line first.

"Unbelieveable!" Kyle said. Then he turned to Natalie. "This isn't over."

"Of course not." Natalie replied. "We'll continue our fued in the Cannonball!"

A '49 Mercury and a modified LAV-25 personnel carrier were drag racing. Inside the Mercury is Team Capcom. Consisting of Mega Man, Dante, Ryu Hoshi and Chris Redfield. Inside the LAV-25 is Team Konami. Consisting of Liquid Snake, Otacon, Harry Mason, Leon Belmont and Henry Townsend. The LAV-25 is called the Negotiator and the Mercury is called the Gunslinger.

"You'll never make it to the ferry first!" Chris said driving the Gunslinger.

"We don't need to catch the ferry!" Liquid said. "Otacon show him what the Negotiator has!"

Otacon typed in a a command into the computer and the Negotiator turns into a hovercraft and drives into the water, next to the ferry. The Negotiator travels to the starting line, with Liquid laughing all the way.

Ghost Rider drives his Cannonball entry, a custom motorcycle called the Chopper, along the highway.

"I have returned and I shall win the Cannonball this year." he said. Behind him is a Dodge Monaco ambulence. In-laws James "Jimmy" Hughes and Greg Warner drive along the highway, trying to think of a name for their vehicle.

"How about the Death Mobile?" Greg asked.

"Nah, doesn't have a nice ring to it." Jimmy said. "Wait weren't ambulences used to be called Meat Wagons?"

"Yeah..." then it struck Greg. "Oh I know... We can call this entry the Meat Wagon!"

"Sounds good to me!"

Team Oban... Consisting of Eva Wei, Rick Thunderbolt, Stan and Koji; gets ready to get their entry into the Cannonball Run. Which is a Audi Q7 called the Quasar. Eva's father is giving her a pep talk before they leave.

"Eva be careful. There is always some group trying to steal the money and bring harm to the Cannonballers." Don Wei said.

"Don't worry dad. I'll be careful." Eva replied. "Isn't that why you had Rick join the team, to act as my bodyguard?"

"Well that too, but I just want you to be careful. Alright?"

"Got it dad."

Eva runs over to the Quasar and climbs into the passenger's seat before putting on her seatbelt. The Quasar's flight capabilities is activated and it takes to the sky. Heading to the starting line.

Tobe, leader of Sooga Village's evil ninja clan, looks at the people who he has hired for the Cannonball Run.

"You four have been chosen to join my team for the Cannonball Run." Tobe said. "We shall crush Garu's team like a brick and win the prize money."

"Oh Tobe has a way with words." said Jing-Jing, who has a crush on Tobe. Shaman and Clown seem to agree.

"This is good for Muji!" Muji said messing with his prized moustache.

"Now our vehicle is outside. We shall go now!"

They all went outside to find a Audi A6 station wagon, called the Kimodo. They all climb into the Kimodo and leave for the ferry.

Meanwhile at the local noodle restaurant. Garu's team was ready and were given noodle bowls to eat during their trip. To eat these noodles, you had to add boiling hot water and wait three minutes.

Uncle Dumpling, one of Pucca's guardians and chef, says his goodbyes to Pucca, Garu, Abyo and Ching.

"Alright you have your supply of instant noodles. Just add boiling hot water and let them sit for three minutes." he said.

"Yeah this is our new line of products." Linguini said. "We're hoping our instant noodles will be a hit all over the world."

"We're sure they will do fine." Abyo said. "Now where are our vehicles?"

Uncle Dumpling pointed outside the building. "They're out there. Garu gets the Pizzaboy, Pucca gets the Noodleboy, Abyo gets the Sanchez and Ching gets the Ventoso."

The four grabbed their supplies and went outside. There were two delivery Vespas and two mopeds. It was decided that Pucca and Garu carry the supplies for the four of them. So they load up and leave Sooga Village. Where everyone waves goodbye and wishes them good luck.

"Alright you two. You ready for our Woo Foo mission?" Master Yo, a old panda and a master of Woo-Fu, said to his two students. Who are two bunny siblings.

"We're ready for the Cannonball, Master Yo!" Yin, a pink female bunny said.

"We're so going to win this race with our vehicle!" Yang, a blue male bunny said.

Yo opens the driver's side door to a Toyota Corolla FX16 and gets inside. "Come on! Get into the Jackrabbit and let's go! We have to hurry to the starting line so we can register!"

Yin and Yang climb into the Jackrabbit and the car levitates off the ground via a special Woo Foo magic technique.

Somehwere in Progress City, Mr. Bedlam is trying to discuss business with other high ranking members of the Illuminati. These include Mesogog, Lothor, Xemnas, Tong Po and Lucius Malfoy.

"So we got the henchmen all set up?" Bedlam asked.

"That we do..." Mesogog, a humanoid dinosaur and mad scientist, said. "We hired these video game players called the Red and Blue Grunts. They were led by the Red Zealot."

"But I got the Combine off of City 17's mayor Breen for a hundred dollars!" Lothor said. "Their contract was up for the highest bidder and Breen bought the Combine forces from the leader of the Combine for only fifty cents!"

"Adiminstrator Breen has always been a cheap arse." Lucius said. "That is why the citizens of City 17 are rebelling. Not only because of the Combine's Civil Protection, but also because they aren't being paid enough. He pays less to stay filthy rich!"

"It's also why he's not a member of our society for that very reason." Xemnas said. "Well we got our henchmen, but we need Alice Foyt to help us this year too."

"She's in prison for two years Xemnas." Mesogog said. "But we have hired her daughter, a former Marine Corps soldier. A real good one too. She never let her gender get in the way of serving her country. In fact she was in a combat unit, despite the military brass not allowing women in combat units. She was recently discharged and now she's out for revenge against the Cannonballers."

"Excellent." Bedlam said with a evil grin. "Send her to the starting line. Have her spy on the Cannonballers and if she has the opportunity; sabotage a few of the vehicles."

"What about Danny Cruger and William O'Malley?" asked Lothor. "They're waiting on stand by to go in and ready to mess with the vehicles."

"Send them in with Alice's daughter." Bedlam said. "Now I think this meeting is done for. Dismissed!"

**Author's Comment: I amde the changes to chapter 1. So be sure to check it out. I will write chapter 3 and then take a short break.**


	3. PARTY!

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Author's Note: Thanks to BKelly95 for writing the Bluths' scene for this chapter. Also the Cannonball Warrior segment will be for chapter 4.**

**Chapter 3: PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!**

The Cannonball Run International Committee waited at the Cannonball Arena for the Cannonballers via watchtowers. So they wouldn't have to stand in the below zero antarctic weather. Eventually Blake saw headlights in the blizzard. "There they are!"

Sure enough the Cannonball Run vehicles are flying or driving on the ice to the Cannonball Base. The Nelson is flying alongside the Pelican dropships carrying the Blood Gulch vehicles.

"Man that is a lot of dropships." Cortana, the Gunslinger's AI said. Cortana was uploaded into the car from Master Chief's armor. She's also the automated pilot for the Gunslinger. "Who would be coming here in a Pelican dropship Chief?"

"I think I know who." MC said. "It would be best to avoid them until the start of the race."

"Why?" Arbiter asked

"Because it's the Red and Blue Teams from Blood Gulch and they're pissed."

"Why?" Arbiter asked.

"Because they're mad at me for blowing up Halo and sticking them in that boring canyon."

"Yikes. I would be the same way." Arbiter said.

---

Gou Fumaki aka GekiViolet and Ken Hisatsu aka GekiChopper, were sitting in the front of the NRG V8. With the Fury Cruizer beside them.

"(Look!)" Ken said pointing the Fury Cruizer. "(American Power Rangers!)"

Both men laugh.

---

The Mitsumi and the Chopper were racing each other to the Cannonball Arena. The band Dethklok saw this and decided to get on stage with Cletus T. Judd. Nathan grabbed the mic.

"The Cannonballers are on their way. And this song is dedicated to Ghost Rider and that masked guy; who are racing each other. Hit guys!"

**Song: "Ghost Riders in the Sky" by Spiderbait  
Sung by: Dethklok and Cletus T. Judd**

Den-O Sword Form pulls ahead of the Chopper and Ghost Rider. But the Chopper catches up. The two motorcycles eventually stop at one of the hangers for the vehicles, at the same time.

"That was a good race." Ghost Rider said. "See you in the actual race."

"(I plan on it!)" Momotaros said.

---

"Say Sparks." Marco said to Sparks. "Why did we have to put this tarp over the back of the Walton?

"Because it's f---ing cold outside! That's why!" Sparks replied. "That and we had to hide our cache of weapons we brought along."

"They allow weapons the vehicles this year. So why are we hiding personal weapons?"

"I don't know."

---

Pretty soon the Cannonballers arrived and parked their cars in one of the eight hangers surrounding the Cannonball Arena. They had to go through a tunnel, dug from the ice, to get inside. The tunnels were cold because of being dug out of the ice. Eventually they all arrived with their luggage to the main lobby, with the door leading to the arena in front of them. Victor and J.J met them in the main lobby.

"Cannonballers! Follow me to registration desk!" Victor said. "Once you all have your room assignments and have settled for a couple of hours, we will bring you into the arena for Brock's pre-race speech and some entertainment."

Everybody registered for the Cannonball and were given the card key to their rooms.

---

All of the Cannonballers metin the arena. Soon a different version of the Attack of the Show theme plays with the show's intro. On the jumbotrons, a changed Attack of the Show intro is shown. It is replaced with the words 'Attack of the Cannonball Run' instead. Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn are at their Attack of the Show set on stage. On the arena floor is three different levels of a obstecle course. There should be something going on tonight.

"Welcome Cannonballers!" Kevin said. "This not Attack of the Show! It is Attack of the Cannonball! Tonight we've got a great show lined up for your entertainment pleasure! We even will have a special event for you Cannonballers to participate in. We call it Cannonball Warrior. But first Brock Yates wants to say few words."

Brock comes on stage to a standing ovation. He walks to the podium set up for him and clears his throat. Waiting for the Cannonballers to quiet down and take their seats.

"Thank you everyone. Now everyone is wondering what restrictions I have set for this year. Especially after the cheating incident with Team Warioware last year and the whole Overthruster issue from two years ago. Well I'm allowing weapons to be equipped to all vehicles, that is you want them. I am putting a limit of three non lethal weapons per vehicle. As well as three gadgets per vehicle. If you have a device that gives your vehicle travel in the air or on the water. Then that counts as one of your gadgets. So pick wisely. Tomorrow during inspections, your gadgets will be installed. So pick what you want later on tonight."

Everyone cheers that the weapons are back, but don't care if the weapons are non lethal. Brock continues. "I would like to say that this will be the best Cannonball Run ever in it's history. Tomorrow before we begin the race, at midnight, the President of the United States will be here to sign the declaration to start the Cannonball Run. So enjoy this evening Cannonballers, you all deserve it!"

Everyone stands and applauds as Brock leaves the stage. Kevin and Olivia begin the entertainment portion of the party.

"Now time for one of the bands to perform a song. Here is first timers to the Cannonball Band, 16 Buttons of Justice! With their song 'Jitsu Jedi'!"

Raccoon X Espanoa and Devin Farmer take the stage.

"Thank you Kevin!" Raccoon said. "This is our hit single, Jitsu Jedi! From our debut album, There's Always Room to Improve! We hope you like as much as the world does!"

The two begin playing.

**YOU DO YOUR BEST, **

**THE BEST THAT YOU CAN, **

**SOMETIMES YOU WONDER, ARE YOU REALLY A MAN? **

**SURE, YOU MIGHT HAVE MUSCLES UNDER YOUR SHIRT, **

**BUT YOU CAN'T GET YOUR MIND OFF THAT APPLE COLORED SKIRT, **

**SO YOUR FACE IS BARE, **

**YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS, **

**YOU BOUGHT THE GIRLY DRINK, CAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE KEGS **

**SO PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU AND SEE A TINY STAG, **

**BUT YOU JUST KEEP THINKING OF CHUCK NORRIS IN DRAG.**

**JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, **

**AND THINK FOR YOURSELF, **

**TIME IS NEVER ENDING IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP; **

**JUST LOOK TO YOUR GODFATHERS AS THEY GUIDE YOU TO VICTORY.**

**SO YOU'RE A FIGHTER, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE **

**BUT YOU'RE NOT SURE, THROW A PUNCH OR PULL HAIR? **

**THE ICE CREAM DAME, IS ASKING YOU ON A DATE **

**BUT YOU'RE MORE CONCERNED WITH WHY STUDLY ROY IS LATE.**

**JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, **

**AND THINK FOR YOURSELF, **

**TIME IS NEVER ENDING IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP; **

**JUST LOOK TO YOUR GODFATHERS AS THEY GUIDE YOU TO VICTORY...**

**THOUGH YOU ARE SINGLE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE **

**LOOKING FOR THAT PERFECT FIX OF TESTOSTERONE **

**JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT, **

**BUT I GUESS YOU WENT TO BOSSADILLO'S FOR THE NIGHT **

**JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, **

**AND THINK FOR YOURSELF, **

**TIME IS NEVER ENDING IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP; **

**JUST LOOK TO YOUR GODFATHERS AS THEY GUIDE YOU TO VICTORY... **

**JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, **

**AND THINK FOR YOURSELF, **

**TIME IS NEVER ENDING IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP; **

**JUST LOOK TO YOUR GODFATHERS AS THEY GUIDE YOU TO VICTORY... **

**JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, **

**((JITSU JEDI)) **

**AND THINK FOR YOURSELF, **

**((JITSU JEDI)) **

**TIME IS NEVER ENDING IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP; **

**JUST LOOK TO YOUR GODFATHERS AS THEY GUIDE YOU TO VICTORY...**

**"Jitsu Jedi" by 16Buttons of Justice**

Everyone in the arena cheers for them, as they take a bow and say their thanks. Before leaving the stage.

"Next up we have our Gadget Pron segment." Kevin said. "Where you, the Cannonballers, will know what else you will get for the race.

---

Janice K. Foyt, a former Marine and now a current agent for the Illuminati. She wears a mechanic's uniform with her brown hair dyed temporary blond hair dye. She also has a Cannonball Run staff baseball hat to ensure no one will reconize her. "King" William O'Malley, famed drug lord and one of INTERPOL's most wanted fugitives, walks with Janice to Hanger 8. There they split up and go over to the Negotiator and the Kimodo.

"Alright what do you want me to do, over?" William said on his radio.

"Just install lethal weapons into their vehicles." Janice said. "That will make sure they get disqualified. Once you're done with the Negotiator, go and sabatoge the Mongoose and Spectre, over."

"I'm on it, over."

---

"Alright everyone! It's time for Attack of the Cannonball Run's segment, Gadget Pron!" Kevin exclaims. The Gadget Pron intro plays, which is just CG animation of a porn shop, but with stuff like the Xbox 360, iPods and iPhones in place of sex toys. The logo is neon lights.

"Alright this year is different than what it was from last year." Olivia said.

"That's right." Kevin said. "This year only non lethal weapons will be added to the vehicles this year. Not only that but some vehicles will get three helpful gadgets for their vehicles. Some will get two, if they have a flying or boat capabilites. Personal weapons don't have to be non lethal, but the racer should have some experience using the weapon."

"Yeah the weapon limit for vehicles is so the vehicle won't get weighed down with machinary."

Kevin says "Not only that Olivia, but Cannonball will get each of the following after inspection tomorrow. Adam Sessler will show the gadgets you Cannonballers will receive. Adam..."

Adam Sessler is standing at table on stage, in the arena. The Cannonballers are there to see what they will get. Adam picks up a Visa credit card with the Cannonball Run logo on it. "Thank you Kevin. First off each team will receive this Cannonball Run credit card. Not only is it for you to use on this year's prototype time system, but it also has a unlimited budget for food and gas during your trips. Don't worry, there are places designated for the Cannonball Run."

Adam holds a laptop, a CD-ROM disc, a webcam and a tracking device transmitter. "That's not all Cannonballers. You will all receive a laptop computer, which includes maps for you to plot your course. There is also a CD-ROM with locations for your map and to activate the Cannonball Run Browser. The CRB is a special internet browser, that will let you communicate with other teams. In case of emergencies only. A webcam comes with it, so our reporters can get a interview during the race. The CRB also includes updated traffic and weather reports. It's also tuned to the Cannonball Run online radio station, so there is no need to find it on the car radio. Now this last device is a tracking device. You must keep it on your car at all times. We have to track you and make sure no one cheats. Like Team Warioware did last year. If there is a problem with your car during the race, the tracking device will allow us to find you. So we can repair your vehicle."

Adam reached under the table and brought up a silver briefcase. Inside was a Overthruster, made by Banzai Labratories.

"Team Banzai brought these with him." Adam said. "This is a One Time Use Overthruster. Buckaroo and Mr. Yates agreed for this thing. Only use it in case of emergencies. Like if you're trapped inside a mine or surrounded by police. That should be about it for the gadgets Cannonballers. Later a drawing to see who leaves first will be held in Hanger 7. Send one person from your team. That is all, back to you Kevin."

"Sounds interesting Adam. We'll bring you the drawing later in the night." Kevin said. "But right now we want to ask for thirty Cannonballers. That's right thirty. Because up next we're going to bring you Cannonball Warrior! Don't you dare miss it!"

---

The Cannonballers had some time before Cannonball Warrior began. Some of the racers went to sign up and some went to Hanger 7 to pick their starting places. Those that remained chose to head to the bar for some drinks and time to unwind. Over at the Team Degrassi table, Ashley and Jay were talking to Team Strangerhood's Wade and Sam.

"So you guys entered the Camper A? You little jerks!" Ashley said.

"Hey man! We had no idea that you were entering the same vehicle with the same name man!" Wade said.

"The hippie has a point Ash." Jay said.

Andy and Randy were showing their masks.

"So we have to work together to beat this Total Anarchy, huh?" Andy said.

"Yeah..." Randy replied. "Until then we're rivals."

"I agree." Andy said. Then he heard the announcement for all those who signed up for Cannonball Warrior to meet in the main lobby. "Well I better get going. Captain Chaos signed up for Cannonball Warrior."

"See ya."

---

The Cannonballers that signed up met in the main lobby, with Kevin and Olivia.

"Alright Cannonball Warrior is split up into three different stages. The only way to the next stage is to pass this event without falling into the water and receive the key to the next stage." Kevin said.

"We're going easy on you all, by making sure there is no time limit." Olivia said.

"Now the course goes like this..." Kevin brings up a map for the contestants.

---

_"Michael and George-Michael explored their competition and took in the scene."_

"So, dad, do you think Uncle Gob has something up his sleeve?" asked Geroge-Michael.

"Knowing your uncle, I wouldn't put it past him." said Michael.

Just then, they heard yelling.

"That's coming from the van." said George-Michael.

"Yeah, let's go check it out." said Michael.

Michael and George-Michael returned to the van to find Gob arguing with Earl.

"...king van. Come on!" yelled Gob.

"Alright." said Earl. He walked away.

"What was that about?" asked Michael.

"Ah, I think he was just curious about the engine in the van." said Gob.

_"And he had reason to be due to Gob's activities of the last hour."_

(flashback)

Jesse James was showing off the the engine in the Hot Rod. "Right here is the setup for the timing chain." he said.

"Yeah, I could use that if I wanted to destroy the three-hundred horsepower engine in my van. Come on!" said Gob.

(flashback 2)

Cloud Strife was going over a map of the Austrailia. "Okay, here's the route I think we should take." he said.

"Oh, right." said Gob. "The guy with the four-hundred horsepower engine is going to take advice from a guy whose engine wouldn't make that with nitrous. Come on!"

(flashback 3)

Ricky was pouring oil into the engine of the Bootlegger.

"Like I'm putting that poison into the five-hundred horsepower engine in my van. Come on!" said Gob.

_"Gob then returned to the van to see the results of his bragging."_

Gob walked back to the van to find Earl looking at the engine.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Gob.

"I'm just seeing if this engine is as powerful as you say." said Earl.

"I know what you're doing." said Gob. "You're trying to sabotage the six-hundred horsepower engine in my fu..."

---

Earl runs over to Team Nintendo Wii.

"Hey that guy is lying." Earl said. "Spread the word that Team Bluth is lying about the horsepower in their van."

"Okay!" Mario shouted.

Mario went over to Team Spartan and told them about the engine.

"Alright, I'll spread the word." MC said.

MC accidently forgot to no visit Team Red or Team Blue. However it was too late when Grif and Simmons stepped right in front of him.

"Uh oh!"

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here!" Grif shouted.

"I only came over to tell you that the Team Bluth horsepower is a lie!"

"Oh you mean that whole thing about the horsepower?" Simmons asked. "We knew, we heard Gob keep on changing the horsepower. But we're letting him brag because it's funny."

"Well keep sreading the word."

"We will." Grif said.

Grif had to go tell Team Vercetti about the Bluth van's horsepower lie. It was either that or Sarge used him for target practice.

"Hey I came to tell you that..." Grif was interrupted by Tommy.

"I know about that lie already. Mario told us." Tommy said. "Besides, I won the Cannonball Run last year. One thing I can tell you it's not about the horsepower, it's about the route and losing the cops. So go tell someone else."

Grif went over to another team and was about to tell the team about the lie. Then he shrieked and ran away. The team he was about to tell, was Team Bluth.

"What was THAT about?" Michael asked.

---

Ryotaro was dancing on the dance floor, while posessed by Ryutaros.

"(This is quite a party!)" Ryutaros exclaimed.

---

"Okay everyone!" Kevin said. "Before we begin Cannonball Warrior here, one of our Cannonballers made a request. So here for your listening enjoyment, here is Reel Big Fish with their song 'A-W-E-S-O-M-E'!"

Reel Big Fish comes out on stage. Shayla Walker, who made the request, screams at the top of her lungs before passing out. Right next to Adam and her teammates too.

"Something you want to tell me about Adam?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, Shayla is a Reel Big Fish fanatic." Adam sighed. "I tried so hard to keep it a secret too."

**Song: "A-W-E-S-O-M-E" by Reel Big Fish**

---

"What do you mean you're going to disqualify the Kimodo!" Muji yelled at the mechanic, who is actually William O'Malley. "This is not good for Muji!"

"As I said to you just now." William said. "I'm disqualifying your vehicle because of the weapons! I mean look at them! This are lethal weapons!"

"Those aren't the weapons Muji picked!"

"What's going on here?" said Morris Fenderbaum. Muji and William told him their sides of the story. Fenderbaum walks over to the Kimodo with a copy of the weapons that Muji ordered. Once he was done inspecting the car. He took Muji to a office.

"Okay someone has tampered with your car Mr. Muji." he said.

"Not good for Muji..."

"In fact it is good for Muji. In fact it is good for the entire Cannonball." Fenderbaum said. "You see, that mechanic has tampered with your vehicle. I'm going to confront him right now."

By the time Fednerbaum went out to confront William. He had already ran to Janice and told her that they have been made. Both ran to the exit of the hanger, where Danny was waiting for them in one of his cars, a Dodge Ram called the Hunter Takedown.

"Stop those two mechanics!" Fenderbaum shouted. Security agents Tanner and Lone Wolf ran as fast as they could to catch Janice and William, but the two climbed into the Takedown and the car sped off.

"They got away." Tanner said. "Luckily we have the security camera footage to see who they are."

---

"We've just been informed that two mechanics tampered with the Cannonball vehicles." Kevin said. "The CRIC is still trying to figure out the two mechanics' identities. So we'll know when they know. Which will be a while. So what Mr. Yates wants you, the Cannonballers, to do. Is to go to your vehicles and check everything. If you find something wrong, tell our legit mechanics or Mr. Fenderbaum. They will correct everything."

---

"This is the footage we pulled from the security cameras." Tanner said opening the security footage on the main computer. The CRIC members present with Tanner and Lone Wolf; are sitting a conference room in the Cannonball Arena. Tanner gets the footage up on the screen. Showing William and Janice before putting on hats to hide their faces.

"I think know the guy." J.J. said. "Yeah I know that guy! He's William O'Malley! He's the most wanted man in the entire world!"

"Wanted for what?" Blake asked.

"Murder and drug dealing." J.J. said. "This guy's drug empire hasn't been shut down because of his wealth and hold on the law enforcement of the world."

"But who is the woman that he's working with?" Brock asked.

Tanner replies "We don't kno about her yet. But we have someone else you may reconize."

The footage now shows footage before Janice and William running to the getaway car. It shows Danny Cruger waiting near the Polaris V8.

"As you can see, William's best drug runner Danny Cruger, has escaped from prison recently." Lone Wolf said. "One of the Cannonballers in this race helped in Danny's arrest."

"Oh that's right Tim Clarks has entered hasn't he?" J.J. said. "Victor and I were in charge of that national Cannonball. Danny was disqualified and arrested. Along with the Los Angeles Bloods and Danny's racing partner."

"Should we inform Tim about Danny's prison break?" Victor asked.

"Yes let's inform him. We will need his help in capturing William and the woman."

---

"My sensors don't detect any tampering." Sheila told Caboose. "In fact nothing was messed with. Not even my on board computers."

"Well that is a relief Sheila." Caboose said.

Over with the Mongoose...

"One of those mechanics did try to tamper with the Mongoose." O'Malley said Fenderbaum. "But I scared him away by saying hello and threatening to destroy him."

"Good you were uploaded into this ATV." Fenderbaum replied.

Over to the Puma...

"Anything Tex?" Church asked.

"Yeah, it looks like some cut the brake line to the Puma."

Tucker was underneath the Puma and looking at two parts.

"Hey there is a part shaped like a bunny and a part shaped like a soup can!"

"Tucker don't touch anything." Tex said. "I've replaced the brake line and I'm going to try it now."

Tex climbed into the Puma and started it up. It started up perfectly, however Tucker screamed in pain.

"Tucker what happened?"

"I touched the bunny! Then my hand got caught in the soup can!"

"I said to not touch anything!" Tex said. "Well as soon as Tucker gets out from under the Puma. I'll test the new brake line."

"Alright, good job Tex."

---

"Well we're still waiting for the contestants to get ready for Cannonball Warrior." Kevin said. "So until then, we're pleased to announce that one of our Cannonballers will be putting on a magic show for us. Please welcome George Oscar "Gob" Bluth."

Gob stands on stage and bows to the applause.

"For my first trick is to release a hundred doves out of this hat." Gob points to a magic hat. He then lights a match and tosses it into the said hat. Then a explosion erupts from the hat and finally a hundred flaming doves fly out of the hat. Causing panic among the Cannonball audience. Gob however was trying to put them out with a nearby fire extinquisher.

"Oh boy roasted dove!" Agumon said as his stomach growled. "Well a feast is a feast."

Agumon begins jumping to catch the doves with in his mouth. He's somewhat successful in catching doves that fly low enough.

"That is disgusting!" Thomas and Gaoman said in unison.

Gannondorf uses his magic, while Dark Samus uses her arm cannon to deal with the burning birds of peace.

"Take that!" Gannondorf shouts as he shoots down a dove.

Master Chief is using his SMG and a Needler to take down the doves. While Arbiter is using a plasma pistol and energy sword. Team Hogwarts is using their magic wands to lend a hand in the dove hunting.

"There is nothing like magic." Ron said.

Team Eureka hid under a table. While Carter fired on the doves, using the table as cover of course.

Finally the doves were delt with. One dove even landed in Andre's beer. Agumon looked at his beer and asked. "Are you going to eat that?"

"No little talking orange dinosaur. Here you go." Andre pulled it out of his beer and tossed it to Agumon, where he ate it in one gulp.

"Thanks mister!"

Gob cleared his throat and decided to cut his show short, after this little incident.

"Well I think after this, I'm going to do one last trick. Which is my encore. I would like a volunteer from the audience."

Only Kenny McCormick raised his hand. "Yes you little boy, in the orange parka."

Kenny goes on stage and stands beside Gob. "What's your name little boy."

"(Kenny!)"

"Well Kenny, get into the box my brother Michael is bringing out."

Michael comes out with a box. Kenny gets into it as Gob grabs a saw. "For this trick I'm going to saw this little boy in half. Don't worry Kenny. It's a trick, you'll be back together in no time."

Gob saws Kenny in half and seperates the now two boxes. Showing that the trick was a success. He puts the two boxes together again and Kenny gets out. In one piece, but then his abdomen and his upper half falls on stage. His intestines showing and blood gushing on stage.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" Stan shouts.

"You bastards!" Matt adds. Despite the fact that Kyle always says that.

---

Dr. House looks over Kenny in the infirmary. He has just finished sowing Kenny back together. The rest of Team South Park waited for Dr. House's report. He walks out into the waiting room to the awaiting team.

"Well doctor, how is Kenny doing?" Jimbo asked. "He's not dead is he?"

House shakes his head no. "No, surprisingly he's still alive. He actually survived being sawed in half. Which is amazing, because no one really survives being sawed in half like that. He is cleared to leave the infirmary and his treatment is free of charge."

"Oh thank you Dr. house." Jimbo said. "We'll see you in the race then."

"I'm sure you will." House replied.

---

Gob sat next to Adam and Eve. Who were in the middle of their drinks.

"Tequila please." Gob said to the bartender. "Leave the bottle."

He receives a glass and a bottle of tequila. He sighs "I've made a huge mistake..."

Seconds later he's being chased out of the bar and around the arena by Adam and Eve.

---

:"Arlight Cannonballers!" Kevin said. "Cannonball Warrior starts now! So get back into the arena and prepare for quite a show."

**Author's Comment: I'm only going to do these teams for this chapter. Next chapter is the Cannonball Warrior portion of the party. If there is a team I forgot that doesn't have someone in Cannonball Warrior, then I'll put them in somewhere in chapter 4. So enjoy this chapter. Because it will be a little while till I get the next chapter done and dusted.**


	4. Cannonball Warrior!

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've been playing World of Warcraft and it has been addicting. Very addicting.**

**Chapter 4: Cannonball Warrior!**

Tim Glomb and Brandon Novak broke free of the crates they were in. Both looked to see if the coast is clear.

"Is it clear Novak?" Tim asked.

"Yeah. Let's get out of this garage and to the party." Novak said. When they climbed out and got out of the trailer, they were caught by Phil and Ryan.

"Oh hi guys!" Tim said.

"What are you guys doing here?" Phil asked.

"We wanted to race the Cannonball with you guys." Novak said. "So we snuck aboard. So here we are. Suprised?"

---

The usual Ninja Warrior intro is played on the jumbotron. Only the faces of Cannonballers of the past are pasted over the ninjas' faces. Then it goes back to the stage. With Olivia, Kevin and GLaDOS. There is a huge applause from the crowd.

"Alright! Welcome to Cannonball Warrior!" Kevin said. "Our commentator for Cannonball Warrior is GLaDOS. You ready GLaDOS?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Kevin."

"Good because start us off with our first contestant!"

"First up is Captain Chaos. A Cannonball regular. This year's Captain Chaos is Andy Washburn, a police officer. He is a member of Team Chaos."

"Alright let's see how he does, shall we?" Kevin said as Captain Chaos walked out to the first stage, a military obstecle course.

Captain Chaos begins his run.

"Chaos begins his run! He makes it past the tires and wall! Now he's at the hard part, the hurdles! If he falls into the water now, he's eliminated!"

Chaos makes it to the monkey bars and successfully makes it to the other side. Then begins the rope climbe obstecle. He makes it to the top and craws along the rope net or the Spider Web. The goal is in sight.

"He's almost there!" GLaDOS exclaims. "He makes it! He makes it through Stage One!"

"The latest Captain Chaos makes it to Stage Two." Kevin says as Emma is shown getting ready for her run. "Next up this Canadian tries her luck to honor her homecountry. By winning Cannonball Warrior."

Emma stands ready for the airhorn to blow. When it does she begins her run.

"Emma Nelson is starting! She makes it past the wall with some difficulty! She begins climbing over the hurdles! Making sure she doesn't fall into the water! Now she's going across the monkey bars! She's at the rope climb, now the Spider Web! Yes she clocks in! She moves on to Stage 2!"

Peter Griffin is up next. He begins his run but falls into the water on the monkey bars.

"Here comes Sean Boswell." Kevin said. "He's a drift racer from Tokyo."

Sean begins his run and eventually makes it to the finish.

"He wins! So far only one has not advanced to the next round!" GLaDOS said.

"But we still have a lot more that have to try their hand GLaDOS." Kevin said.

"Well let's see who is next." Kevin looked at his notes. "We have Monster Garage host Jesse James."

Jesse James makes his run and makes it to the other side of the obstecle course.

**Author's Note: Since we all know what the course is like for Stage 1. I'm just going to run down the list of who makes it and who doesn't. It is becoming stale and I'm tired of repeating myself.**

Ginger Clarkson makes it across to reach Stage 2. Pikachu and Amanda Kauffman make it to the end as well. Pikachu actually jumps from hurdle to hurdle.

Bart Simpson and Master Chief make it to Stage 2. However Jack Carter isn't so lucky. He only makes it to the hurdles and falls in. He trips on a hurdle and that causes him to make a splash, literally.

"(My strength will make you cry!)" Kintaros said as he came out possesing Ryotaro. He makes it to Stage 2. Jimmy Hughes makes it to Stage 2 as well. Garu and Dave make their runs successful. However Dave has the slowest time. Because he too a long time on the walls and hurdles. Ron Weasley isn't athletic and only makes it to the hurdles. Where he runs into a hurdle and falls in. Despite being a detective with the NYPD Major Case Squad, Robert Goren gets tired at the Spider Web and falls in due to fatigue. Looks like Goren needs to lay off the donuts.

Marcus Damon and Agumon make it to Stage 2. Agumon ran under the hurdles. Nobody seemed to care. Marcus blames his success on his will to be the Ultimate Fighter. When asked by Kevin if Marcus has plans to join UFC after high school. Marcus merely shrugs his shoulders.

Mario is too fat to make it over the hurdles, Gannondorf's overconfidance was his undoing, Leon Belmont was near the end and he broke the Spider Web. It had to be repaired before the competition can continue.

"I shall win this and prove to Garu that I'm better than him!" Tobe begins his run but isn't watching where he's going. So he smacks into the first wall on the course. Dazed, Tobe falls into the water. Mini Me was next but couldn't climb the wall. So he gives up and purposely eliminates himself, by jumping into the water.

Lobo Gonzalez wasn't watching what he was doing. He was trying to get the Cannonballers motivated and fell in. It was the same for John Cena. Of course Austin spat his beer out in a fine mist and burst into laughter.

Finally Bam Margera was distracted by the arrival of Phil, Novak, Glomb and Ryan. He smacked into a wall and rolled off the side, into the water. Roy Mustang was too pooped to poop by the time he made it to the Spider Web. He fell off and landed in the drink.

---

"Alright! Now it's time for the second round of Cannonball Warrrior!" Kevin said. "But first a word from Mr. Yates."

Brock sat next to Kevin. He turnes to the audience to address them. "Ladies, Gentlemen and Cannonballers... It is a great pleasure to inform you that anyone competing in Cannonball Warrior, will have their overall time shaved off their starting time. That's not all. Those who win Cannonball Warrior will have two days shaved off of their overall Cannonball Time. Don't fear Cannonballers. The winners of Cannonball Warrior may not be the first to the finish line. But they do get their time shaved off by two days. One last thing, with the vehicles being sabotaged earlier, I'm sending my security team out first. So they can give me the green light to send you out. That is all."

"Okay... Well let's bring out our first Cannonball Warrior." Kevin said. He puls out a hat with names in them. "Our first Cannonball Warrior to try Stage 2 is... Ryotaro Nogami! Now remember, Stage 2 is a maze. With areas that a contestant will fall into water. Thus get eliminated."

Ryotaro begins his run through the maze. He eventually falls into a water trap.

"(I should've let Urataros do this!)" Kintaros said.

Jimmy, Dave and Jan all fail their runs, but Emma, Amanda and Garu make it to Stage 3.

"Sean Boswell and Master Chief. You two are up next." a stagehand said. Sean and Chief got up and walked over to the entrance.

Neither Shawn or Master Chief passed Stage 2. In fact they both started to hop over the walls and eventually found the water traps. Finally Bart, Marcus, Agumon amd Jess James failed to make it through the maze.

"We're at the final contestant for this round." Olivia said. "Ladies and gentlemen, please give Captain Chaos a round of applause!"

Chaos ran into the arena and into the maze. Not wasting anytime, he made his way through the maze. As if he knew exactly where he was supposed to go. He eventually made it.

---

"We're at the final round." Kevin said. "The Cannonballers that have made it this far must make across a obstecle course of American Gladiator proportions. This final obstecle course is made up five sections. They are the Gauntlet, the Rolling Log, the Hang Jump, the Warped Wall and the Rope Climb to Heaven. Our Cannonballers will each have their overall time of this competition shaved off their starting time. But only the winners will have two days shaved off of their Cannonball Run time as a whole. To those who didn't make it, you can still win. The winning Cannonballers may waste two days while out on the race. So let's get started on the final round."

"First up is Amanda Kauffman." GLaDOS said. "She begins her run! Oh! She only made it to the Log Roll before falling into the water!"

Amanda begins her run. The Gauntlet is a bunch of padded bags swinging. The object is to run across the narrow path while avoiding them. Amanda does so but she gets to the Log Roll, The Log Roll is a log that the contestant must roll down a rail. The Cannonballer has to try and hold on while it's traveling down. Amanda couldn't hold on and fell into the water.

"Well next up we have Emma." Kevin said. As Emma starts her run. Emma makes it through the Gauntlet and surprisingly the Rolling Log. She eventually makes to the Wapred Jump, half pipe like wall. The object is to climb over it. Emma makes it to the Rope Climb to Heaven. Where she has to climb a rope to the platform above. The platform almost touches the ceiling. Not looking down, Emma makes it and slams down on the button on the goal post.

"OH MY GOD! She is the first winner of Cannonball Warrior!" Kevin screams at the top of his lungs. "SHE IS THE FIRST WINNER OF CANNONBALL WARRIOR!"

"Calm down Kevin." GLaDOS said. "There is still more who have to try and win."

"You're right. It's time now for... Pikachu?" Kevin looks at the name he drew out of the hat. "Pikachu! I choose you!"

Pikachu begins his run. However it is real easy for a electrified rodent to make it across. The Wild River part was a bit of a challenge. Pikachu managed to use his ability to climb walls, to get over the wall. Pikachu then makes it across to the Rope Climb to Heaven. Being a rodent Pokemon gave him the ability to make it up the rope with no trouble. Pikachu clims the goal post and presses the button.

"Another one! Pikachu managed to make it across and made it look easy!"

Next up was Ginger. Who was knocked into the water at the Gauntlet. Garu was up next and he made it to the Rope Climb to Heaven. He couldn't get a good grip on the rope and fell into the drink after making it only a third of the way.

"Alright we have had some of the best try to win and only two have so far made it to the finish." Kevin said. "In my hand is the last name of our finalists. Welcome Captain Chaos into the final stage!"

Captain Chaos ran into the arena and started his run. He actually made it to the end. With everyone giving him a standing ovation for winning Cannonball Warrior.

"Oh my God! We saved the best for last ladies and gentlemen! Now give our winners a round of applause!"

Captain Chaos made his way down the stairs and joined Emma and Pikachu. All three took a bow. Pikachu did his bow on top of Emma's head. Emma blows the Cannonballers a kiss before going back to the back. Where they got even more applause and cheers from the Cannonballers that didn't win.

---

"It's time folks." Kevin said. "It's time to start this year's Cannonball Run. But first let's welcome the man who will start the time clock. Ladies and Gentlemen... Please welcome the President of the United States! President Harris!"

Hail to the Chief is played by Dethklok, which is a death metal version of the song. President Harris then shook hands with the Cannonball Run International Commitee, the ruling body of the Cannonball Run. Then he walked over to the podium.

"Two men walked into a bar. One of them ducked." Harris said. Everyone was silent. "Tough crowd... Well anyway... I'm here tonight to sign the final documents, to start this year's Cannonball Run."

Harris is handed the papers he needed to sign and he pulls out a pen. However this is not a writing pen, but instead is a laser pointer pen. A powerful laser pointer pen. He turns it on and the red laser beam goes off. Shreading everything that is in the way. Including a few cameras, the bottles of alcohol on the middle shelf of the bar, and finally the walls of Hanger 1.

"Sorry about that. Someone gave me the latest in laser pointers. A laser pointer that can actually cut through just about anything. Can I have a actual pen please?"

Harris is handed a real ink pen and he signs his name to the papers. Once he hands them to Blake, he is given a key to start the time clock. He waits till the CRIC insert their keys and turn them.

"Let the Cannonball begin!" Harris inserts his key and turns it. The time clock is turned on and won't begin counting till the first team clock in. "Bring in the first team!"

Dethklok begins playing Metallica's "Where Ever I May Roam." However they stop playing as the first car never came up to the starting line to clock in.

"Introducing first..." GLaDOS said. "In the Melizanno... Heather Burnside!"

"Wait! What the hell is going on!" Nathan shouted. Everyone knew what it was. The engine wouldn't start. After a few minutes, the problem was solved. The Melizanno was out of gas. In other words Danny, William and Janice did something that no one was able to detect. That is by syphoning out the gas. After a few inspection, it was reveled that four other cars had their gas syphoned. Pretty soon everything was fixed and the race was ready to start.

**Song: "Where Ever I May Roam" by Metallica**

**Sung by: Dethklok**

"Introducing first..." GLaDOS said. "In the Melizanno... Heather Burnside!"

Heather clocks in and pumps her fist into the air before speeding off.

"In the Sentinel XS... Giovanni!"

"In the Landstalker Mark II... Tim Clarks!"

"In the Hot Rod... Randell Raines!"

"In the Vegas... Marge Simpson!"

"In the Newman... Brian Griffin!"

"What you haven't seen a talking dog drive?" Brian said.

"In the Grand Valley... Link!"

"For Zelda the Whore!" Link held up a unopened beer bottle.

"In the Miyagi... Captain Chaos!"

"DUN! DUN! DUN!"

"In the Chupathingy... Donut!"

"In the Puma... Tucker!"

"Bow chicka bow wow!" Tucker shouts before clocking in.

"In the Coach... Dave!"

"In the Camper A... Griggs!"

"In the Boltus... Vincent!"

"In the Argento... Carl Johnson!"

"In the Eiswolf... Jet Black!"

"In the Journey... Grant Imahara!"

"In the Scorpion... Caboose!"

"Riding the Mongoose... Grif!"

"In the Thoroughbred... Darnell Turner!"

"In the Brooklyn... Foghorn Leghorn!"

"In the Cheetah 2... Jimbo Kern!"

"In the Vertigo... Eve!"

"In the Baron... Marcus!"

"In the Fairview... Captain Scott Mitchell!"

"In the Glendale... Robert Freeman!"

"Nobody will think old people drive too slow after today!" Robert slams down on the gas and the Glendale speeds off.

"In the Bonsai... Buckaroo Banzai!"

"In the Fury Cruizer... With the spirit of the Jaguar! Jungle Fury Blue Ranger Theo!"

"In the San Marino... Amy!"

"In the San Marino Spyder... Liz!"

"In the Zenda... Heather Morris!"

"In the Cerrano... Johnny Cage!"

"In the Patriot... Roger!"

"So I can drive. Don't act so surprised." Roger said to Stan."

"In the Walton... Marco!"

"Come get a taste of Vitamin M!"

"In the Cerva... Shao Kahn!"

"In the Prison Van... The Boogeyman!"

"In the School Bus... Alphonse Elric!"

"In the Job... Bam Margera!"

"In the Atlus... Kira Yamato!"

"In the Olympic... Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

"In the Aqua... Speedy!"

"In the La Furerza... Dr. Evil!"

"In the Rumpo... George Oscar Bluth!"

"In the MX2000... Zoe Carter!"

"In the Bootlegger... Ricky Bobby!"

"Riding the Mitsumi 1000R... Ryotaro Nogami aka Kamen Rider Den-O!"

"Henshin! SWORD FORM!" Ryotaro transformed into Den-O Sword Form. "(I... HAVE ARRIVED!)"

"Riding the Chopper... Johnny Blaze aka Ghost Rider!"

"Let's do this!" Johnny turned into Ghost Rider before speeding off into the night.

"In the Meat Wagon... Jimmy Hughes!"

"In the Spectre... Junior!"

"Bow chica honk honk!" Junior says.

"In the Quasar... Rick Thunderbolt!"

"In the Jackrabbit... Master Yo!"

"In the Kimodo... Muji!"

"This is good for Muji! HAHAHA!"

"Riding the Noodleboy... Pucca!"

"Riding the Pizzaboy... Garu!"

"Riding the Sanchez... Abyo!"

Abyo jumps into the air and tears off his kung fu shirt, before landing back on his bike and speeding off.

"Riding the Ventoso... Ching!"

"In the Negotiator... Harry Mason!"

"In the Gunslinger... Mega Man!"

"In the Compton... Sam Winchester!"

"In the NRG V8... Jan Kandou!"

"In the Rattler... Master Chief!"

"In the Nelson... Harry Potter!"

"In the Camper B... Manny Santos!"

"In the Elegant... Hiro Nakamura!"

"YATTA!"

"In the Pangea... Marcus Damon!"

"In the Keystone... Gannondorf!"

"Better late than never!" Gannondorf said.

"Well that's all of them." Kevin said. "For the Cannonball and Attack of the Show. I'm Kevin Pereira..."

"And I'm Olivia Munn..." Olivia said. "Goodnight everyone."

**Author's Comment: Next chapter will be up whenever it is done. But I'm thinking of only doing half of the teams in one chapter and the rest in the next chapter. Since I have way to many teams.**


	5. Who Let the Thing Out?

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Author's Note: The following will be added to the cast list.**

**Mitzi Martin as Nicolette Carson (original character)**

**Orlando Bloom as Omarr Hunter (original character)**

**Triple H as Paul Jansen (original character)**

**Brian Tee as Taiki Kitano (original character)**

**Marlon Wayans as Billy Watson (original character)**

**Chapter 5: Who let that Thing out?**

The Chupathingy, Mongoose, Puma, Spectre and Scorpion pulled up to what appeared to be a United States research outpost. They all get out with a storm passing through as they stand there.

"I hate the cold!" Church exclaimed.

"You're dead Church." Tucker said. "How can you feel anything?"

"You're right but the fact of the matter is that this reminds me of Sidewinder." Church said. The he heard what sounded like barking. "Did you guys hear barking?"

"Yeah." Griff said. "It sounded like sled dogs."

"They could be wolves Griff!" Sarge said. "I hope they come out and eat you."

"Remember Sarge." Griff pulls out his time card. "If I die, then our chances of winning decrease dramatically."

Sarge groans in anger. "Simmons!"

"Caboose!" Church ordered. "You and Simmons go check out the outpost and find those damn dogs!"

"Found them!" Caboose yelled. Eight Husky sled dogs tackled him to the ground and began to lick his visor. "They're so cute! Can we keep them?"

"No Caboose!" Simmons shouted. "They belong to the United States."

"How can you tell Simmons?" Sarge asked. Simmons pointed to the U.S. flag on the nearby flagpole. "Oh I see now said the blind man."

They continued their search. Soon more teams showed up and wondered what they were doing. Now the Miyagi, Walton, Patriot, Camper B and the School Bus were helping trying to check out the outpost and see if they can get any signal on the radio.

"Well the radio seems to not get any signals out." Stan said. "This weather is keeping us from trying to contact every outpost to find out where we take these dogs."

"I think we figured out where the U.S. command center is located." Captain Choas said as he placed a clipboard with radio channels on it.

"I decided to start a fire for the liite dogs to get warm." Caboosed said. "But they started acting weird and turning into some kind of monster."

"Caboose, that is bulls---!" Church said. "I'll show you it was all in your head!"

---

_"Just after the race had started, the Bluths tried to concentrate on the race. However, the hot tub's moan prevented Michael from concentrating on anything."_

The moan was heard from the hot tub again and Michael dropped the atlas. "Gob, we have to fix that pump." he said. "That moan is driving me nuts."

"Michael, I have a confession to make." said Gob as he drove. "The moan is not the pump. You can come out now!"

The hot tub's cover opened and a woman with a snorkel came out from underwater. "It's about f---ing time!" she said.

"Mom?" said Michael.

"Gangy?" said George-Michael.

"Gob, you have a change of clothes?" asked Lucille Bluth.

"In the duffel bag, mom." said Gob.

_"It then dawned on Michael that Gob's errand was helping their mother escape from jail. Who was awaiting trial for fraud."_

"You helped mom escape from prison?" yelled Michael.

"I thought it would make a great trick and all I did was pay her bail." said Gob. "Ta da!"

"Gob!" said Michael. "Mom has a trial hearing while we're racing! They're going to call a bail bondsman to get her and us!"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" asked Gob.

"I did!" said Michael. "I sent you an e-mail! Didn't you get it?"

_"Gob had gotten Michael's e-mail. However, he hadn't read it due to the sexually explicit e-mails Maeby had sent him. After reading three such e-mails, and fearing an investigation from the Magician's Alliance, Gob began deleting any e-mails from Michael's e-mail address. Unfortunately, this included several e-mails that actually were from Michael, including the news that Lucille was awaiting trial. It was then that Gob realized, albeit too late, that 'Mom's getting sprung' was not a double entendre as he had originally thought."_

"I've made a huge mistake." said Gob.

**Newport Beach, California**

Duane "Dog" Lee walks out of the courthouse with a mug shot of his latest criminal, Lucille Bluth. "Alright guys. We get to catch some Cannonballers."

Dog handed the flyer to his fellow bounty hunters: Tim Chapman, Leland Chapman and Justin Bihag. Leland gave the photo back to Dog.

"It seems this bounty is worth fifty thousand dollars and we get to chase after them in the Cannonball Run." Dog held up his hands. "But the race had already started not to long ago. So we're going to be the police this year to chase the Cannonballers. Now I don't want you guys to tell me that we can't capture them. Because we can't. We're going to try and stall them until the race is over. Then we nab Mrs. Bluth. Any questions?"

There were no questions. "Good let's go then."

---

The Polaris V8 stop at the same out as the Cannonballers. This place looks like it has been blown up and ransacked.

"About time they have arrived." said a tall muscular man, named Paul Jensen.

"I told you they'd arrive." said the leader, a female named Nicolette Carson.

The Polaris V8 passed the outpost's sign. It read: Outpost 31.

The four henchmen walked away from a '71 Plymouth Roadrunner, named the Carson Annihilator Phoenix or Annihilator Phoenix for short.

"Alright so you guys finally made it." Cruger said.

"Who are these mates?" William asked.

"Meet Carson, Jensen, Kitano and Hunter. This is my crew. Guys meet my our boss, "King" William O'Malley."

"Here is the update that you needed to know." Janice said. "The Cannonballers are racing through the Antarctic. We want you to help us stop them. No matter what. You can kill them for all I care."

"Good, I wasn't planning on leaving them alive anyway." Jensen said.

Hunter looks into the blizzard and sees what he thinks is people running for their lives and a creature of some kind. "Are those Cannonballers right there?"

Janice looks and sees the Cannonballers run right past them. "What are they running from?"

"That thing!" Carson shouts. They looked and saw a multi headed husky dog. Like something was trying to assilimate it into one dog again. Everyone made a run for the cars. Kitano jumped through the back window of the Annihilator Phoenix. The Polaris V8 and Annihilator Phoenix sped off into the antarctic. The dog monster barked and sniffed it's surroundings. Something else was coming.

A Snocat stops beside the beast. It's headlights shinning through the snowy night. A female in a black Umbrella Corporation coat, goggles, scarf and stocking cap; climbs out of the Snocat. The woman has dark red hair peeking out of her hat and glowing purple eyes.

"My ain't you a pretty beast." she said in a english accent. "I think you're perfect for my experiment. My sister will love you."

The dog barks and gets close to the female. However the woman used electrokinesis to zap the dog. The dog jumped back and whimpered. "Oh you'll do just nicely."

---

After running in the Antarctic weather for about five minutes. The Cannonballers decided to head back to their vehicles. However they saw that the monster that was chasing them was froze solid, and was being placed into a Snocat/semi truck hyrbid. Complete with a trailer that stored the monster.

"Hey that's Umbrella's logo on the side of that Snocat." Stan said. "What could they want with the Thing?"

"Knowing their track record for screwing with human life, I wouldn't be surprised if they're going to use it to assimilate Earth's population." K said.

"How can we tell we weren't assimilated?" Grif asked.

"It's simple we do a special blood test. Plus we can't be assimilated. That dog was being loaded into a truck and it was the only thing that was assimilated." K replied. "Besides we have to find some flame throwers. Heat is the Thing's only weakness."

---

The Meat Wagon was speeding along the glaciers of Antarctica. When Team DATS sped by, Greg and Jimmy watched as Damon argued with his Digimon partner Agumon.

"That's something you don't see everyday." Jimmy said. Greg nodded in agreement.

---

"This is Adam Sessler and here with me is Weird Al Yankovic." Adam Sessler said at the betting booth area. "He just placed a very special bet. Can you tell us all about it Al?"

"Sure thing Adam." Weird Al said. "I intend to sing White and Nerdy if the Bonsai, Journey and MX2000 reaches the end of Antarctica first. In no particular order I might add."

"Well let's hope they reach the ocean first. Back to you Kevin."

---

Cruger and his crew ran into the Cannonballers again. This time the two parties agreed to the blood test.

"Let's get this over with." Paul said.

"Alright, here we go." K said. He performed the blood test on everyone and they all were negative for the parasite.

"This can't be right." K said. "We're ALL negative for the parasite?"

"If we're all negative, then what do you think has happened to it?" Church asked.

Eve arrives at a Antarctic base, owned by the Umbrella Corporation. She climbs out and is met by the base's security personnel. She orders the men to take the semi truck inside the main hanger and prep it for transfer underground. Then she walked inside herself. After going underground, Eve goes into a cryogenics room. With only one cryo tube inside. Inside that tube is a girl that looks exactly like Eve. Red hair, blue eyes and probably has a English accent like her.

"I have a surprise for you sis." Eve smiles. Her smile went bye bye, when the alarms to the facility went off. "What's going on?"

"That smaple you brought here excaped ma'am!" a guard said.

"Get it back into this facility!"

"Yes ma'am!"

---

The MX2000, Journey and Bonsai reached the ocean first. Each vehicle activates either flight or boat mode before reaching the ocean. Once all three vehicles take towards the continent, Weird Al takes the stage.

"I just want to say hey thanks for helping me win my bets guys. Now here is my latest single, straight from my latest album it's White and Nerdy!" Weird Al says as the music begins.

**Song: Weird Al Yankovic - White and Nerdy**

"Looks like the Cannonball is off to a good start." GLaDOS said.

"Yes it does GLaDOS." Kevin said. "Folks keep watching this space. Because the next continent is coming up. You don't want to miss it."


	6. Return of the Thing

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Chapter 6: Return of the Thing**

"Is it ready for assimilation?" Lilith asked a scientist.

"It's ready ma'am."

"Good, now get it into the chamber before it escapes again."

The Thing was released into a chamber with a young woman. This young woman was exactly like Lilith but with blue human eyes, instead of the feline purple eyes of Lilith. The woman trembled with fear as the Thing made it's way to her. She let's out a scream. Above in the control room, Lilith smiles wickedly.

"This will be so perfect!" she declared.

---

"Well our Cannonballers are now in South America." Kevin said. "So what surprises will our racers run into? Anything."

"So stay tuned because we'll have more Cannonball Run footage for you." Olivia said.

---

"We're making great time." Theo said. As the Rangers walked through the jungles of Peru. "But why did we stop!?"

"Lil wants to eat lunch here." Casey replied.

"We're almost there guys." Lily said to the boys dismay.

They didn't see the Umbrella helicopter flying above. Which was carrying a large shipping container.

"There's the Cannonballers!" Lilith shouted. "Drop it!"

The container was lowered and finally dropped near the Fury Cruizer. The young woman named Colette walked out. She had on a black tanktop, camo pants and a wire rimmed pair of glasses. She let's out a inhuman roar before walking towards her prey. Which just happens to be the Power Rangers.

---

Lily stared at the ruins in complete marvel. Casey and Theo were finishing up their sandwiches. They had to get back to the race. However, there was a obstecle in their path, back to the Fury Cruizer. It was Colette. Who happens to arrive at the precise moment the Rangers decided to pack up and leave.

"You lost?" Casey asked. Colette just grined wickedly before spawning two more heads. The Rangers knew this was trouble. So they put on their sunglasses, Solar Morphers, and got ready to morph.

"JUNGLE BEAST! SPIRIT UNLEASHED!" the Rangers screamed in unison. All six morphed into the Jungle Fury Power Rangers. The Rangers drew their standard side arm weapons and charged at the Colette Thing.

---

The Vertigo pulled up to the Fury Cruizer and Adam noticed the container first. Investigating it. Both Adam and Eve found it empty.

"This way." Adam said. Both ran up towards the ruins. Where they heard sounds of fighting and explosions.

They found the Rangers trying to destroy the Colette Thing. Nodding to each other, Adam and Eve fired a blast of ice and fire. Creating a jet of scalding hot water at the Colette Thing. It didn't damage it, just burned it's skin and causing it to run away.

"Thanks!" Theo said, giving the two superhumans a thumbs up.

"Don't mention it!" Eve replied.

Back on the helicopter, Lilith was watching her creation's progress.

"Well you better go and pick it up." Lilith said. "We'll have to try this again."

---

**Somewhere in the United States**

Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Mike Myers (not the actor), The Creeper and Leatherface ran from the Chrysler Pacifica, called the Indiana, and headed towards a company called Global Dynamics. Within the time span of a hour, all Global personnel had run out of the company in terror. Alison Blake and Deputy Jo Lupo had to move to underground bunker, made for the owner of the company. Afterwards Mr. Bedlam and the remaining Illuminati moved into Global. Using alien soldiers called the Combine and bird like aliens in purple padded armor, called Tengas, to guard the entire place.

"Get Carter on the phone." Alison ordered.

---

The NRG V8 was stopped on the road in Chile. By Demyx and Mr. Feng of all people. Feng puts on a mask similar to Captain Chaos's. Only this mask has the symbol for anarchy on the forhead, which is a capital A inside a circle.

"(Who are you? You're so wariwari!)" Jan said as he climbed out of the van.

**Author's Note: Jan uses words called Jan Language. Even though I've watched the entire Gekiranger series, movie and the crossover with Boukenger. I still don't know the Jan Language.**

"Let me handle them first Total Anarchy." Demyx said to Mr. Feng. "Dance water dance!"

Creatures made of water formed around the Gekirangers. Who quickly transformed.

"BEAST ON!" The Gekirangers drew their special weapons and charged into battle. Ran beated her group of creatures into submission with a meteor hammer, that is called the GekiHammer. Jan used twin sabre swords, called the GekiSabres. Finally Retsu was using his warfan, called the the water creatures were dealt with, Anarchy attacked the Gekirangers. Only to be quickly thwarted by their teamwork. As well as the combined power of Gou and Ken.

"Let's get out of here!" Anarchy screamed. Both men made their hasty retreat.

---

In the MX2000...

"What happened?" Carter shouted into his cellphone. Zoe was pretty nervous. She never saw her father act like that. "Alright we'll figure something out. Just find a way out of Global."

Carter hung up his phone and turned to Henry, who was driving.

"That was Alison." he said. "Someone has just invaded Global Dynamics and chased all employees out."

"What do you think they want?"

"From what Alison told me, a base of operations."

"Seeing as they didn't take any hostages and they aren't robbing the place. That seems about right to me. Shall I call Brock and let him know?"

"Nah, I'll do it." Carter then sent a e-mail to Brock Yates.

---

"Alright thanks." Amanda hangs up the phone. Joanna was driving.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"I requested that the band plays 'Real Gone' by Sheryl Crow." Amanda replied.

Back in Antarctica, Queen Latifah and DVDA takes the stage.

"Team Girl just requested this song and here is your request Amanda!" Matt Stone said as they started playing.

Meanwhile in the Takedown, Danny and Janice were chasing after the unexpecting Grand Valley.

"We almost have them." Janice said. "What are you doing?"

"Oh I'm trying to plan for the next continent. In case we can't stop them here in South America."

"We better stop them." William said. Because I'm not accepting any failures out of you two!"

**Song: "Real Gone" by Sheryl Crow**

"Say that Dodge has been following us for a while, hasn't it?" Shadow asked Link, who was driving. Mario and Sonic were in the backseat.

"You're right." Link said. "Let's burn some dust here. Eat my rubber."

"I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust." Shadow corrected.

"Whatever Shadow."

The Grand Valley went faster, because of a bit of nitrous.

"They're on to us!" Danny said. The Polaris V8 gave chase.

"It seems Mario's team is in trouble." Andy said. He then put on the cape and mask. "Let's save them! Duh duh duh!"

The Miyagi caught up to the Polaris V8. Since Captain Chaos was in the passenger's seat, he pulled out a air gun and aimed at the tires.

"Oh he better not do it." Janice said to herself.

Captain Chaos shot the front left tire and the Miyagi passed them. The Polaris V8 spun out and went into a roll over.

"Thank you Captain Chaos!" Shadow said.

"All in a day's work citizen!" Captain Chaos replied with a smile.

---

Cameron "Cam Watanabe received the e-mail from Jack Carter and printed it for Brock. The Green Samurai Ranger of the Ninja Storm Power Rangers team, was the eyes and ears of the protectors. He walked into the office of Brock, as Brock was packing up to move to Liberty City, the finish line.

"Cam what is it?" he asked.

"Trouble in Eureka, Oregon." Cam said as he gave the e-mail to Brock. Brock sighed and laid the paper on his desk.

"This is not good." Brock said. "If they've taken over the most top secret company from the top secret scientist town, then there is going to be big time trouble."

"Your suggestion Mr. Yates?"

"Go and scout out Global Dynamics. Have your fellow Rangers to go with you. You're going to need some help locating Mrs. Blake and Deputy Lupo, after they escape."

---

"Alright we've got a interview for you right now." Kevin said. "So here now is Team Game-a-vision."

The large monitor shows the inside of the Coach, which was remodeled on the inside for long distance travel. Currently Dave is driving with Black Steve navigating. Everyone else is either sleeping or playing video games on the Coach's three main consoles.

"Oh hey what's up?" Dave said.

"How is the race going for you?" Kevin asked.

"Oh it's going great! Antarctica was kind've cold for us. As our heaters wouldn't heat the entire bus. But other than that it was awesome."

"Well nice to hear it. Anything you want to hear?"

"I would love to hear some Queen." Dave said.

"We'll get on that request." Kevin said as the feed went off.

Bloodhound Gang then took the stage. "Alright! one, two, three and four!"

**Song: "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen**

The Job, Atlus and School Bus were trying to outrun police.

"Looks like we attracted some attention Bam!" Novak said over a walkie talkie in the trailer. "What should we do? We're behind Team Alchemist and Team Destiny!"

"Novak, contact the other two teams and have them help us." Bam said in the back seat of the Job. Glomb was driving.

"Alright!" Novak called the other two vehicles and they all came up with a good idea: To use weapons to lose their pursurers. Novak and Phil armed themselves withe paintball guns, as Edward transmutated a small catapault out of the back of the School Bus. Athrun flipped a switch and used the oil slick. The police ended their pursuit and the Cannonballers were free to race again.

"Great job Novak!" Bam said. "That was one in a million!"

"Thank you Han Solo!" Novak replied.

---

The Newman was racing along. The Griffins admiring the scenery of the rainforest. Until they got a call over their radio.

"Yeah Gan there? Last name Gsta?" came Riley Freeman's voice.

"Uh is there a Gan Gsta?" Peter asked. "Anyone know a Gan Gsta?"

No laughed as it wasn't funny.

"That's not funny Riley!" Huey shouted.

"Riley!" Robert cried out.

"I don't get it." Peter said solemly.

Elsewhere is the Vegas, Bart Simpson got a funny feeling.

"I have a strange feeling that someone is trying to rip my own prank." he said.

---

"Alright here we are." Adam said as he parked the Vertigo outside a chemical factory. The factory is actually a meth chemical producing plant in Venezuela. Part of Hugo Chavez's work against the United States war on drugs. He was soon met by two motorcycles. One was driven by Lone Wolf and the other by Yuto Sakurai. Better known as Kamen Rider Zeronos. Yuto was accompanied by a gentle giant Imagin, Deneb. So far only Deneb is allowed to exsist outside the railways of time.

"This is it." Adam said. "This is where we finish that Thing off, once and for all."

"(I have a bad feeling about this Yuto.)" Deneb said.

"(Don't worry. We'll get through this Deneb.)" Yuto reassured his Imagin partner.

---

The Eiswolf and Argento were travelling along, until the Colette Thing popped out of the bushes and charged towards them.

"Is this the thing that K has warned us about?" Nico asked.

"Yeah it is." Tommy said. "Do we have a flamethrower around?"

In the Eiswolf...

"Jet, how are we going to get past this thing?" Spike asked.

"Well we don't have anything to burn it with. No flamethrowers or anything. So my guess it is to run it over." Jet replied.

The Eiswolf and the Argento sped towards Colette Thing. Both ran into it before pushing it to the road, running it over. As the two cars sped off, the Colette Thing got up with tire marks all over its body and heads.

---

"Catch up with them Pikachu!" Ash said as Pikachu drove the Sentinel XS, Ash was of course handling the brakes and gas pedals. While Pikachu was trying to drvie by operating the steering wheel. Well 'trying' is the keyword here. In fact the little electric rodent is actually clinging onto the steering wheel. Ahead of them, the Landstalker Mark II was racing along the dirt roads.

"Do I see a yellow mouse trying to drive the car behind us?" Tim asked Shayla.

"Yes it is." Shayla replied.

---

Lone Wolf and Kamen Rider Zeronos Vega Form ran inside the chemical factory.

"Is it still behind us!" Zeronos asked.

Just then the Colette Thing burst through the doors.

"Uh yes!" Lone Wolf replied.

"It's here!!!!"

Adam and Eve stood ready to detonate the explosives.

"Out the back door!!" Adam screamed. Zeronos and Lone Wolf ran out the back door. As Adam and Eve set off the explosives. Destroying the factory and setting the flamable chemicals on fire. As Eve ran out of the factory, Adam noticed one set of explosives that didn't go off. He fired a fireball at it and detonated it. With him and Colette Thing caught in the explosion.

"Did Adam make it out?" Lone Wolf asked.

"He was right behind me." Eve exclaimed. The three of them watched as Adam made his way out, looking a bit burnt and his hair a mess. Well it's not much of a mess. Since he has short hair anyway.

"For the record. We did not kill a young woman. We merely saved her soul from it's suffering. But we did kill a alien monster from God knows where and saved the world. So let's get to the next continent." Adam said before going to the Vertigo.

---

Both San Marinos, the Zenda and Cerrano were trying to overtake each other. Neither vehicle wants to be last. Eventually the Baron pulled ahead of the pack. Squeak's rear end sticking out the back window, for to see.

"Sayanora losers" cried Cooper, who stuck his head out of the sun roof. The Baron continues to speed away, as Team Beers laughed.

"If I ever see that naked ass again." Luca 'said' through special equipment in the San Marino. The cat is able to project it's thoughts into sound equipment, in order to communicate. "I'm going to enjoy scratching it with my claws."

"Luca!" cried Amy.

---

The Nelson sped down the dirt roads of Brazil. Not far behind them were Draco Malfoy and his posse of bullies.

"Crikey!" Ron said. "I never knew magic broomsticks can fly that fast!"

"Fasten you seatbelt Ron." Hermione said. "This is going to fast."

She cast a magic spell to make the Nelson go even faster and hovering six inches of the ground. Harry and Ron were being pushed againt their seats by the incredible g-force. The Nelson left the group in the dust and sped past a cop with a radar gun. Once he looked at the radar gun in shock, he took out a bottle of tequila and poured it out of the window.

---

"The Cannonballers have reached Mexico by now and are heading their way into the U.S." said Kevin over the radio. Lilith didn't listen any further. She disabled the radio for good with a good bolt of electricity from her fingers.

"I can't believe those Cannonballers defeated my creation! And they killed the woman that I was cloned from too! Those bloody gits will soon feel the wrath of Lilith!"

"Ah ma'am." said a Umbrella soldier. "Bad news... the Umbrella Corporation has been shut down as of right now. A company called TriCell has takien over research on our viruses."

"AAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

**Song: "Burning Wheels" by Saxon**

**Author's Note: One more chapter and I've included all of the teams.**


	7. I Heart North America

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Chapter 7: I Heart North America**

In Eureka, Tanner was ordered to wait for the Ninja Storm Rangers. He saw a tractor trailer with the Power Rangers lightning bolt on the side. When it stopped Waldo "Dustin" Brooks (yellow ranger), Shane Clarke (red ranger) and Tori Hanson (blue ranger) climbed out with Cam. The four Rangers were dressed in their vinyl ninja suits. Each with colored trim that represents their color designations.

"Mr. Yates said you'd be here." Tanner said. He stuck his hand, to which the Rangers shook it. "The name's Tanner. I won't let me keep you from your business. So I'll be over at the local bed and breakfast if you need me. I'll also monitor your progress, if you don't mind."

"Of course we don't Tanner." Shane said. "We're just glad we've got another one of the protectors helping us.

---

The Annihilator Phoenix was chasing down the Mitsumi 1000R, while being chased by the local police department.

"Lose them Paul!" Nicolette shouted. Paul then pulled and the Annihilator Phoenix hit a small hill of grass. Finally crashing right into a bank. All squad cars stop chasing the Annihilator Phoenix.

"GET THE F--- OUT OF THE CAR ASSHOLES!" shouted the police officer.

"I think I just pooped my pants!" Watson exclaimed to disgusted police officers.

"(Nothing can stop me!)" Momotaros shouted as he controled Ryotaros. With that he was gone.

---

"This is America! Land of the free!" Ricky Bobby said as the Bootlegger raced towards Ohio.

"Soon we'll be in California, before you know it." Cal said.

"California sucks." Ricky added.

---

Xemnas and Kadaj waited inside a small recently built fast food drive-thru.

"What's the plan?" Kadaj asked.

"When the Cannonballers stop to get food." Xemnas replied. "We'll just spike their food in a effort to stop or slow them down."

"Genius!"

However the Five-O, a police car, appeared with English police officers Danny Butterman and Nicholas Angel.

"Yes we would like two hamburgers with everything and two large chocolate shakes please!" Nicholas said into the intercom.

"I got a idea!" Xemnas said, as he started cooking the burgers and putting marijuana on them.

---

Soon Nicholas and Danny were stoned from the weed on their burgers.

"Look at that!" Danny points in front of him. Standing there was a dancing burger.

"I'm a burger. I'm a burger. Come with me, we're going to fly. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. Guess what, we're going to get high!"

"That is the funniest thing I ever saw!" Nicholas said.

---

**Song: "Lights and Sounds" by Yellowcard**

The Noodleboy, Pizzaboy, Sanchez and Ventoso arrived in Hawaii. They quickly drove through a abadoned town, just as a typhoon was nearing the islands.

"Hey isn't that the Kimodo?" Ching asked Abyo, who looked at the car ahead of them. It is the Kimodo.

"Let's get ahead of them." Abyo said and the other three agreed. All four bikes sped towards the Kimodo.

"Enemy Cannonballers coming up." Ninja 1 said as he stared at the radar in the back seat. Tobe saw the four bikes in the rearview mirror.

"So..." before Tobe could even finish his sentence, all four bikes sped past the Kimodo. "Drats!"

Tobe slammed on the gas pedal.

The Scorpion slowed down a bit, so Caboose can take in the sights of Hawaii.

"Wow Sheila, the city is very beautiful at night." Caboose said.

"I agree with you Caboose." Sheila replied. "It's so romantic. I just wish Lopaz was here."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing!"

---

Somewhere in Texas, the La Furerza was driving down the road though Texas. Until they stopped at a red light. While listening to Radio Broker over satellite radio. Radio Broker is broadcast nationally over regular radio and satellite radio. Just about every radio station from Liberty City does the same thing. A Mazda RX-7 pulled up to them. Then the Olympic and the Aqua pulled up on the otherside.

"I think they all want to race Evil." Dylan said.

"Well let's give them what they want!" replied Dr. Evil.

"This is just in from a Cannonballer." said the DJ. "Given it to you Cannonballers. Here is Bowling for Soup's 'Ohio (Come Back to Texas)'."

Just as the song began the traffic light turned green. Causing all four vehicles to begin their race.

**Song: "Ohio (Come Back to Texas)" by Bowling For Soup**

Randy is driving the Thoroughbred, while Darnell and Earl were asleep. Soon the four racers passed the Thoroughbred at high speeds. Scaring Randy and causing him to scream.

"What Randy?" Earl said before going back to sleep.

The RX-7 pulled ahead and won the little street race.

"DAMNIT!" shouted Stone Cold as he drove the Olympic. Just then the driver of the RX-7 said something on the phone.

"Next time you challenge me, better be well prepared."

---

The Compton passed the Jackrabbit. In retaliation, Yin fires a Woo Fu Tornado.

"Woo Fu Tornado!" she cries out. A mystical tornado of blue energy, flies at the Compton, catches it and tosses it to the side of the road. The Jackrabbit pulls ahead.

"What the hell was that!" Dean shouted.

---

The Puma is driving past Napa Valley while listening to the Cannonball Run station.

"They've been playing some good songs." Tucker said with Tex driving.

"I know." Tex said. Just then a song request comes on the air from the Red Team.

"Can we listen to 'Rock You Like A Hurricane' by The Scorpions?" asked Sarge.

"You got it." Adam Sessler said. "Any reason why?"

"No reason in particular."

"You got it. Here is 'Rock You Like A Hurricane'. On the official Cannonball Run station of the Cannonball Run."

"Tucker, where is the Red Team?" Tex asked as Tucker located the Sabretooth and the Mongoose.

"They're in Hawaii right now."

"Isn't Typhoon Angel rampaging through Hawaii?" Church asked.

"Yep." It took them a few seconds before they burst into laughter.

**"Rock You Like a Hurricane" by Scorpion**

The Mongoose and Chupathingy were driving through Hawaii. While a tropical storm is passing through. Rain is falling sideways because of the high winds. Simmions turns to Grif and starts to mock him.

"Here's an idea." Simmons said mockingly to Grif. "Let's get to Hawaii quickly! So we can beat the others to the bridge. Great plan you idiot!"

However Typhoon Angel became a Category 3 and it's becoming incresingly difficult see, let alone drive.

"It's raining sideways!" Grif shouts.

"We have to stop and find shelter Sarge!" Simmons shouted. "If we don't then we'll be in the ocean!"

"You're right Simmons!" Sarge said. "Grif you can just keep driving! In hopes you get blown into the ocean! Grif!?"

The Mongoose is already being blown towards the ocean. Grif has the Mongoose running at full speed to get back with the others.

"Here's a idea!" Sarge said. "We'll Grif here to fend for himself! Then we hide under a bridge!"

"Bad idea Sarge!" Donut said. "We need him to beat the Blues!"

Sarge curses himself and comes up with a better solution. "Alright! Donut, you and Simmons get out and tie the cable around the Mongoose and pull it up!"

"It could work sir!" Simmons said as he and Donut got started. They ran up to the Mongoose and wrapped the towing cable around the handle bars.

"Alright Sarge!" Donut shouted. "Do it!"

Sarge put the Chupathingy into reverse and eventually... the handle bars broke off.

"SHIT!" Simmons shouted. The Mongoose, as well as Grif were blow into the ocean. Grif screaming as he lands into the shallow part of the ocean.

"Help me! I can't swim in this armor!" he screamed.

"Grif! Stand up!" Simmons shouted and Grif stood up into leg deep water.

"My bad!"

---

"Folks there is a problem." Kevin said. "Due to Typhoon Angel, all Cannonballs have to meet in Hawaii and wait it out for a day. Maybe you guys can help with the rebuilding or healing process for the people that has lost their homes. I just got a call from the Weather Channel. It seems Typhoon Angel is a Category 3 Typhoon. This is not good folks. So once the storm blows over or at least the eye passes. Just help the people of Hawaii out for a day."

---

Another Cannonball team arrived at the fast food restaurant. This time it was the Gunslinger and Team Capcom. However there was one problem...

"We're out of weed?" Kadaj asked. "How are we going to get some more to spike their food?"

"I've got just the thing." Xemnas pulled out a bag of mushrooms. "We'll add these to the burgers."

"Are those magic mushrooms?"

"Yes they are." Xemnas said with a smile.

As soon as the Gunslinger left, the Cerva pulled in.

---

Chris Redfield took a bite of the burger. He chewed a few seconds before he spit it out the passenger's side window. Dante, Ryu and Mega Man did the same thing.

"What did they put in this burger?" Chris asked. He looked at the mushrooms and knew his answer. "Some of a bitch! These are magic mushrooms!"

"And only you would know." Dante said. "Who would put shrooms on our burgers?"

Mega Man spoke up. "Maybe someone who wants to stall our progress?"

"Whatever the case we have to warn the other Cannonballers of that place." Ryu said.

"Already on it Ryu." Chris got on the laptop and sent instant messages to the other Cannonballers. Warning them to stay away of Xemnas' trap.

In the Negotiator...

"Should we do something about this?" Otacon asked Liquid.

"No they're fine." Liquid replied.

In the Camper A...

Sam was already replying to Chris Redfield.

**We would love to help you, but you are too late for Wade and Team Deception.**

Sam looked out the window to watch a very stoned Wade and Team Deception.

In the Elegant...

"Being stoned out of your mind is a terrible thing." House said aloud. "Trust me I've seen it happen on more than one occasion and it's never pretty."

In the Rattler...

"We better help them." Arbiter said. "They are Cannonballers and they'll need our help to destroy this evil."

In the Keystone...

Gannondorf replied with a yes to Team Capcom.

Team Capcom waited for the others to arrive. In total, most of the other teams in the area chose to help. The only ones that chose not to were Team Konami and Team ECW. They chose to not help. As they waited, the Quasar, Chopper, Fairview, Cheetah 2, Hot Rod, Boltus and the Brooklyn arrived. Once all of the helping teams arrived Chris briefed them on the situation. Kadaj looked nervously out the dining room windows.

"I don't like this..." he said.

"What is going out there anyway?" Xemnas' look was priceless. "Oh crap..."

Both got out of the way in time for Ryu's Hadouken to go flying through the window and the entire restaurant. The two looked up and saw the Cannonballers rushing towards them. Kadaj jumped into Xemnas' arms, as both screamed like little girls.

---

The Prison Van was being followed. By a Dodge Sprinter delivery van, called the Sprinter. Inside the Sprinter is Watson and Hunter. Who had Cruger post bail for them. However they two didn't notice the tanks of flammable gas in the back. They thought they were oxygen tanks. As they were chasing the Prison Van...

"I'm going to have a cigarette, want one?" Watson asked.

"Nah I'm good." Hunter replied.

Watson puts a cigarette in his mouth and tries to ignite his lighter. A camera on a light pole caught it all. First it recorded the Prison Van going past the speed limit, then saw the Sprinter going past at the same speed. Just as the Sprinter was half way out of the camera's sight. The Sprinter exploded, destroying the van completely. Hunter and Watson were fine, just a little singed from the explosion. Watson shuts off the lighter and throws his destroyed cigarette out the window. Then he laughed to himself and said. "Oops!"

---

"Well see you in Austrailia Cannonball fans!" Kevin said.

"In news of any attacks on the Cannonballers.." Olivia said. "There was one attack on a team that went awry. We don't have all of the details yet but these two..."

Image of Xemnas and Kadaj laying on the ground completely dazed, confused and beat up was shown. "...Were found on the road. Sources tell us that they must've tried to kill the Cannonballers but their plan backfired big time. We'll continue to bring you our coverage of the Cannonball Run when the Cannonballers arrive in Austrailia."


	8. Who Stole the Money?

**Author's Note: No doubt you've heard that Dom DeLuise has passed away. Instead of removing him from this fic, I'm going to use him for the rest of it. As a tribute to him. R.I.P. Dom... We'll miss ya.**

**I also have had Turbo Man help with this chapter. Thanks man. I appreaciate the help on this chapter.**

**Austrailia: Who stole the money?**

"What the bloody hell do you mean you blew up the Sprinter!?" William shouted in the cell phone. Appearently Watson told William everything about the Sprinter's destruction. "Well you bloody better find some other way to Austrailia! Or you're both FIRED!"

"It's okay William." Tong Po said. It was clear the Takedown arrived in Eureka. "I've got just the people to take care of the Cannonballers."

Outside Dustin and Tori watched as the Indiana left Global. Meanwhile Deputy Lupo and Allison got out via underground tunnel and have started to tell what happened to Tanner.

"Looks like we have trouble." Dustin said.

---

Dog the Bounty Hunter has reached Austrailia via cargo plane. Their vehicle is a Ford Explorer called the Nordberg. They have left the airport and saw the Rumpo speeding away.

"That's her car!" Dog said. "Follow that van!"

The Nordberg gave chase to the Rumpo, Lucille Bluth was behind the wheel.

_"Lucille knew that bounty hunters were after her." said the Narrator. "But she never knew they followed her all the way to Austrailia."_

"How the hell did they find me!" she said aloud.

"Something wrong mom?" Gob asked.

"That bounty hunter from that TV show is right behind us."

"Go faster mom! Use that nitrous system I installed!"

Lucille hit the red button and the Rumpo shot away. Leaving Dog and his team bewildered.

"What the hell!" Dog shouted as he lit a cigarette.

---

"The Cannonballers have reached the continent of Austrailia." Damian said from his little Halo world, on the TV. "Let's hope there is not a repeat of two years ago."

"We hope not either Damian." GLaDOS said. "But we have a bet going on with two bands."

Down in the betting room is Kevin with Gorillaz and Bloodhound Gang.

"So tell me a bit about this bet. Is it the same kind of bet from last year's Cannonball? Will the winner of this bet sing a song of their choice?"

"Exactly Kevin. If the Job makes it to Asia first then Bloodhound Gang plays 'Down Under' by Men At Work. If the Landstalker Mark II wins then Gorillaz gets to play."

"Well good luck fellas and here some music for everyone out there."

**Song: "Running in the 90's" by Max Coveri**

In the Landstalker Mark II...

Gin is driving while happily humming to a Gorillaz song on her iPod.

"You're the one who put Gorillaz up to the bet, didn't you?" Tim asked to a ignoring Gin.

---

Lilith walked off the helicopter, at TriCell's Africa branch. She went to the CEO's office. She wanted to see Lilith and discuss a business proposal.

"No doubt you've heard the shutdown of WilPharma Lilith?" the CEO asked.

"Yes but what does this have to do with me and the Umbrella Corporation?"

"Well we managed to retrieve several virus samples inside WilPharma's Havardville branch. Including the G-Virus."

"You did?"

"Yes. Now I want you in the country of Mali, to meet with General Kazim. He's expecting you over there."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch. He's been wanting to stop the Cannonball Run for some time now. He even used the samples we gave him on his own people. So now the citizens of Mali are infected."

Lilith smiled wickedly. "Sounds like we have a deal..."

---

The Newman pulls into a gas station. While Homer was filling up the Vegas.

"Hey Homer." Peter said. "So how has the race been going for you?"

"Pretty good. We're hoping to win it again this year." Homer replied. "Despite Captain Chaos being the favored to win."

Inside the store Brian and Stewie were looking for snacks. Outside the Mitsumi 1000R pulled in. Ryotaro climbed off and walked inside for something to drink. When a black man pulled a ski mask over his face. The strange thing about this is the fact the guy put it on backwards. So he couldn't see a thing. He tried to walk to the cashier, but trying is the keyword here. He kept falling into shelves, until he finally righted his mask. By this time though the clerk pressed the silent alarm and was waiting for the police. Meanwhile Momotaros jumped into Ryotaro's body and walked up to the robber.

"(I have arrived!) he said.

The ending result was that Brian and Stewie opened the doors for Ryotaro/Momotaros. Who in turn threw the man outside and in front of the awaiting police cruiser.

"Hello mate." said the sergeant. "Looks like you're up to your old tricks. You're coming with us mate."

"Bugger!" said the robber.

---

"Thanks so much for coming to save me during that typhoon." Grif said sarcastically.

"Oh you're welcome good buddy." Simmons said with equal sarcasism.

"Well we need to know if we're going to beat those Blues." Sarge said.

"Let's just travel through the outback and reach Sydney." Donut suggested. "That sounds like a good idea."

"You're right Donut." Sarge said. "Let's go!"

The Mongoose and Chupathingy drove through the outback. While the Blues looked on.

"Man I can't believe they're that stupid." Church said. "Well let's follow them and make sure they don't notice us."

The Blues failed to notice the Rattler following them.

"All to easy, right Chief?" Cortana said.

"All to easy." Master Chief replied.

---

"We can't those Digimon twerps beat us Meowth!" James said as Meowth was driving and he was working the gas pedal.

"Don't tell me we're losing!" Meowth cried back. "You're the one operating the gas and brake pedals! So go faster!"

"I'm pushing the pedal to the floor already!"

In the Pangea, Agumon was being taught to drive my Marcus, who of course was operating the gas pedal.

"You're doing great Agumon!" Marcus said.

"I hope so boss." Agumon replied. "I don't want those Team Rocket losers to get ahead of us."

---

Brian stood next to Jet as they stopped at the gas station for gas.

"Then Ryotaro changed his hairstyle and personality. And threw the robber out of the gas station." Brian said.

"Well I hear Ryotaro is a Kamen Rider." Jet replied to the Griffin's family dog. "From what I hear they are mostly solo, secret super heroes in Japan. So him changing personalities on the fly isn't something that's surprising to me. But it is funny to hear the robber putting his ski mask on backwards."

They both laughed.

---

"We've got a package!" Ol' Skool announced to Dojo Delivery Service, his couier company.

"This must get to Liberty City right away. It's the prize money and it must never get stolen."

"Don't worry about it Ol' Skool. We'll make sure the money doesn't get stolen."

"I'm counting on you guys."

Ed, Burn, Deets, Fizz and Loogie left on their respective vehicles.

---

Carson, Jansen and Kitano pulled out of the airport on their motorcycles. Carson drove a custom chopper called the Hexer, Jansen drove a sports bike called the Double T, and Kitano drove a sports bike called the Hakuchou.

"So Hunter and Watson will meet us in the next continent?" Kitano asked.

"Yes they got their own motorcycles and said they'll wait in the next continent for us." Carson said.

"Okay, then. Let's go kick some ass." Said Jansen

---

The Melizzanno had been pulled over by a local cop.

"Okay, girls. You know what to do." Said Lara.

"Alright." Sighed Amanda.

All four girls partially unzipped their jumpsuits to reveal some cleavage.

The officer came to the window and looked in at Heather, who was driving.

"Hey!" he said, smiling. "You're Heather Burnside! I'm a big fan of yours. I've got that DVD that was released last year of all your best matches."

Heather was a bit surprised. "Seriously?" she asked.

"Yeah!" the officer said. "Can I please get your autograph?".

"Um, okay." Said Heather as she climbed out of the car. She reached into her suit and took out a pen.

"So, does this mean we don't get a ticket?" asked Natasha.

The officer's jaw dropped again when he noticed her.

"Natasha Martin!" he said. "My kids love your band. Isn't that movie you're starring in due out soon?".

Natasha said "I'm not sure. We ran into a bit of trouble with the Writer's strike."

"Well, you can count on my family going to see it when it comes out." The officer beamed as Heather signed an autograph on his ticket book for him.

"So, are you going to write us up for speeding?" asked Amanda.

"Hey, with the whole continent seemingly packed with roadhogs and speedfreaks, I think I can afford to let one go.." smirked the officer. "Just take it easy. And come back and see us next year if you can.".

"You can count on it." Smiled Lara as she blew the officer a kiss.

The officer returned to his car and Heather climbed back into the Melizanno.

"He didn't even notice, did he?" asked Amanda as the four girls zipped their suits up.

"Well, who cares. We got off." Said Natasha.

"Right. Let's go." Said Lara.

---

Carson, Jansen and Kitano were now in pursuit of the Thoroughbred.

"These guys aren't letting up at all. " said Randy.

"Surely these fellas realise that attacking innocent people ain't a good way to get good karma." Said Earl as he drove.

"You really think karma's gonna get 'em?" asked Darnell.

At that point, a truck pulled into their path. Earl swerved the Thoroughbred around it and was able to avoid a crash.

Kitano couldn't stop in time, so he swerved violently and ran off the road, going down an embankment and wrecking the Hakuchou.

Carson and Jansen still kept up their pursuit of the Thoroughbred.

As Carson moved ahead, she pulled alongside the Thoroughbred and got ready to pull out a gun.

She failed to notice two men carrying a long piece of wood out of a side alley and she ran into it. The wood had knocked her off the Hexer, which ran on and crashed into a wall.

Darnell laughed. "Karma is sure hittin' 'em hard, Earl."

"I wonder if these guys would be interested in turnin' over a new leaf." Said Earl.

Jansen kept up his pursuit.

"Okay, punks. You're not losing me.". he said to himself.

Up ahead, the Thoroughbred slipped a little, but Earl brought it back under control.

"Whoa! What was that?" asked Randy.

"Must be ice on the road." Said Earl. "I hope that wrestler-looking guy sees that, or he won't be 'that damn good' for very long."

Sure enough, Jansen didn't see the ice and slipped on it. The Double T went flying off the road and crashed into a tree. Jansen himself ended up hanging on to a high branch on the tree.

"I hate this job!" He grumbled to himself.

---

Elsewhere Draco Malfoy and his team were having a meeting. They had received a message from Umbridge. It was in a red envelope.

"Oh great! A howler!" said Pansy Parkinson glumly.

"Come on. She trusts us. What's the worst she could say?" asked Malfoy as he opened it.

The magical letter immediately started yelling in Umbridge's voice.

"I ASSIGNED THE TASK OF STOPPING MR. POTTER TO YOU, MR. MALFOY, BECAUSE I EXPECTED YOU COULD HANDLE IT! BUT ALL I'VE RECEIVED SO FAR ARE YOUR WEAK-KNEED EXCUSES! I WARN YOU, IF YOU DON'T STOP POTTER FROM FINISHING THIS INFERNAL RACE, ALL OF YOU WILL BE GIVEN 100 LINES WITH BLOOD QUILLS! AND YOU KNOW I DON'T MAKE IDLE THREATS! NOW GET GOING!"

After a brief pause, Malfoy and his team all gulped.

"Alright. I think we should double our efforts." Said Malfoy in a rather choked voice.

---

The Miyagi was speeding down the road, with Andy at the wheel, wearing the Captain Chaos mask.

"Just keep it up, Captain. You're doing great!" said Belle.

Behind them, the Takedown appeared. William, Janice and Danny were all riding in it with Danny at the wheel.

"That's that masked moron Captain Chaos. " said Janice. "I think we should give him a few doubts about his so-called invincibility."

"Right!" said Danny as he poured on the speed.

Andy noticed the Dodge 4X4 in his rear view and said "I see a threat, and they will eat my dust!" He poured on the speed.

Nearby, Randy Daytona, wearing the Fury mask was driving the Bootlegger.

In pursuit of them was Mr. Feng, driving a red Ferrari Daytona Spyder called the Stinger.

"You will not escape, Captain Fury!" Feng yelled. "The power of Total Anarchy will bring you to your knees."

"He's still on us, Captain." Said Ricky. "Are you gonna give him what for?"

"I will indeed, as he is the evil force who took my father from me." Said Captain Fury.

As both cars sped on, a police car parked by the side of the road noticed them and got ready to give chase.

Feng saw this and reached out his hand. Suddenly, a streetlight came crashing down on the hood of the police car, wrecking the engine.

"I will not allow interruptions.". sneered Feng.

Cal and Ricky had noticed this.

"That must be some new power Total Anarchy has." Said Cal.

"Don't worry, my friends. I sense Captain Chaos is near." Said Randy. "The combined forces of Chaos and Fury will match those of Total Anarchy."

The Takedown was rapidly gaining ground on the Miyagi as Captain Chaos kept pouring on the speed.

"Come on, Captain. Tear these fools a new asshole!" said Belle.

The Four vehicles were rapidly approaching each other at a crossroads. Feng and Danny were so focused on the Bootlegger and the Miyagi that they couldn't see each others' vehicles coming.

At the last minute, Captains Chaos and Fury swerved off to the left and right sides, leaving the Stinger and the Takedown on a collision course with each other.

"SHIT!" yelled Danny.

The two vehicles crashed into each other. Both cars were badly damaged but the occupants had survived.

Randy picked up the CB in the Bootlegger and said "Well done, Captain!"

Andy replied "Well done to you too, fellow Captain."

The occupants of the Stinger and the Takedown pulled their heads from the deflating airbags.

William looked really annoyed.

"Feng? Danny?" he said. "Next time, I drive BOTH cars!"

---

"I've had a report that the prize money is being moved to Liberty City right now." Lone Wolf said to Tanner. "Ol' Skool put his best people in charge of that."

"Right." Said Tanner. "I'm sure will be glad to hear that. The Cannonballers are nearly all the way through Australia right now. They can rest easy knowing that the prize money is safe."

On the stage, Dethklok were getting set up to play.

"Okay." Announced GLaDOS. " Here are Dethklok with a song named after their favourite game series. Take it away, guys."

**Song: 'Need For Speed' by Saxon**

---

The Patriot was going up against the Cheetah 2, and winning.

"You guys would do a lot better if you didn't have such a disgusting fat-ass on your team." Sneered Stan, referring to Cartman.

"HEY!" yelled Cartman. "I'm not fat! I'm big boned!"

"You're big-assed, kid!" said Stan. "Dinosaurs are big-boned!"

"Son of a bitch! I'll make you respect my authoritah!" yelled Cartman as he suddenly grabbedthe Cheetah 2's steering wheel and shoved the Patriot hard, nearly making it crash through a billboard.

J, K and Roger all glared at Stan as the Cheetah 2 sped on.

"Do you know that you suffer from diarrhea of the mouth, Stan?" asked J.

---

The Prison Van was catching up with the Olympic.

"Watch out, Austin!" sneered the Boogeyman. "I'm the Boogeyman and I'm comin' to get ya!"

Cena was driving the Olympic. "There's no way that freak show reject is going to beat us to Sydney!" he yelled.

"Well you better make sure he doesn't or there's gonna be trouble. And THAT's the bottom line!" replied Stone Cold.

"I hate to admit it, but I actually like the Boogeyman, apart from one thing." Said Tony.

"Let me guess. The worms thing, right?" asked Cena.

"Right on." Replied Tony.

The Prison Van got alongside the Olympic and the Boogeyman took out a handful of live worms and lowered the driver side window.

"IS that really necessary?" asked a disgusted C.M. Punk.

"Why? You want 'em?" asked Boogeyman.

"NO!" Everyone else in the Prison Van chorused.

Boogeyman turned back to face the window, preparing to throw the worms at the Olympic. He got a shock when he saw Nemesis leaning out the window of the Olympic. Nemesis let out a huge roar right into Boogeyman's face. Boogeyman got scared and dropped the worms.

The other ECW guys yelped in disgust.

"Stop the van! We're not going any further 'til we get those slimy things out of here!" yelled Stevie Richards.

The Prison Van came to a halt so Team ECW could sort out their problems. The Olympic left them in the dust.

"Well done, old buddy!" said Stone Cold as he high-fived Nemesis.

"SSStarrrsss!" replied Nemesis.

---

The Aqua was speeding down a street in Sydney, heading for the bridge to the next continent.

As he drove, Speedy smiled at a line of female Cannonball fans who were cheering them on.

"Hey, Kyle. Can we stop so I can get better acquainted with some of these lovely ladies?" he asked.

"Are you crazy?" asked Kyle. "We're in the top four right now. We have to get to the bridge fast!".

"That's not set in stone, is it?" asked Speedy.

"Look, bro." Said T-Bone. "The rate we're going at, we have a good shot at winning this race right now, which means we will get that 400 million. You want that, don't you?".

"Hell yeah!" replied Speedy.

"Then you gotta ask yourself." Said Andre. "Who do you wanna be? The great lover or the great driver? Mario Andretti or Casanova?".

Speedy thought about it for a minute. As he did, the Aqua team failed to notice the Bonsai coming up behind them.

"Okay? You ready, Tommy?" asked Buckaroo.

"Yeah. But this is unusually mean for you, Buckaroo." Said Perfect Tommy.

"Yeah, but it's funny." Replied Buckaroo.

In the Aqua, Speedy reached his decision. "I wanna be Mario Andretti.".

"Then put your foot down, Mario Andretti!" said Kyle.

The Aqua sped up. In the Bonsai, Buckaroo yelled "NOW!"

Tommy activated the Roar Horn and suddenly, the Aqua was hit by its' blast and blown out of the Bonsai's way.

"Shit!" Yelled Kyle as Team Banzai sped past them.

"You see what happens when you get distracted!" yelled Andre as he hit Speedy on the shoulder.

---

Ed and the others were still delivering the prize money to Liberty City. However international thief, Carmen Sandiago was flying a helicopter. With a claw attached to wire. The helicopter flew above the drop jockeys and the claw was dropped. It's aim was perfect and Carmen hoisted up the claw with the package.

"Hey!" Ed said. They all stopped and watched the helicopter fly into the horizon.

Fizz says "Ol'Skool is not going to like this!"

---

The Boltus and the Nelson were both approaching Sydney.

"That little wizard creep won't beat me!" said Yuffie as she drove the Boltus.

"Hey, Yuffie. Don't be so narrow-minded. We use magic too." Replied Vincent.

"Punch it, Harry!" said Ginny.

"I am!" said Harry. "I think I'm doing very well considering I never drove before."

Draco and his gang were flying up behind the two vehicles on their broomsticks once again.

"This time, we nail them!" yelled Draco.

Barret looked back and noticed the approaching broomsticks.

"Incoming threat." He said. "You wanna deal with 'em, Cloud?"

"Sure thing." Said Cloud as he absorbed an Ice material orb into his skin.

As Draco's gang approached, Cloud stretched out his hand and said "Ice3!".

At that, all of Draco's gang were suddenly frozen solid in mid-air.

Team Hogwarts noticed this.

"As much as I dislike Malfoy, I hope that spell won't keep them frozen for long." Said Hermione.

"Relax. I'm sure Malfoy will thaw out. But we'll be far away by then." Smirked Ron.

---

The Argento drove at high speeds through Sydney. Woozie was at the wheel.

"You're doing very well, considering your disadvantage, Woozie." Said Niko. "NO offence intended.".

"None taken. It's just a question of intense training." Replied Woozie.

"Hey, careful! You're drifting over a bit." Said Tommy as Woozie brushed the Argento against another vehicle beside them.

"HEY!" yelled the other driver "What's your problem, mate? Are you blind?".

Woozie smirked and said "Yeah, What's your excuse?".

"Holy S---!" the other driver yelled as he realised that Woozie was indeed blind.

"Okay, Wooz! Let's make tracks!" said C.J. as Wozzie drove on.

---

Draco and his gang finally thawed out, and continued his search for the Nelson. However they found the same color, make and model of the Nelson driving on the road.

"Avada Kedavra!" Draco shouts and knocks off the back left tire of the car. They all landed and Draco held out his wand.

"Come out Potter and we'll go easy on you!" Draco's grin disappeared, when a Night Elf/demon got out of the driver's seat. Soon he was followed by a Blood Elf and two Eredar.

"Hey Illidan!" said the Blood Elf. "That teenage wizard just destroyed your brand new car!"

"Noted Kael'thas!" Illidan Stormrage said. "Let's see how they handle the TRUE Dark Arts!"

Illidan charges several Shadow Bolt spells and fires them at Draco and his gang. Who all scream before they are sent flying to who knows where.

Meanwhile Jack Carter watched the whole scene from a gas station with binoculars.

"That's not good..." Carter told Henry. "Looks like some kids on flying brooms are after us."

"Not surprisingly Jack. UK's Ministry of Magic keeps itself top secret through charms and spells. The United States Department of Magic works differently however. They're actually trying to get Global Dynamics to work with college graduate wizards and witches to create new defense projects. Against foreign countries and dark arts users. In fact the Department of Magic is thinking about revealing magical world to muggle Americans."

"But why the big secrecy Henry?" Carter asked. "Doesn't everyone know that the witch hunts are over?"

"It's not that Jack. People fear what they don't understand and they'll fear magic users. They also fear that wizards and witches will commit crimes with their powerful magic."

"Well I can understand that. But people can't be afraid forever. Look how people are responding to UFOs."

---

"Alright we're going to look on the checkpoint to the next continent." Kevin said. "So here we go."

Camera footage showed the first vehicle to arrive. It was the Keystone.

"The Keystone is the first to cross reach the passage to Asia!" Kevin said. "Who's next?"

Another vehicle was heading towards the checkpoint. Before transforming into a hovercraft. It was the Negotiator.

"Negotiator everybody! And look! We have two vehicles fighting for third place!"

The Landstalker Mk II and the Job were trying to pass each other. Both neck and neck. Eventually, both became a speed boat and a submarine respectively.

"Can we take a look to who has won?" Kevin asked and was shown the photo finish. It was actually both that crossed the checkpoint. "Well looks like both bands won the bet. So let's have them both take the stage please?"

Gorillaz and Bloodhound Gang to the stage and started to play.

**Song: "Down Under" by Men At Work**

"Well see you all later." Kevin said. "Goodnight world!"

---

Draco and his gang were blown straight to the Great Barrier Reef. Where they sat on their brooms. As shark fins swam under them.

"Well this is a dandy spot that we're in." Crabbe said.


	9. Don't Stop Us Now Part 1

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Author's Note: Expect appearences of Shin-Goji and Space Hojo of Twisted Kaiju Theater, and the Flaming Dragon Gang from Tropic Thunder.**

**Asia/Russia: Don't Stop Us Now!**

News of the money has already reached the Cannonballers. All have stopped the race on the border of Japan.

"Great the money's gone." House said to Emma Nelson. "I guess this race is over."

"Are you always this pessimestic and apathetic?" she replied.

"Yes!"

Meanwhile by the NRG V8, Jan was letting out his frustrations.

"(This whole situation is wakiwaki!)"

"How can anybody understand that kid?" Dante asked Ryu.

At the Scorpion, Caboose considered continuing the race.

"I don't know what to do Sheila." he said. "The money is gone and the race is over. But I had so much fun seeing the world. Why should I stop now?"

"If you loved to race so much. Why not continue to race?" Sheila replied.

"Thank you Sheila. That is a wonderful idea." Caboose started up the Scorpion and drove towards Tokyo, Japan. Much to the confusion of everyone else.

"Where is he going?" Memphis asked.

"He's continuing the race." Jesse James replied.

Memphis stood up and announced. "Look that retard is right! We should stop sitting here and continue the race! Let's get that money back!"

Every knew that Memphis was right. Especially the veteran Cannonballers. They all got back into their vehicles and joined Caboose in the Cannonball Run.

**Song: "Dracula From Houston" by Butthole Surfers**

"Yes, you heard correctly, folks. " said Kevin. "Despite the heinous heist of the prize money, the Cannonballers are continuing the race."

"And we wish them the best of luck! But don't worry. I'm sure our dedicated security team can get the prize back before our Cannonballers reach LIberty City." said Olivia. "After all, there's a whole lot of world kft to go through."

"And as the Asian continent is now entered, it's all or nothing that the Cannonballers will be giving." said Kevin.

Nearby, Charles Foster Ofdensen, Dethklok's manager, was speaking with J.J., Victor and Fenderbaum.

"Look, guys, I know you want to have JAM Project play now that the racers are in Asia, but the guys are giving me a buttload of grief." he said.

"So what? Those guys racist or something?" asked Fenderbaum. "IF they are, I can introduce 'em to a whole world of pain."

"Oh no, they're just jealous of ALL competition." said Charles.

"Well just tell 'em to sit tight." replied J.J. "They'll still get to play again before the end."

"Yeah, and besides we've got more important things to worry about right now." said Victor. "Chaos and Fury can only do so much. They've handled things thus far, but I bet the bad guys are curious about this prize money theft as well."

---

Indeed they were. William had just heard of the prize money theft over the Takedown's radio as it drove through Indonesia.

"That wasn't part of the plan." he snapped at Xemnas over the radio.

"You're telling me." replied XEmnas. "We had nothing to do with it. Luxord is going to investigate the matter. According to eyewitness reports, it was

Carmen Sandiego who stole the money."

.

"I thought she was only interested in landmark theft." said Janice.

"I know. She must be working for someone." replied Xemnas. "But we will get to the bottom of this. In the meantime, we have to continue to make life

difficult for the Cannonballers. Tong Po has sent some more teams into action."

"Good." said William. "We're still here as well. Two of Cruger's guys are pursuing a Cannonballer right now."

"You can count on Hunter and Watson, boss." said Cruger. "They may not have much in the way of common sense, but they're smart on the road."

"I sincerely hope so." said William

---

Somewhere in Japan is the Glendale, who has stopped at a gas station. Where Robert Freeman had to use the restroom, from all of those lemon sour juice bottles he drank. However, the Indiana pulls into the gas station. All four serial killers climb out to confront the waiting Cannonballers.

"Well look here's here... Fresh meat for us!" Freddy said.

Inside the gas station, the clerk was eating green tea yokan and drinking coffee. A good combination in his opinion. After cutting another piece of the green block of gel, and shoving it in his mouth with a toothpick. The ground begins shaking in one second intervals. Like footsteps are heading his way. The clerk stops eating and takes another drink of his coffee, before going to see what is causing the earthquakes. To his surprise, they are large reptilian feet. And it's coming from two pairs of very large reptiles. To be more presice, it's coming from super deformed Godzilla with silver spines, and a super deformed Space Godzilla.

"SHIN-GOJI!!!!" the clerk ran back inside to get his coffee and yokan. Then hauled butt out of the store. Which caught the attention of Team Boondocks.

"Pay attention!" Freddy said. However the Cannonballers decided to make a run for it when they saw what was heading towards them. Which infuriated Freddy, when the Glendale sped off into the distance. "Oh what the hell is..."

Now that Freddy saw what was coming towards them. He ordered the other three to run as fast as they could. Leaving the Indiana behind. Shin-Goji, the Godzilla stepped down on the gas station. Flatening it to the thickness of sheet metal and blowing it up. Which hurt but didn't do much damage to his foot.

"Ah come on motherf---er!" Shin-Goji said. "Everytime I come out to Japan... Boom! Flat gas station!"

"You suck Shin." said the Space Godzilla, Space Hojo.

"Oh man Mr. Bedlam won't like this." Freddy said.

---

Somewhere in the Golden Triangle, Team Destiny's car was zapped with a EDB device, used last year by Jimmy DeMarco's henchmen. Now it's being used by the Flaming Dragon Gang. In a bid to catch the Cannonballers, in a act of revenge. They were DeMarco's number one producers of his heroin.

"(We got one team.)" a gang member said to their teenage leader.

"(Good... Prepare the EDB for the rest!)"

---

"I'm telling you Team Destiny's signal just disappeared!" Damian was telling GLaDOS. "They disappeared right the middle of the Golden Triangle in southeast Asia!"

"Contact Team Konami." GLaDOS replied. "They can investigate the region."

---

The Zenda was speeding along a long road on the island of Java. Heather was keeping the car going at top speed.

"This feels great, James." she said. "After being left behind for a while, we're fairly moving up in the ranking."

"Well, you just make sure to keep doing what you're doing Heather. I bet there's no-one now who could be a credible challenger to the Zenda."

Suddenly, the two team-mates heard a horn honking and the sound of a car catching up to them.

James looked in his side mirror and saw the Melizanno coming up behind them, also going all out.

Amanda was now behind the wheel of the Melizanno.

"Out of the way! We're coming through!" she yelled.

Heather activated the communicator in the Zenda and an image of Lara's team cam,e up on screen.

"I know you ladies are used to having an easy ride on the Cannonball." she said as the Melizanno girls heard their message. "BUt you know that pride comes

before a fall. I think you should just back off.".

"We'd love to...when pigs can fly!" replied Lata. "We NEVER back down!"

"We bet we can get out of this continent before you do." said Gin.

"Oh, really?" said James. "100 grand says you won't." He held up a thick wad of cash to show he wasn't joking.

"You're on!" said Natasha as she held up a matching roll of banknotes.

"Then, let's go!" said Heather as she poured on the speed of the Zenda. The speedometer reached the 200 mph. mark.

"Okay, no more Ms. Nice Racer!" said Amanda as she put her foot to the floor to catch up with the Zenda.

Both cars went through a large curve and Amanda pulled off a drift and managed to gain ground on the Zenda.

Heather gritted her teeth and the Zenda picked up the pace.

As the Zenda came alongside the Melizanno, James rolled his window down and pulled out a small paintball gun.

He laughed and fired a red paintball at one of the Melizanno's side mirrors.

"Just leaving my mark!" he laughed.

"Bloody wanker!" yelled Lara.

"Not very ladylike, Ms. Croft." James laughed as Heather gained the lead back again.

"James, you're an outlaw!" she said amused.

"Hey, we're Cannonballers." said James. "We're all outlaws.".

The Melizanno kept tight on their tail as they continued down the road.

---

In Singapore, the Meat Wagon was speeding along. Greg had turned the vehicle's emergency lights on so that people would think they really were paramedics.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Jimmy as he drove.

"Sure. J.J. and Victor got away with it in '81. And that made a GREAT movie, I might add." said Greg. "I wonder if anyoner would be interested in a remake."

Jimmy sighed. "It seems that every movie is a remake these days." he said. "Listen, you know where we are now right? I just hope that impersonating a doctor doesn't warrant coproral punishment here. I have very sensitive skin."

"Ah, don't worry." said Greg as he consulted the map. "Okay, keep going for a half-mile, then it's hard left."

"Right." replied Jimmy.

"No, left!" said Greg.

"OKay, right." said Jimmy.

"LEFT!" yelled Greg.

"You tunahead!" said Jimmy. "I'm agreeing with you! 'Right' as in 'affirmative', 'I understand', as in 'YOU ARE RIGHT'!".

"Oh. Right." replied a rather deflated Greg.

"Jeez!" sighed Jimmy.

'Hey, there's the turn!" yelled Greg.

Jimmy quickly turned the Meat Wagon around hard left and sped off down the highway.

Neither of them had noticed that the San Marino was following them.

"Thanks for giving me that idea, Luca." Amy smirked as she followed behind the Meat Wagon. "With people thinking that's a real ambulance, we'll cut through traffic with no problem."

"Well, you know I like to contribute to the team, Amy." Luca said via her cap. "We COULD go a bit faster if we get past Jimmy and Greg, though."

"How so?" asked Amy.

"Watch and learn." said Luca as she reached down with her paws and pulled up a prop steering wheel and held it up against the dashboard.

Jimmy kept his eye on the road. "I was a bit disappointed we didn't get any coffee in Java." Greg was saying. "I mean, they name the island after the coffee so you think they'd have a Starbucks somewhere."

"There was, but we don't have time." said Jimmy. "If we don't drink too much there won't be too many bathroom breaks so we gain an advantage."

Jimmy glanced over to his window and saw the San Marino attempting to pass. His jaw dropped as the side facing him was the side Luca was on with her fake steering wheel.

The cat appeared to be driving.

Luca suddenly gave her fake wheel a hard turn to the right and Jimmy panicked and swerved, afraid that the San Marino would make him crash.

As the Meat Wagon went off to the side of the road, Amy laughed about Luca';s trick as the San Marino sped on.

"God damn it!" Jimmy yelled. "Scammed by a damn cat!"

"Wouldn't be the first time you were fooled like that by a simple trick." said Greg.

---

As the Grand Valley made its' way out of Singapore to the ocean heading for Malaysia, the Keystone came up beside it.

"Hey, Mario!" yelled Ganondorf. "Wanna race to the ocean!"

"Sure!" said Mario. "Sonic, take-a it away!"

"And tear this asshole a new ass!" said LInk, finally sobering up. "I owe him a lot of pain."

"Okay, here we go!" said Sonic as he floored the accelerator on the Grand Valley and it took a lead.

Ganondorf got on the accelerator for the Keystone and tried to keep up, but was having difficulty.

"This pisses me off!" said Zant. "Who says the good guys always have to win?!"

"I know." replied Dark Samus. "After all, we'll be giving the prize money to a good cause if we win. Doesn't that count for anything!"

"Hey, can you guys shut up so I can concentrate!" yelled Ganondorf.

"Well excuse us for existing!" said Meta Knight sarcastically.

The Keystone caught up with the Grand Valley and kept on it.

"Not today!" said Sonic. "Jelly and jam time!"

He activated the shot of NOS in the Grand Valley and got ready to enter the harbour. As the Keystone tried to catch up, a police car suddenly got alongside it and motioned for Ganondorf to stop.

"Damn!" said Meta Knight as the Grand Valley sped on, uninterrupted.

The Grand Valley drove at full speed down the length of a pier and went over the edge.

In mid air, Sonic activated the car's aquatic mode and they landed safely in the water and were on their way.

"I hope Ganondorf will be-a okay." said MArio. "He may be a bad-a guy, but he's still a Nintendo guy."

Back near the entrance to the harbour, two Singapore police officers were chewing out the NIntendo villains.

"Enough excuses!" snapped one officer. "Drive this piece of crap around to the station and we'll deal with this situation."

"Alright, officer." said Ganondorf sheepishly as he started the Keystone up again.

Suddenly, he laughed and drove the Keystone off at full speed, driving over the main officer's feet as he did so.

"OW!" yelled the cop.

The Keystone sped like a bullet down the pier and repeated the Grand Valley's actions, following the Nintendo good guys over the ocean into Malaysia.

"Friggin' video game dorks!" snapped the other cop as he watched them go. "And everyone complains about the GTA series being a bad influence!"

---

By this stage, the Zenda and Melizanno's race had continued across the two islands and was now leading into Cambodia, with the Melizanno leading.

"These girls are Grade-A lunatics!" yelled Heather as sdhe kept her foot down.

"HAH!" snapped Gin triumphasntly. "The Veyron's not so super after all!"

"Don't get too cocky." said Natasha.

At the Cannonball Dome, GLaDOs was showing this fierce race on one of her monitors.

"Team Silent Hill and Team Girl Power are going all out to be te first to Russia." she announced.

"I think such a race calls for a bit of appropriate music." said J.J.

"Indeed so." said Brock. "So, in honour of the Asian continent, here is JAM Project with one of their greatest hits!".

Song: 'Crush Gear Fight' by JAM Project.

---

At a roadside gas station in Cambodia, the Coach had pulled over so Team Gameavision could have a break.

Inside the3 bus, Benny and Jerry were sitting at a computer monitor as Benny playtersted what Dave and Jerry had done so far on theor Cannonball Run game.

"Great stuff!" said Benny. "But you need to put more car varities into it. There aren't enough American cars."

"Uh, you do know that the US automobile industyry has been hit hard don't you?" asked Jerry.

"Don't care!" snapped Benny. "The world would be lost without the USA! More American cars!"  
"Okay, jeez." said Jerry.

Looking on was Todd. "IF I may intrude, I think if you put some people with the power of magic in the game, it will dscimate all competition!"

Jerry, as usual, looked creeped out by Todd. "OKay, whatever."

Outside the Coach, Larrity and the others were waiting on Dave who hurried out of the store.  
"About gosh-darn time, Dave!" said Larrity. "What'd you get?"

"Lots of goodies for you guys, and a huge bag of Fritos and a large Mountain Dew for me.". replied Dave.

"Are you sure you need more caffeine?" asked Mary. "You're already erratic enough as it is.".  
"Let me tell you something, Dave." said Black Steve as he took out his ever-present hand gun. "You better have a character in that damn game who's a positive role model to the brothers or  
I'm gonna drill you!"

"Now just hold yoir horses, Black Steve." said Larrity. "The game's still in developmental stage."

"Yeah. You can't rush genius, Black Steve." said Dave.

"Genius my ass!" mumbled Clare.

"I know what would make the game better." said Dean. "A team of hot chicks, like Lara's team. They rock!"

"Hey, Dean! It looks like you're finally starting to understand more about video games and how they please the consumer." smirked Dave.

Todd had stuck his head ouit of the door to the bus and had hesrd that last part of the conversation.

"You guys are always thinking with your genitals, you know that." he said.

"Homo." said Dave, pretending to cough. He then said "Oh excuse me, I just said 'homo'."

"Can I help you, Dave?" said Clarence in his sing-song voice.

"Not you, Clarence." said Dave. "Just keep your mind of composing some appropriate music for the game."

"OKay, that's enough jawin', guys." said Larrity. "We gotta get a gosh-darn move on or we'll be left behind. Haul ass!"

Everybody climbed back aboard the Coach and Dean got behind the wheel and started off on the road again.

---

The Hot Rod had been pulled over by a police motorcycle somewhere near Thailand. Sean and Dom looked embarrassed, standibg beside their vehicle as the cop prepared to write them a ticket.

"I guess they're making cop bikes a lot faster than they used to be." said Sean.

"Indeed they are." said the cop. "Don't get me wrong. Mr. Toretto. I'm a big fan of those movies based on your exploits, but rules are rules."

"Hey, I'm just impressed that you were able to keep up with us." said Dom. "First ticket I've been givenn on the Cannonball."

The cop hesitated for a moment. "What's that noise?" he asked.

Dom, Sean and their team-mates who were still in the Hot Rod looked around in confusion. It sounded like a high-powered engine was approaching.

Jesse James looked up to a hillside by the road and yelled "Incoming!"

The Takedown appeared on the crest of the hill and launched itself off the edge of te hill.  
A maniacally laughing Danny was behind the wheel. "THIS is how you handle the po-po!" he yelled.

The Takedown was headed right for the cop's motorcycle.

The cop qwuickly got out of the way as the Takedown made contact with the motorcycle and smashed it into junk.

"HAH!" yelled Danny triumphantly.  
"Alright! Enough showing off!" snapped William as he got his gun ready. "Now we give these morons what for!"

"Will do!" said Janice as she pulled out an Uzi.

"Get down!" yelled Dom as he, Sean and the officer hit the dirt.

William and Janice leaned out the window and prepared to fire.

"I think a gadget would come in handy right now!" said Memphis as he hit a switch on the dashboard of the Hot Rod.

A large circular magnet extended from the front end of the Hot Rod and was activated.  
Before they could fire their guns, William and Janice found their weapons plucked out of their hands byu the high powerdd magnet.

William looked angered as some of his rings were pulled off as well, as did Janice when her dogtags were pulled off as well.

Dom, Sean and the police officer got to their feet again.

"Good thinking, Memphis." said Sean.

The officer got ready to approach the Takedown, which then took off at high speed.

"Is there some higherb force at work here?" snapped Janice. "Are we asking too much of life?!"

"Hang on! I'll et us out of here.!" said Danny.

"Don't worry, officer." said Dom. "We can get those assholes for you!"

The officer looked pleasantly surprised. "You want to help the police?"

"Well, you said you were a fan. Also that was that drug-running dickhead Cruger. The guy who looks like me. He could ruin my rep."

The officer tore up the ticket he had been writing.

"Then go get him." said the officer. "And if you can, win this race for me!"

"Will do!" said Sean as he and Dom got back into the Hot Rod.

"So, we have a pursuit?" asked Jesse.

"Hell yeah!" said Dom.

The Hot Rod drove off at high speed after the Takedown.

---

Back at the Cannonball Dome, Adam Sessler was addressing the camera, along with his co-host Morgan Webb.

"We've just received word that Team Furious has just used their high-powered magnet successfully." said Adam.

"As you may remember, it works on the same principal as the famed Electro-Nuclear magnet, invented by Dr. A. Heller of Champion City." said Morgan.

"He was kind enough to give the blue prints to the race officials in case gun play was used."

"And we're glad to see that it has worked." said Adam. "The Cannonballers may now have to break out all their gadgets now, as it's been confirmed that there's some baddie bashing to do."

"That's right, Adam." said Morgan. "In fact, on the line right now we have Dr. Chalmers from Team Strangerhood in the Camper A to discuss a gadget which his team have selected.  
Hello there, Doctor."

"Hi, Morgan. Great to hear from you. I just loved X-Play: The Musical by the way. You have a great singing voice.". said Dr. Chalmers over the link.

"Why, thank you." she said. "So the apparatus you have wired up to the CAmper A's electrical system is an anti-disruption system."

"That's right." Chalmers said. "When we arrived, we heard about how Jimmy DeMarco's people used that EDB device in last year's race."

"So, you decided to take precautions in case such a thing happened again." said Adam.

"You bet. Most bad guys don't seem to have much imagination these days. I mean, really! They rip off just about every Wacky Races or Road Runner booby trap they can!" said Chalmers.

"Well, it was very wise of you to pick the system." said Morgan. She turned to face the camera and said "As yu may remember, the ADS was invented by the Ghostbusters of New YOrk City. LIke their Ecto Booster device, it not only protects the vehicle from attacks that may short out a vehicle's electrical system, but also diverts any such attack back at its' perpetrators."

"So, someone could be in for a rough ride." said Adam. "And bear in kind, that is only one of the many useful devices which our racers may now find themselves in need of."

---

The Eiswolf sped down a road leading to Bangkok.

Spike was reading the manual for a device they had picked for the race.

"Alright. I get it now." he said. "The MIcrochip Remote Contol missile will help us to take control of another car and hopefully prevent it from getting ahead of us for a while."

"Sounds like it could be useful." said Jet. "But we have to decide who we want to use it against."

"I think there's such a person coming up now." said Edward as she looked behind them.  
The Nordberg was coming up and looking to overtake them.

"Is that a Cannonballers?" asked Leland.

"Most likely." said Dog. "But right now, we've to focus on finding that van with Mrs. Bluth in it. So hold on to your butts!"

The Nordberg blew right past the Eiswolf and prepared to speed off.

"That was Dog Chapman. " said Jet. "There ain't no way he's beating us to that bounty!".  
"OKay, then." said Spike. "Edward, you got the remote control?"

"Check!" replied Edward.

"Right. Here we go." said Spike as he pressed a switch on the dashboard.

Underneath the Eiswolf's front bumper, a gun barrel extended.

Spike used a computer screen to aim the gun at the underside of the Nordberg.

"Steady, steady." he said.

"Just keep going, Justin." said Tim. "If we can nab the Bluths before they leave Asia, that's our troubles over."

"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing." replued Justin as he drove the Nordberg.

"Fire!" sad Spike as he shot a small missile from the gun towards the undercariage of the Nordberg.

The missile attached itself to the undercarriage with a magnetic disk.

"Right on!" said Spike.

"Right, here we go!" said Edward aa she pressed a button on the remote.  
The Nordberg's brakes suddenly jammed on.

"What the hell?" yelled Dog.

"I didn't do anything!" protested Justin.

Edward pressed a few more buttobs on her remote and the Nordberg started up again, turned a hard 180 and drove back the way it had gone.

"What are you doing?! You're going the wrong way!" said Tim.

"And I said I'm not doing anything." said Justin as he took his hands off the wheel and showed that he was not in control of the Nordberg.

Team Bebop honked their horn as the Eiswolf sped past the reversing SUV.

"I'll just keep them busy for a while." said Edward as she pressed another button and set a timing device on the remoter for one hour.

The Nordberg started driving around in circles.

"Oooh, shit! I'm gonna hurl!" said Leland.

"Justin, hit the brakes!" said Dog.

"I AM hitting the brakes!" said Justin.

"Then push press something!" Dog yelled back.

"YOU press something!" Justin snapped back.

"This is not what I signed up for!" said Tim.

The Eiswolf roared on down the road.

"They'll be going in circles for the next hour." said Edward. "We'll be far away by then."

"Right. Jet, step on it!" said Spike.

---

The NRG-V8 stopped by a convient store. Jan and the others ran inside. Soon after, the Fury Cruizer pulled in. However when they got out, Tong Po and a group of Tengas came out from the side of the building.

"Prepare to die Cannonballers!" he announced.

"Let's do it guys!" Casey shouted.

"JUNGLE BEAST! SPIRIT UNLEASHED!"

The resulting fight was taken to the side of the building. Just as Team Gekiranger walked out with some supplies, Tong Po crawled to the front of the building. He turned to the Cannonballers and said. "Why aren't you calling for help?"

Then he was dragged behind the building. The Gekirangers looked at each other.

"(What did he say?)" Ken asked. As none of them understand English.

---

Team Capcom, Team Sooga, Team Oban, and Team Evil Ninja met up with Team Konami. Near the Flaming Dragon Gang compound. Once they were briefed, Team Konami left them to their own devices.

"So now we know what is going on in that compound. We now have to plan right?" Abyo asked.

"This will take a while..." Ryu said.

---

The San Marino Spyder was roaring through a small town a few miles away. As Takeshi drove, beimg chased by some

police cars, he swerved a hard right into an alleyway, knocking over a fruitstand that was nearby.

"This is getting ridiculous now." said Takeshi. "We've seen just about EVERY cliche you find in a movie car chase

on this trip so far. I mean, there was the fruitstand amd earlier there were boxes.".

"Yeah, and now you're driving down an alleyway and we had a bit of trouble with an oncoming truck a while ago." concurred Liz. "I just hope we don't run into a roadblock and have to hear the over-dramatic music that comes with it.".

"Well, if that happens we can just use that One-Time Overthruster thing." replied Takeshi as he drove the San Marino Spyder at high speed out of the alleyway and quickly swerved to avoid two workers carrying a large glass window at the end. One of the cop cars pursuing them couldn't turn in time and crashed through the window breaking it.

"(You espresso drinking retards!)" one of the workers yelled at the cops.

"Cliche number seven there." said Liz. "THe car going through glass."

"That should keep them off our butts for a while." smirked Takeshi.

"Hey, they ARE just doing their job, you know." said Liz.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" said Takeshi.

"JUst showing a bit of consideration." said Liz. "Kindness brings its' own reward.".

"Confucius?" asked Takeshi.

"No. Common sense." replied Liz.

---

Meanwhile, on a road in Japan, Team Looney Tunes were driving along.

They found themselves coming up to a four-way intersection. There were three other vehicles waiting at each junction of the intersection.

"Oh great, I say, great!" groaned Foghorn. "We can't just sit here all the dad-gone day!"

"Hey, relax guys. We just have to figure out who has the right of way." said Bugs.

Daffy, who was driving, was looking nervously at a black Nissan Titan truck that was at the intersection in front of them. He gulped and said "I think this guy does.".

"What makes you say that?" asked Elmer as he leaned forward to get a better look at the truck.

He gulped too as he saw that in the cab of the truck was a gun rack behind the driver. Not only that but there was also a bumper sticker attached to the front bumper which read 'Guns don't kill people. I do'.

"Sowwy I asked." said Elmer.

"Okay, then." said Bugs who had now gone a bit pale himself. "Let him go on.".

Daffy flashed the Brooklyn's lights and the scary truck went on its' way.

---

The Cannonballers formulated a plan to sneak them inside and to free Team Destiny. However it involved them storming the place with everything they have. Which they did, and stormed the entire facility with their vehicles.

"Okay, there's about to be some MAJOR ass-kicking going on!" said Morgan as she watched on a monitor at the Cannonball Arena. "And now, with some appropriate music are DMX and the Bloodhound Gang!"

"Okay guys!" said DMX. "Let's kick some ass!"

The audience cheered and DMX grabbed the mike and said "Here's proof that rap knows no racial boundaries, as this one was done by some white Irish guys! Hit it!"

**Song: "Jump Around" by House of Pain**

Abyo, Garu and Pucca dodged gunfire, coming from the gang's AK-47s. Then they knocked gangsters down with flying kicks.

"Hadouken!" Ryu fires his fireball and knocked over ten gangsters in a bowling pin fashion. "Strike!"

"What's going on out there?" Lunamaria asked.

Athran looked out the window. "Looks like the others came to our rescue!"

"Then let's get out of here." Kira exclaimed. They ran to the exit. Only to find a gang member standing in their way. They happened to be standing near a pile of heroin. To which Lunamaria grabbed and blew into the man's face. Making him fall unconscious.

"That should take care of him for a while." However Lunamaria also inhaled a small bit of it as well. "I'm going to take a quick nap..."

She then fell unconscious into Shin's arms. "We better carry her out of here."

The fighting continued as the Cannonballers fought off the entire gang. Chris Redfield and Mega Man chose to help Team Destiny back to their car. Parked near their own cars.

"This must have been what caused the Atlus to shut down." Koji told Stan. Indicating the portable EDB cannon. Which is about the size of a RPG launcher.

"Then let's get it out of here." Stan said. "Just think, onle less weapon against us Cannonballers."

Back outside Muji was using his moustache as a whip. When a six year old boy latched onto Muji and tried to choke the life out of of him.

"Not good... for Muji."

Pucca ran over and freed her rival and literally threw the kid into the jungle.

Once Team Destiny was safely back at their car and was ensured to run again. The Cannonballers ran back to their vehicles. However the leader and the rest of the gang still able to walk without a limp, marched towards them. The teenage leader was holding a bazooka. He took aim for the Cannonballers... And fired when he had a lock. However Koji and Stan ran outside with the EDB cannon in their arms.

"Oh s---!" Stan said. Him and Koji threw the EDB cannon into the path of the rocket. The EDb cann took full force of the impact. Destroying it on impact. This left the leader to curse and swear in a foreign language. The young kid was sitting in the jungle, pouting. As Stan and Koji ran back to their vehicle in the jungle. The Cannonballers left the compound for good.

---

As the Cannonballers got ready to enter Japan, the Fairview had stopped so its' team could have a bathroom break.

"I'll just activate the security system." said Scott as he pressed a button on the keyring.

"That would be very wise." said Sam waggishly.

"You are such a smart ass, you know that, Sam?" asked Ethan.

"Hey, you'll find that a good sense of humour helps you get through your job." said Sam.

All four members of Team Stealth entered a local shopping mall to use the restrooms.

As they did, Yazoo and LOz pulled up on their motorcycles and smirked when they saw the Fairview left alone.

"OKay, LOz, let's pay these Cannonball assholes back for what happened to Kadaj back in the States." said Yazoo.

"No problem." said Loz as he took out a crowbar and approached the Fairview.

Yazoo got off his cycle and approached as well, with a baseball bat.

"Okay." said LOz as he put his right hand on the Fairview's hood. "I think first we.."

Suddenly there was an electronic sound and Loz looked stunned. He tried to move his hand off the Fairview's hood but found that it was stuck.

"What's wrong?" asked Yazoo.

"My hand's stuck!" yelled LOz as he tried to free his hand. He moved his free hand towards it to try and pull it off but there was another electronic sound and his left wrist suddenly got stuck to the Fairview's hood as well.

"Hang on. I'll give you a hand." Said Yazoo as he came closer. As he got close to the Fairview, he put his foot up on the car's bumper. There was another 'magnet' sound and he found his foot stuck to the bumper.

"This is getting ridiculous!" yelled Yazoo.

"YOu think I don't know that?!" snapped Loz.

At that point, the members of Team Stealth returned.

They all smirked.

"Well. Looks like that anti-theft device does work after all." said Snake.

"Good job we picked it as a gadget." said Ethan.

Scott and Sam approached Loz and Yazoo.

"SO, you guys care to tell us who you're working for?" asked Scott.

"Bite me, asshole!" snapped Loz.

"Oh, someone needs taught some manners I see." said Sam. "What do you guys say we take our friends for an little ride?"

"Good idea." said Scott. "Let's just secure them properly first."

Ten minutes later......

The Fairview was driving wildly around the mall's parking lot. Loz and Yazoo were still stuck on the hood of the car, now with both of their hands and feet stuck on the hood and bumper.

Sam was driving at high speed and drifting through the turns, laughing all the way. Both Yazoo and Loz were terrified.

"Just say the magic words, boys!" said Scott.

"Never!" yelled Yazoo.

"Then hold on tight!" said Sam as he roared at over 100 mph towards a speedbump.

The Fairview hit the speedbump and went flying about twenty feet. Yazoo and Loz screamed in terror as the car hit the ground again.

"Alright! We'll say it!" said Loz. "We're sorry we attacked you.".

"I don't think I heard you too clearly." teased Sam.

"WE'RE SORRY WE ATTACKED YOU!" yelled Yazoo and Loz in unison.

"Apology accepted." said Scott as Sam slammed on the brakes.

"Okay, guys. You're free to go." said Ethan as he pressed a switch. There was a short buzz and both Yazoo and Loz fell backwards off the Fairview as the security system released them.

Snake leaned out the window and said "Don't get any funny ideas again."

Loz held his stomach and looked like he was about to be sick.

"Too much ramen!" laughed Sam as he drove off.

Yazoo glared after them.

"I'm gonna rip their guts out and...

"Shut up! I'm gonna be sick!" yelled Loz.

Yazoo sneered at him and mumbled "Wimp" under his breath.

---

"OKay, our racers are now officially in the heart of Japan." said Adam. "And we believe we can now see who has won in the battle between Team Girl Power and Team Silent Hill."

"That's right." said GLaDOS as one of her satellites showed the two vehicles approaching Hokkaido. "It appears that the winning vehicle is...te Melizanno.".

The screen showed Lara and her team cheering.

"Wow." said Olivia. "Who'd have thought that a 60s Lambo could be tuned to beat a Veyron. I bet it was a rough battle for road supremacy there.".

"Maybe so. But I think this deseerves a song," said Kevin. "So here, once again are the excellent JAM Project with a very appropriate song.".

**Song: 'Victory' by JAM Project**

As the song ended, Amanda drove the Melizanno towards the ocean and got ready to make the journey to mainland Japan.

As she did she turned to the other girls and said "Should the engine be making that noise?"

"It's probably nothing serious." replied Heather.

"Let's bloody well hope not." said Lara.


	10. Don't Stop Us Now Part 2

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Asia/Russia: Don't Stop Us Now Part 2**

Author's Note: the Aggrometer for Team Sealab is based on the 'Agro' feature from 'Midnight Club 3; DUB Edition', the Barrel Shield for Team Simpsons is borrowed from the animated movie 'Freddie as FRO7' and the Damage Magnifier for Team Griffin is based on the 'Acme Damage Magnifier' pick-up from 'Carmageddon'.

As the Takedown sped on towards Tokyo, William impatiently yelled into his CB.

"Feng! Are you back on the road yet?"

"Yes I am." said Feng as he drove s bright red Peterbilt 359 EXHD tractor trailer called the Phantom about ten miles away.

The truck had numerous mounted weapons on it which were manned by a few of the Red and Blue Grunts.

A couple of other Grunts were following behind the truck on quadbikes.

"You needn't worry, Mr. O'Malley." said Feng as he wore the Total Anarchy mask. "The Cannonballers will face the fury of Total Anarchy before they leave this continent.".

"They'd better." said William. "We have to really kick some ass this time. And tell Luxord to get the lead out and find out where Carmen Sandiego is going!".

Feng got on his radio and addressed the Grunts on the quads.

"You guys split up and try to find some more Cannonballers!" he said. "I'll be able to handle a team of them by myself.".

"Copy." replied the Grunts.

Danny looked in the Takedown's rear view mirror and saw the Hot Rod coming up behind them.

"Damn! They're still on our ass!". he said.

"You realise you're LETTING them catch up with us?!" snapped Janice. "You're supposed to be a great wheelman!".

She angrily gave the gear lever a pull. Danny quickly switched it back to what it was before.

"FASTER! FASTER!" yelled William as he hit Danny on the shoulder.

Sean was now driving the Hot Rod.

"Don't worry guys." he said. "Thanks to my connections I know every back alley in this city. We'll catch 'em."

"Still hard to believe we've stayed on them this far." said Jesse. "Are you part hound dog or something, Sean?"

"Could be." replied Sean, smirking.

They saw a bright light come up beside them and turned to see that the Chopper was now alongside them.

"Do you guys need help?" Johnny Blaze asked.

"Yeah. We're after some of those a-holes trying to stop the race." said Dom.

"You guys take a break then. Just leave it to me." Johnny said as he changed into Ghost Rider and roared off after the Takedown.

As Ghost Rider drove off, Jesse said "I think we should contact that guy Tim Clarks. He's with Interpol, right? And they're trying to catch O'Malley.".

"Good call." said Memphis as he picked up the CB in the Hot Rod

---

Back at Cannonball HQ, Adam and Morgan were watching the race footage.

"Well, our racers are now mostly entering Tokyo. We have it on authority that the Melizanno is nearing the city now." said Morgan. "No doubt Heather Burnside's colleagues from the city's drifting world will be there to offer a warm welcome.".

"Maybe. But don't forget that Sean Boswell on the Hot Rod team is known as the Drift King of Tokyo." said Adam. "Maybe we can expect a contest between the two. That would be worth watching."

"Anyway, here now with some music are the JAM Project with Reel Big Fish and Queen Latifah, singing an excellent Japanese hit to celebrate the Cannonballers' arrival in Japan." said Morgan as the band members took the stage.

"Alright y'all." said Queen Latifah. "Here we go. And I hope my hours spent learning Japanese have paid off."

**Song: 'Ride on Shootimg Star' by the Pillows.**

Just outside Tokyo, the Melizanno was pulled over to the side of the road. Lara and Amanda were standing near it talking to the police officer who had pulled them over. Both of them had their jumpsuits unzipped enough to show some cleavage.

"Well, then, ladies." said the smiling cop in English. "I don't see why I can't just let you off with a warning. Just be careful down the road, as a few of the other officers may not be so understanding.".

"Thank you, officer." smirked Amanda. "And if you're ever in Austin, Texas, remember to look me up."

"I've got the address and everything, m'am." smiled the officer as he went back to his squad car and drove off.

"Okay. Time to go. " said Lara as she and Amanda headed back to the Melizanno.

As they got in, Natasha tried to start the engine, but the car made a very strange, spluttering sound when she tried to start it.

"What's wrong?" asked Heather.

"Uh, guys. I hate to tell you this, but I think we did something to the Melizanno when we were trying to beat the Zenda earlier.".

"Damn!" Snapped Lara. "What now?"

"Simple." said Heather. "We activate our beacon and wait for a repair team.".

"I knew it was too good to be true that we beat the Zenda." sighed Amanda.

---

Back at Cannonball HQ, Damian appeared on the screen in front of the announcers.

"Alright, guys, I've received a distress call from the Melizanno. It appears that they have run into a bit of engine trouble. But I'm on my way right now to help them out." he said.

"Can you get to their location in time?" asked Kevin.

"No problem." replied Damian as he pointed to his vehicle, a 1950s Ford towtruck called the Towtruck. "The Towtruck was fitted with an Oscillation Overthruster, courtesy of Dr. Banzai, so I'll be to their location in a matter of seconds.".

"Okay, Damian. We'll let you handle that. In the meantime, let's see how the rest of the racers are doing via our spy satellite." said Olivia

---

In Tokyo, night had fallen. The Compton was parked at a local restaurant. Sam and Dean were sitting at a table, each enjoying a bowl of ramen.

"I never really did care much for Asian food before." said Dean. "But this stuff is really great. I think we're making good time in the race right now.".

"Yeah, but if we're not careful, we may end up having to look out for the others on this trip." said Sam as he consulted his laptop. "According to this article, there's a shortcut mountain route outside the city leading straight to the ocean that leads to North Korea.".

"What's the problem with that?" asked Dean.

"When I said 'look out' for the others I meant 'protect them'." said Sam as he turned the laptop around to face Sam. "That route is known as the Mamoru highway, and it's supposedly haunted by the ghost of a street racer who died in a crash there back in the 80s.".

Dean had a look at the article. "It says he targets anyone who speeds on the road as he viewed it as HIS road when he raced on it because he was undefeated." Dean remarked.

"Yeah, and apparently his car was sabotaged by his rivals which is what lead to his death. But he doesn't care who he goes after." said Sam. "Anyone speeding on his road is fair game. Leading the spirit to holy ground appears to be the only option as the body was cremated and the remains of the car scrapped".

"This legend is well-known in Tokyo, right?" asked Dean. "So who would be stupid enough to try and race on that road.".

As Dean said that, the Journey drove up to the cafe and honked it's horn.

"Hey! Sam! Dean! Que pasa?" Jamie called over to the brothers.

"Hey, guys, how you doin'?" asked Dean.

"We're doin' great!" said Adam. "The Journey here is helping us out big time. I think we have a good shot ar winning this. We've decided to bust another little myth we heard about around here.".

"What's that?" Sam jokingly asked. "Whether or not Godzilla's real?".

"Nah." said Jamie. "It's about this road called the Mamoru highway being haunted. I mean, who would believe that?".

Sam and Dean's jaws dropped when they heard that.

"Well, gotta go. See you guys soon!" said Adam as he drove off.

"Guys! Wait!" yelled Sam as the Journey sped off.

The Journey had long gone before any more could be said.

"Great!" said Dean. "Well, better go to the rescue I suppose. Is there holy ground anywhere on the Mamoru highway?"

Sam checked his laptop. "Yeah. There's a Buddhist temple about twenty miles away from Tokyo,.".

"Then let's get going?" said Dean as he left some money on the table and the brothers ran for the Compton.

---

The Walton was speeding through traffic in the city. Marco was behind the wheel.

"I'm gonna try the Aggrometer device we had fitted." he said.

"If you want to. But make sure no one gets injured." said Tornado.

"Hey, what do you think I am? Stupid?" Marco asked.

"YES!" everybody else chorused.

Marco huffed and flipped the switch. He then drove the Walton forward at full speed and knocked a couple of carsout of the truck's path like they were toy cars. As he did, the windshield of the Walton got broken from the impact.

"You're fixing that, asshole!" Stormy said to Marco.

"There's just no pleasing you guys, is there?" groaned Marco.

---

Meanwhile, Damian had reached the disabled Melizanno and had the Towtruck parked near it. He was standing at one side of the car, looking under the hood, and Lara and Amanda were standing on the other side, also looking under the hood.

Lara and Amanda had forgotten to zip their suits up so needless to say, Damian was enjoying the view as he stood opposite them.

"We popped the hood and it looks like we may have caused the engine to overheat." said Amanda as she looked inside the car, unaware of Damian's scrutiny of her and Lara's 'equipment'.

"Mmmm-hmmm." said Damian in a slightly perverse way.

"Does it look bad?" asked Lara.

"Not from where I'm standing." replied Damian.

"Oh, can you fix it then?" asked Lara.

"M'am, I have a tool that could fix anything." said Damian.

Heather had gotten out of the car in time to hear that remark and came over to join Lara and Amanda with a stern look on her face.

"Oh yeah?" she said with her hands on her hips. She looked at Lara and Amanda and cleared her throat.

Lara and Amanda realised their mistake and straightened up, zipping their jumpsuits up as they did so.

Damian looked rather embarrassed.

"Well, now that we've removed distraction, can you knock off the horny BS and tell us if you can fix our car or not?" said Amanda.

Damian cleared his throat and replied "Sure I can. But it's going to take at least twelve hours. You really did thrash out the engine when you were trying to beat the Zenda. After all, this is a 60s Lambo and it is powerful, but not Batmobile powerful.".

Natasha came up beside Damian and said "Well that's no good. We can't afford to lose any time.".

"Well I'm sorry but that's the way it is." said Damian.

While Natasha and Damian were talking, the other three members of the Melizanno team were looking over at the Towtruck. The low rumbling of the engine let them know that it was NOT powered by a stock engine.

"Hey, Damian." said Lara in a slightly flirty way. "What have you got under the hood of the Towtruck? It doesn't sound stock.".

"It isn't." said Damian proudly. "I took out the stock engine and shoehorned in a fully operational Ford V10. I also added a turbocharger as well. I knew I'd need to keep up with the Cannonballers if I wanted to help them out on the race."

"Really?" asked Amanda in the same flirty tone.

Damian went over to join Lara, Amanda and Heather. "She'll do about 160 on the straight, and she's got a tank of nitrous in as well. If I hadn't drawn breakdown duty I'd have entered the Cannonball with her myself." he beamed. "She's a sweetheart, isn't she?".

"Mmmm-hmmm." said Heather.

At the Melizanno, Natasha sighed because she knew what was coming next.

Amanda let out a loud sigh and said. "It sure is hot in Japan for this time of year isn't it?"

She unzipped her jumpsuit down to just below her bustline and pretended to fan herself,.

"It certainly is. A real scorcher." replied Lara as she also unzipped her suit a bit to show her 'equipment'.

"Yes indeedy." said Heather as she did the same.

Damian blushed a little bit and tried not to eye the girls too much.

"Damian. Is there any chance that we could borrow the Towtruck for the race while you fix the Melizanno?" asked Amanda. "We would be VERY gentle with it.".

"Well, I'm not sure." said Damian.

"Oh come on." said Lara and she put one of her fingers on Damian's chin. "The Towtruck has the same equipment the race vehicles have so we could stay in contact. You could catch up with us in the Melizanno when it's fixed.".

"Yeah. " said Heather as she put a hand on Damian's shoulder. "We promise we'll take care of the Towtruck. You DO want to help out some Cannonballers don't you?".

"Well, I...suppose so." said Damian.

"Hey, Natasha. How far is it to North Korea from here?" asked Lara.

"I'll have to look at the map." said Natasha.

"Then do that." said Amanda.

"But it's in..."

"Come on." said Amanda.

Natasha sighed and unzipped her jumpsuit to take out the map. As she did, she too showed off some of her cleavage.

At the sight of that Damian said "Aw, what the hell? I know I can trust you girls. Take the Towtruck. I can catch up with you no problem. I'll have the Melizanno back before you get to Russia at least.".

Amanda kissed the tip of one of her fingers and then touched Damian on the nose with it.

"Thanks, honey. You won't regret it." she said.

Ten minutes later....

The Towtruck sped into the Tokyo city limits with the four girls driving it. They all had their suits zipped up.

But Natasha still looked a bit annoyed.

"You knew I'd have to unzip my suit to get the map, didn't you?" she said to Amanda.

"Chill out. It helped us convince Damian, didn't it?" Amanda replied.

"Yeah, I know, but it's so degrading." said Natasha.

"Well, it helps that there are always a buttload of horny morons during the Cannonball." said Lara as she drove."As long as they're around, there's a lot that a group of smart girls can do to avoid complications with the law and other things.".

"Besides, hopefully we'll not have to do that again now." said Heather.

"I hope not." said Natasha. "I have a boyfriend, you know."

Then, a Tokyo Highway Patrol car came alongside them and the driver motioned for them to slow down and stop.

"Aw, crap!" sighed Natasha.

"Don't worry." said Lara as she pulled over.

The cop stopped his car and went over to the window of the Towtruck.

"Hi, officer." the four girls chorused.

"Sorry to bother you ladies." the cop said in English. "But there was a bit of a traffic accident a few blocks over. Could you possibly lend a hand with the clean-up?".

The girls looked pleasantly surprised.

"Oh, sure, officer." said Lara. "Just point the way."

"See?" Heather said to Natasha. "No need for the routine.".

"Only because he thinks we're a real tow truck crew." replied Natasha.

---

The Elegant was driving through Tokyo. Hiro was looking glad to be back in his home city.

"Is there a karaoke bar around here, Hiro?" asked Goren. "I'd really love to try out my vocal skills.".

"There is one near here." replied Hiro in English. "But unfortunately, I got banned from it. It was back when I first tried out my powers.".

"What did you do? Teleport yourself into the Ladies' Room?" asked House as he drove.

"How did you know?" asked Hiro.

"When you first get superpowers you tend to do things a 30 year old adolescent would do. At least that's how it is on TV." replied House.

"Anyway, Goren. You studied that Japanese language book for quite a while." said Hiro. "Want to show me your language skills?".

"Sure." replied Goren. "Ask me anything.".

"(Okay.)" said Hiro in Japanese. "(Could you kindly direct me to the nearest Tourist Information Bureau?)".

Goren smiled and replied in very bad Japanese.

"(No problem, Candy Nose. You go straight past the dishwasher until you find the Christmas Tree and then you follow the saxophone until you find the underpants and then there's your sailorman. Alright, ice cream cone?)".

After a brief pause, Hiro replied in English "You didn't really get the hang of it, did you?".

Goren looked embarrasssed and replied "No, I guess I didn't."

"Hey, Hiro. Where's the nearest Starbucks. I just need some coffee." asked House.

"Well, you go up this street we're on here, doctor." said Hiro. "Then go the first left, then second on the right, go a third of a mile and it's number four, fifth street."

After a pause, House slowly said "O..kay.".

---

On the Mamoru highway, the Journey was speeding along at well over 100 mph.

Jamie smiled as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Amazing we haven't woken the other guys up yet." said Jamie as he briefly looked in the back and saw Tori, Keri and Grant all asleep on pull down beds.

"I guess that after so many continents of speeding, they get used to it." said Adam as something in the rear view mirror suddenly caught his interest.

"Well, looks like another myth busted here, Adam." he said. "No sign of any ghost yet.".

"Don't be so sure about that." said Adam as he looked in the rear view. "What kind of car is the ghost supposed to be driving?".

"A '73 Mazda RX3." replied Jamie. "Why do you ask?"

Adam turned pale and said "Take a look behind us.".

Jamie glanced at the rear view and looked shocked. Following behind them was a black 1973 Mazda RX3, with darkened windows.

The RX3 rammed them hard from behind and nearly knocked them off the road.

"Shit!" yelled Jamie.

"You just HAD to try and bust this myth, didn't you?" yelled Adam.

The RX3 let out a menacing engine roar and rammed into them again. Jamie kept going.

As the ghost car prepared to ram them again, Jamie slammed on the Journey's brakes.

The black phantom car simply passed through the Journey and came out in front of the car.

"I didn't know they could do that." said Adam.

"It's a ghost. What do you expect?" asked Jamie.

The RX3 turned around to face them head on. As it swerved around hard, they observed that no tyre marks were left on the road by the ghost car.

"What now?" asked Jamie.

"How should I know?" replied Adam. "I thought it was just a myth.".

Just then, the Compton drove up alongside the Journey. Dean yelled over to Adam and Jamie.

"Don't worry." he said. "We'll handle this guy.".

Dean pressed a button on the dashboard of the Compton and a gun barrel extended from the grille of the car.

It shot out a jet of water at the RX3.

"A friggin' water pistol!" said Adam. "Are you shitting me?!".

The RX3 backed off a bit and the Mythbusters saw that some of the front end of the car had melted as the water touched it.

"It's holy water, guys." said Sam. "We came prepared on this trip.".

The RX3's engine let out a nasty roar.

"It worked, Sam." said Dean. "He's mad at us now.".

"Then let's go!" yelled Sam.

Dean put the Compton in gear and roared off along the haunted highway at high speed. The ghost car suddenly disappeared, but then reappeared on the highway facing after the Compton and roared off after the Winchester brothers.

"Let's follow 'em." said Adam. "They may need help. And we owe them for saving our butts.".

"Okay." said Jamie as he put the Journey into gear. "Hold onto your lunchpail!".

---

Back in Tokyo, Tim Clarks and his team were listening to Dom speaking on their radio.

"Ghost Rider is after O'Malley." Dom said. "He should catch them any minute now.".

"Thanks, Dom." said Tim. "I've informed the Tokyo PD. They're going to aid us with the arrest. O'Malley and his guys are going down!".

"I've got Ghost Rider's signal." said Shayla. "They're heading towards the centre of the city.".

"No problem." said Ricky. "I'll catch 'em.".

The Landstalker Mk. II sped on towards where Ghost Rider was chasing the Takedown.

The Chopper was right behind the Takedown. Danny tried every driving tactic he could think of to try and shake the supernatural avenger but Ghost Rider kept on coming.

"Head towards that building!" William yelled.

"Will that help?" asked Janice.

"Sure." smirked William. "It's one of my legit businesses." He pulled out a remote control device. "So I'll use that to our advantage. Danny, go into the parking garage.".

"Gotcha." said Danny.

As the Takedown sped towards the entrance to the parking garage, William pointed the remote control and pressed a button. The door to the garage opened and let the Takedown in.

AS the truck entered the garage, William smirked and pressed the remote again, closing the garage door behind them.

"Now, drive right through and head out the other side. It takes twenty minutes to go around the long way. We'll be long gone by then." William said.

"No prob, boss." said Danny.

Danny drove the Takedown as fast as he could to the opposite side of the large garage and out the other door at the end.

As they exited, William pressed the remote again and the door closed behind them.

Danny brought the Takedown to a halt. All three of the villains smirked as they thought they had escaped.

"That's how we'll beat them." said Janice. "They just keep on underestimating us.".

Danny looked up and saw a bright light seemingly going up the side of a building. He frowned and looked closer.

"No way!" he said.

"What?" asked William as he looked. HIs jaw dropped as he saw that Ghost Rider was driving his cycle right up the side of a building, across the roof and straight down the other side.

"Son of a BITCH!" yelled William as the Chopper came down on the ground right near the Takedown.

Nearby, the Landstalker Mk. II and some local police cars had blocked off the street. Tim and Ricky approached the Takedown with guns drawn.

Completely unafraid, William and Janice got out of the Takedown as Ghost Rider approached.

Both had pulled out guns of their own and had started shooting at Ghost Rider. But Ghost Rider just shrugged off the gun fire.

As Ghost Rider got up to them, Janice tried to reload but Ghost Rider pushed her hard, knocking her to the ground.

"Give it up, O'Malley!" yelled Tim. "You've got nowhere to go!".

"I'll handle this, Tim." said Ghost Rider as he picked William up by his short front.

"Don't kill him!" said Ricky.

"I won't. I'll use a toned-down version of my Penance Stare'" said Ghost Rider.

He looked right into William's eyes and said "You...GUILTY!".

A light went from Ghost Rider's eyes right into William's. Tim and Ricky looked on in concern, as they knew what effect Ghost Rider's Penance Stare could have.

As Ghost Rider ended the attack, a tear ran from William's eye. But then, he started laughing maniacally.

"Okay, what's happened?" asked Tim as he and Ricky came right up to Ghost Rider as he released William.

"I showed him all the pain, misery and suffering he had caused." said the equally confused Ghost Rider.

"YES!" laughed William. "And you expected it to break my spirit?! HAH! I KNOW how much misery I have caused, AND I'M PROUD OF IT! I know exactly what I am! I'm a criminal GENIUS!".

Tim, Ricky and Ghost Rider looked on in disgust as William ranted on.

"No one thought a mere 17 year old could become the biggest drug lord in the world! But by the tender age of 20, I DID IT! Jimmy DeMarco could only dream of having the empire I do! There's not one corner of the world that doesn't fear me! If I could do it all again, I WOULD! I can make all of you.."

William was cut off as Tim threw a hard right hook at his jaw and knocked him out. William fell to the ground with a groan.

"He does go on, doesn't he?" Tim deadpanned.

Tim turned the unconscious William around on his front and cuffed his hands behind his back. Ricky kept Danny and Janice covered with his gun as the Tokyo cops approached to arrest them as well.

"Thanks for your help, Ghost Rider." Ricky said.

Ghost Rider reverted to his Johnny Blaze form.

"No problem." he said. "Now, hopefully, the race should go on with no problems.".

---

On the Mamoru highway, the Compton was still being followed by the ghost RX3.

"Okay, Dean, the back entrance to the temple is right through that field." said Sam as he pointed on the map.

"Okay, let's hope it works." said Dean.

"It worked for that guy Cyrus' truck, didn't it?" asked Sam.

The ghost car's engine roared as it came right after them. Dean gunned the Compton for all it was worth and drove into the parking lot of the Buddhist temple.

As it sensed it was nearing holy ground, the ghost car stopped short of entering the lot.

"Uh oh!" said Dean.

Suddenly, the ghost car was rammed from behind by the Journey. Adam and Jamie cheered as the impact knocked the ghost car forward.

The ghost car let out a defiant roar from it' engine as it entered the holy ground of the temple and faded into nothingness.

"YES!" said Dean.

The two Mythbusters got out of the Journey and approached the Winchester brothers as they got out of the Compton.

"Thanks, guys." said Sam as he and Dean shook hands with the Mythbusters.

"Hey, you two helped us out so it was only fair." said Adam.

Jamie had got out of the Journey carrying a beer cooler.

"Anyone want a drink?" he asked. "Everyone except the designated drivers can have one.".

"Go ahead, Dean." said Sam. "I'll take the next shift driving.".

"Okay." said Dean. "But maybe next time, you guys will be careful of which myth you try to bust.".

"Hey, lesson learned here, man." said Adam as Jamie and Dean each took a beer and toasted each other.

Tori, Grant and Keri climbed out of the back of the Journey.

"Hey guys." said Grant as he yawned. "Why have we stopped?".

"You ready for a shift change, Grant?" asked Adam.

"Yeah, I guess." said Grant.

"Good. Then I can have a beer too.". Smirked Jamie.

"So, did we miss anythibg when we were asleep?" asked Keri.

Jamie, Adam and the Winchester brothers burst out laughing.

---

The La Fuerza was racing down a road, keeping well ahead of some police cruisers which were chasing them.

"That bridge up there. You think we can make it?" asked Dylan.

"It's raising!" said Dr. Evil as he saw the drawbridge was raising.

"Got any better ideas?" asked Natalie.

"Do it, Dylan!" said Alex.

Dylan gritted her teeth and pushed the accelerator for all it was worth. The La Fuerza went up the ramped bridge and successfully jumped the gap to the other side.

"WHOO!" she yelled.

"Well done!" said Dr. Evil as he looked back behind them, waved and said "See you later, alligators!".

Mini-Me nudged Dr. Evil and handed him a note which he had written. Dr. Evil read it.

"Mini-Me says they may send choppers." said Dr. Evil.

"No prob." said Alex as she pressed a button on the dashboard.

The La Fuerza immediately became invisible.

"As far as they know, we're not here." said Alex.

"Great." said Natalie. "But you do realise this means we'll have to make sure no-one runs into us.".

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." said Alex.

---

Hunter and Watson were riding down a highway, each of them riding a custom motorcycle. Hunter's was called the Lycan and Watson's was called the Wolfsbane.

They were catching up with the Camper A.

"About time we found these guys again!" said Watson. "We've been chasing 'em since the beginning of the continent and couldn't get close. AND there was that time I had to bail you out in Burma after hitting that snack shack!" he added as he sneered over at Hunter.

"It was in my blind spot!" protested Hunter.

"The whole damn road is your blind spot, white boy!" replied Watson.

"Oh yeah! Then watch me deal with these guys!" said Hunter as he sped up the Lycan and got behind the Camper A.

Inside the Camper A, no one really noticed that they were being followed as they were daxed from the smoke from a joint that Wade had lit up.

"For god's sake, do you have to smoke that in here?" asked Sam. "I can't drive when I'm faded!".

"Hey, you guys need to chill." said Wade.

"Tovar totally agrees." said Tovar. "Hey, did you guys know that Ronald Reagan was the devil? At least that's what that Huey Freeman kid told me.".

Hunter smirked and pressed a button on his dash. A bright beam of light shot from the headlight of the Lycan and hit the Camper A. It was the EDB. Hunter didn't know about the defence mechanism the Camper A hd built into it.

The light crackled around the Camper A for a brief minute but then got shot back at the Lycan. The Lycan came to a halt as its' battery was shorted out.

"Shit!" yelled Hunter.

The Wolfsbane roared past him and Watson got alongside the Camper A. He got ready to attack.

"I mean, there are six letters in each word of his name: Ronald Wilson Reagan." Tovar continued. "Three sixes? Anyone see a pattern there?".

"I'm seeing patterns all over the place." said Nikki. "Seriously, you need to put that joint out before we have an accident.".

"Damn! I've got a major case of the munchies!" said Griggs. "I need some food!".

"Here you go." said Dutchmiller as he handed Griggs a sushi tray.

"I told you, I HATE FISH!" Snapped Griggs as he took the tray, opened the window and threw it out.

The contents of the sushi tray hit Watson and made him lose control of the Wolfsbane.

The Wolfsbane rolled down an incline and got wrecked against a rock. Watson had been thrown clear.

Hunter ran over and looked down at the mess.

A ticked off Watson walked up the incline and joined him.

"Any trouble?" Hunter asked sarcastically.

---

Near the ocean leading to North Korea, the Olympic had stopped at a gas station. As Nemesis slept in the vehicle, a motorcycle had pulled up. The rider was a member of the Flaming Dragons known as Wong. He looked into the store and saw Stone Cold, Cena and Tony inside. He sneered to himself and went inside.

"Okay, guys." said Tony. "That's about enough Doritos for the trip now.".

"Okay, Tone." said Cena. "Let's go pay and get goin'.".

"Hold it, partner! Not so fast!" said Wong in a fake Southern accent as he entered the store. The three racers looked at him in surprise.

"The Flaming Dragons ain't finished with the Cannonballers yet." said Wong.

"Oh, and they send ONE guy?" asked Stone Cold.

"This 'one guy' is more than a match for you, poser!" sneered Wong as he took a martial arts pose. "I can kick any of you fakers' asses in a second!".

"Who you callin' fake?" asked Cena angrily.

"Come on! Everyone knows wrestling is fake! You macho morons don't go out and hurt each other!" sneered Wong as he did a few martial arts poses. "I came to show you what a REAL fighter can do.".

"Oh, really?" said Stone Cold, laughing. "I hope you don't take this ass-whoopin' personally, son!".

As Wong let out a karate yell and ran forward, Stone Cold quickly kicked him in the stomach and gave him a Stone Cold Stunner.

Wong grunted and got back up again, but as he did, Stone Cold hit him again with a clothesline.

This dazed Wong but he got up again and glared at Austin.

"Damn, boy!" said Wong mockingly. "I thought you were bad ass!".

Cena threw a punch at Wong from behind, knocking him into a stack of shelves.

As this was going on, Tony had snuck into the bathroom and was arming himself in a very unique way.

The Dragons member got back up and sneered at the two wrestlers as they got ready to attack him.

"You ain't so tough!" Wong yelled with a mad grin on his face. "I used to trade punks like you for cigarettes in Juvie! COME ON!".

"Do you just love pain or something?" asked Stone Cold as he threw a punch and knocked Wong down on the ground.

"There! That should do!" Stone Cold said.

To his annoyance, Wong got back on his feet again.

"I ain't goin' down that easy, cueball!" sneered Wong.

Suddenly, Wong felt a sting of pain in the side of his neck. He felt his neck and found something stuck into it like a shuriken.

He pulled it out and looked at it in surprise. It was a Dorito.

"HWOAA!" a voice yelled.

Everybody looked and saw Tony standing in front of them. He was wearing a Samurai outfit complete with helmet that had been fashioned out of Doritos.

He even had a pair of nunchucks made out of Doritos.

Tony yelled and rushed forward, spinning his nunchucks.

He whacked Wong with them several times, dazing him even more. He then delivered a few tough martial arts kicks and punches to the Dragons member. Finally, he gave Wong a hard roundhouse kick, knocking him towards the check out counter. When Wong landed against the counter, the store clerk picked up a jar of candy and broke it over Wong's head.

This time, Wong fell down and stayed down as he was knocked unconscious.

"Good move, Tone." said Cena.

"Yeah. I never thought Doritos could do that to someone!" said Stone Cold.

Stone Cold went over to the checkout clerk and handed him some money to pay for the damages.

"Sorry about the mess." he said.

"It's okay. I'll call the cops to pick that guy up." said the clerk. "I see what you mean in the ring, Mr. Austin.".

"What do you mean?" asked Stone Cold.

The clerk then did his best impression of Stone Cold's voice and said "You disrespected ol' Stone Cold, and AH AH! That's somethin' you just don't do!".

Stone Cold laughed. "Always happy to please a fan." he said.

---

Charles Foster Ofdenson, Dethklok's manager and lawyer, took the stage.

"Uhh... I just received word that Team Girl Power and Team Car Guys are about ready to drift race in the mountains outside of Tokyo. So it is my pleasure to welcome Dethklok back on the stage to sing for this race."

Dethklok got on stage and prepared to perform their song. At a Tokyo mountain highway, the Towtruck and Hot Rod were waiting to start their drift race.

"Are you ready?" Amanda asked.

"I was born ready." Sean replied.

**Song: "Nothing is Gonna Stand in our Way" by Kick Axe**

The two vehicles tore off and started to drift along the turns of the mountain road. Back at the Melizanno, Damian was watching the race.

"My truck can drift!?" he said out loud.

It was the Hot Rod that won the race. Amanda was cursing out loud.

"Never challenge the Drift King again!" Sean said as the Hot Rod continued the Cannonball.

---

The Grunts who were riding the quads had caught up with the Boltus and had surrounded it.

Some of them had started ramming into the vehicle, trying to knock it off the road.

"Clearly these guys didn't hear about how we dealt with this problem in Midgar." said Cloud. "Shall I show them?".

"Knock yourself out, hot shot." replied Barret.

Cloud opened the passenger side window and jumped onto the nearest quad, knocking the Grunt riding it off it.

He then took control of the quad and pulled out his Buster Sword.

As the other Grunts tried to attack him, he quickly swiped out with his sword, causing damage to the quads and causing each Grunt to crash.

As some of the quads started piling up, a few of the oncoming ones crashed into them.

"Well done, Cloud." said Tifa. "You never get rusty, do you?".

"Not if I can help it." smiled Cloud as he sheathed his sword.

---

Meanwhile, Hunter was lying down in the middle of the road, pretending to be injured.

"This had better work, Billy!" he grumbled.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch! That's all I ever hear outta your big mouth!" Watson grumbled as he kept an eye out for any approaching cars.

He smiled as he saw a red Cadillac Series 62 approaching. He could tell that the car had been modified as its' engine sounded powerful.

The driver of the Cadillac, called the Manhattan Custom, saw Watson flagging her down.

She stopped the car, narrowly avoiding hitting Hunter as she came to a stop.

"You guys okay?" the woman asked as Watson came over to her window.

"Oh, thank God!" said Watson, pretending to be in a panic. "We need to call an ambulance for my friend! I think he may be a goner!"

While the driver's attention had been focused on Watson, Hunter had slipped around to the passenger side of the car, stood up and looked through the window.

"Get out!" he said.

"Huh?" the woman said as she looked around in confusion.

Watson quickly dropped his act and pulled the driver's side door open.

"He said 'get out'!" He yelled. "Come on, woman! Move your ass!".

Watson pulled the woman out of the car, kicking and screaming, and dropped her at the side of the road.

He quickly got in the Manhattan Custom with Hunter and drove off in it.

"YOU LOUSY SCUMBAGS!" the woman yelled as she reached ino her purse and pulled out a Colt Python pistol. She stood up and fired a few shots after the Manhattan Custom.

"Holy sheep shit!" yelled Hunter as Watson avoided the shots.

"Yep. That's one reason I always voted for gun control back in the States." said Watson. "Did you save our little bag of tricks?".

"Yeah." said Hunter as he reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat and pulled out a large bag.

"Good. Now all we have to do is find a Cannonballer and use one of 'em." smirked Watson.

"I think the sleep-gas bomb should do." said Hunter.

"Good call, mi amigo." replied Watson.

---

The Vegas was speeding along the road leading to North Korea.

Behind them was the Phantom. Feng laughed as he flipped a switch and a minigun extended from the truck's grill. A few more guns spouted out of panels and on top of the cab, a lone Grunt manned a machine gun.

"Looks like trouble." said Lisa.

"No problem." replied Homer. "I'll use the Barrel Shield.".

Homer pressed a button and the Vegas was enveloped by a round, plastic-like shield. It had been invented by the British secret service as a defence weapon.

"Chew on this for long periods of time, fat boy!" yelled Feng as he and the Grunt opened fire with the various guns.

The Barrel Shield stopped the bullets from hitting the Vegas. In fact, it caught them as they hit it and held them like flies fossilised in amber.

"Oh, wise guy, huh?" sneered Feng. "Let's see how you cope with this!".

He pressed another button and a flame thrower popped out of the front bumper of the Phantom.

"The Barrel Shield protects us from heat, right dad?" asked Bart.

"Yeah, but only for a brief time. I knew I should have had more defences added! D'OH!"

"Don't panic, honey. I know what to do." said Marge as she picked up the CB just as Feng fired a blast from the flame thrower.

"This is Team Simpsons! Any Cannonballers near us, we request your help." Marge said as the flames licked against the barrel shield.

Up the road, the Newman spun around and drove off in the direction of the Phantom and the Vegas.

"Team Simpsons, help is on the way!" said Peter into the CB. He then smiled and said "After this, that Simpson guy will finally owe me one. That should get him off my back!"

Feng fired another blast from the flame thrower at the Vegas.

"Shield's at thirty per cent." said Lisa. "We may not last much longer!".

Just then, the Newman crested the hill and headed towards them.

"A truck, eh?" said Peter. "Brian, activate the Damage Magnifier.".

"Right!" said Brian as he hit a red button on the dash. "Fasten seatbelts everybody!"

A force field bathed the Newman briefly. The Vegas swerved out of the way to let the Newman head right towards the Phantom.

"What is this?" asked Feng as he saw the Newman come right for him.

"WHAM!" yelled Peter as the Newman made contact with the front end of the Phantom.

Because of the Damage Magnifier, their special weapon, Team Griffin suffered no more than a slight dent in their front bumper, but the front end of the Phantom was completely crushed as Feng felt like he'd been hit by a train.

The wrecked truck rolled off to the side of the road.

Team Simpsons cheered as the Newman spun around and faced them again.

"Hey, thanks Peter!" said Marge.

"No problem." said Peter. "Now, let's see who gets to Korea first!"

The Newman sped off and the Vegas followed, trying to overtake it.

Back at the side of the road, the shocked Grunt got down off the roof of the cab and surveyed the damage. The Phantom was wrecked.

He looked into the cab and could see no sign of life. Suddenly, the drivers' side door was kicked open and a slightly injured but still angry Feng climbed out.

"Are you okay, sir?" the Grunt asked.

"You see me walking don't you?!" snapped Feng. "At least that wasn't one of the Captains!".

---

"We have received word that the racers have now mostly entered North Korea." reported GLaDOS. "There's only a little bit of Asia and then Russia to go before our racers enter the next continent."

"Well, we wish them all Godspeed." said Olivia. "At least they're handling the competition well.".

---

Xaldin and Saix, two members of Organisation XIII, were waiting on a large boat near the shores of North Korea.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" asked Xaldin.

"Of course it will. Because you and I are dedicated members of the Organisation, unlike that slacker Demyx!". replied Saix. "And there's no way I'm letting Xigbar get all the glory! Our radar will tell us when an ocen-going Cannonballer approaches, and then we just reel them in with our grappler!".

There was a loud bleeping from a nearby piece of equipment.

"Looks like you were right." said Xaldin as he checked the readout. "Cannonball vehicle in submarine mode approaching!".

"Okay!" said Saix as he manned the grappling device. "Just tell me where.".

Little did either of them know that the vehicle they had detected was the Job. It was getting close to shore.

"Okay, the radar says that the highway coming up is clear, Bam." reported Phil. "We should be good to go."

"What about that boat I'm detecting just off the starboard bow?" asked Rake.

"No police signals coming from it." said Raab as he also looked at the radar. "Just somebody's yacht from the look of it.".

"Okay." said Bam. "Forward all engines!".

Saix took aim with the grappling gun while Xaldin tracked the Job.

"Little more to the left." said Xaldin. "THERE! You got him!"

"Okay. FIRE!" yelled Saix as he shot out a grappling hook from the gun.

The hook stuck in the Job's rear bumper as the huge limo prepared to go onto land.

Because of the size and strength of the car, the line the grappler weas on was being pulled longer and longer.

The tug was so hard that the boat was starting to get pulled along with it.

"What the hell?!" said Saix. "Did we get Moby Dick or something?".

"Shit!" yelled Xaldin. "Cut the line!"

The force of the tug got so strong that the boat was ultimately ripped in half, with the Job dragging half of it along with it.

Xaldin and Saix stared as they were left on the other half of the boat as it sank.

"So much for that." grunted Xaldin. "Maybe Xigbar is number two of this organisation for a reason."

"Bite me." replied Saix.

---

The Manhattan Custom pulled into a parking lot at a restaurant in Kumgang.

Watson and Hunter smirked as they saw that the Aqua was parked there.

Both men looked and saw that Kyle and his team were busy eating.

"Okay, cover me." said Hunter as he took out the sleep gas bomb and a set of tools.

Watson kept watch as Hunter attached the bomb to the undercarriage of the Aqua.

After a few minutes of tinkering, Hunter smiled as he straightened up.

"That's that." he smirked. "As soon as these losers hit 160 mph, the sleep gas gets released and then it's 'bye bye baby'.".

"Great." said Watson. "Heads up." he said as he nodded towards the restaurant entrance where the UK Cannonball team were coming out.

"Hey, man!" Watson yelled over to them. "Nice car here. Good luck in the Cannonball!".

"Why, thanks, buddy." said Kyle. "Great caddy you got there yourself.".

"Yeah." smirked Hunter. "It was cheap. We practically stole it!".

Watson nudged Hunter.

"Okay, guys, let's go." said Speedy as he and the team got into the Aqua and drove off.

----------

Back in the United States, specifically in San Andreas, Luxord, another high-ranking member of Organisation XIII was flying a biplane called the Stuntplane in pursuit of the helicopter piloted by Carmen Sandiego.

"Okay, pal." Carmen said to herself. "You want me, come and get me."

**SONG: 'Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego' by Rockapella**

Carmen flew the chopper through the skyline of Los Santos, moving through the gaps in the buildings with expertise.

Luxord flew his plane as best he could but had difficulty keeping up.

"Uh, uh, sweetheart. You aren't going to lose me." he said as he determinedly kept up the pursuit.

The aerial chase continued for several minutes until Carmen got a good lead on Luxord and hovered her helicopter next to a skyscraper.

She pulled out a remote control device and pressed a button on it. A large hangar door opened in the side of the building and she flew her chopper inside.

The hangar door had closed again by the time Luxord had caught up and he was completely stumped as he had lost sight of her.

"Luxord? Any news?" Lothor's voice came over the radio.

"Uh, bit of a problem, I'm afraid." Luxord said nervously.

After a pause, Lothor yelled "Are you guys called Organisation XIII because thirteen is your collective I.Q. or something?!".

---

The Baron was speeding along the road leading to the North Korea-China border.

Marcus was driving and the car was going all out.

"I never knew a Rolls Royce could go THIS fast!" said Regis as he looked a little scared.

"Hey, with me behind the wheel, you'd be surprised what a car is capable of.". replied Marcus.

"Hey, guys. Wanna see if we can psych Marcus out?" asked Squeak.

"At THIS speed?" asked Doug. "Squeak that is either pure genius or really dumb!".

"Well what do you expect from Squeak?" asked Coop.

"Hey, Squeak. What's your real first name?" asked Regis.

"Kenny." replied Squeak.

"Then I've got an idea." said Regis.

Marcus kept his eyes focused on the road. As he got ready to head up a hill, Regis suddenly blew yelled "LOOK OUT, IT'S THE POLICE!".

Marcus was distracted and the Baron did a few doughnuts as Marcus tried to regain control.

As he brought the car back under control, he looked around and saw that Squeak was lying back in the backseat with a red substance all over his front. He was sitting very still with his eyes closed.

Regis gasped. "Oh my God! You killed Kenny!".

"You bastard!" yelled Doug.

After a pause, Marcus just started laughing. He then said "I can tell the smell of Heinz 57 from the smell of blood you know.".

Squeak sat up and looked disappointed. It was indeed just ketchup he had smeared on himself.

"Shit!" he said.

"I knew you'd been out of practice with the psych-outs since that game against the Frisco Ferries." said Coop.

"Aw, eat it!" replied Squeak. "Besides, it was Regis' idea.".

"Oh yeah." said Marcus. "Did I mention that my brother's a moron?".

He laughed as he started up the Baron and drove on towards the border.

---

Captain Chaos was behind the wheel of the Miyagi as it drove through a small town. Belle was greatly admiting her partner's driving skills.

"I must say, Captain, I'm glad you don't even need Natalie Cole to drive with confidence now." she said.

"Thank you, Citizen Belle." replied Captain Chaos. "I owe much to you and to Victor for giving me this power this year. I sense that Captain Fury is not too far away. We will have to work hard to keep our lead in this race.".

Suddenly, Chaos tensed.

"Hold on tight! I sense danger is near!" he said.

"What?" asked Belle.

Suddenly, there was what sounded like a series of gunshots and their front right tyre was punctured by a strange purple bullet-like projectile.

"Shit!" said Belle.

"Don't panic, citizen." said Chaos. "I can get us under control!".

Chaos swerved until the Miyagi came to a rest in front of a small sporting goods store. There the car came to a stop.

As it did, a black hole opened up and from it emerged Xigbar, the second in command of Organisation XIII and a couple of the Combine. It was one of Xigbar's bullets that had punctured the Miyagi's tyre.

"All too easy." sneered Xigbar. "Alright, let's get them."

As they approached, the driver side door of the Miyagi was flung open and Captain Chaos jumped out.

"DUN DUN DUN!" he sang as he assumed a fighting stance.

Belle got out of the passenger side, holding a tyre iron.

"What he said." she added.

Xigbar raised his twin guns but then thought for a second and threw them away.

"So, it's hand to hand combat you want?" he said. "Very well. This should be easy!".

One of the Combine let out a battle cry and ran towards Captain Chaos.

Chaos suddenly reached out, grabbed the alien soldier, flipped him over his head and threw him right through the front window of the store.

Belle rushed forward and struck the second Combine on the hed with the tyre iron, and then swatted it across the jaw with it, sending the Combine down for the count.#

Xigbar let out a yell and charged Chaos full opn, knocking him through the door of rhe shop.

Inside the store, customers looked shocked as Chaos picked himself up and proceeded to throw several hard punches at Xigbar.

Xigbar dodged as best he could but took a couple of hits.

Then, Chaos was beaned by a soccer ball. It had been thrown by the Combine who had been knocked through the window.

The Combine picked up a golf club and prepared to join the fight, but was struck down by a baseball bat swung by Belle who had gone into the store as well.

Xigbar grunted and picked up a baseball bat of his own and prepared to attack Belle.

As he did, he turned his back to Captain Chaos. That was his last mistake in this fight. Chaos picked up another nearby golf club and swung it between Xigbar's legs, connecting with his groin.

AS Xigbar groaned in pain, Belle whacked him upside the head with the baseball bat and knocked him out.

Chaos was impressed. "I did think I heard Victor say there was once a Miss Chaos." he said. "Would you be interested in the post, good Citizen Belle?".

"Thanks, but in case you forgot, I have a family." she said. "Now, I think we should skedaddle before the cops get here.".

"Roger that." replied Chaos. "I can fit the spare tyre in less then two minutes. Let's go!"

---

Not far away, Bellatrix Lestrange and Walden McNair were flying along on their broomsticks. Both had been sent into the field by Luciis Malfoy.

Both were currently chasing the Prison Van, which now had the Boogeyman at the wheel.

"This should be easy!" sneered McNair. "Wrestlers are about as dumb as muggles can get."

"You're just like Snape. All talk, no action." replied Bellatrix. "You want to prove yourself, get up there and stop them!".

"Fine!" replied McNair as he accelerated his broomstick and flew alongside the drivers' side of the Prison Van.

As he did, Boogeyman rolled down his window.

McNair turned to face him, but looked a bit freaked-out when he got a look at Boogeyman's face.

"Uh...pull over and let me see your driving permit?" McNair said, a bit unsure.

Boogeyman laughed and reached down with his free hand. He had picked up a handful of his worms and stuffed them into McNair's mouth.

McNair panicked and his broomstick swerved out of control.

Bellatrix hissed to herself angrily and flew alongside the Prison Van herself and got beside Boogeyman. She raised her wand, laughing madly.

"CRUCIO!" she yelled. She was using the unforgivable Cruciatus curse, which could drive anyone who felt it long enough to madness.

Her wand glowed, but strangely, Boogeyman looked unaffected. His face didn't express any emotion.

Looking confused, Bellatrix pointed her wand again and said "CRUCIO!" yet again. Again, it seemed to have no effect.

Tommy Dreamer leaned over and said "I don't think magic affects Boogeyman, m'am. After all, as far as we can tell he's some kind of voodoo thing himself. Oh, by the way, LOOK OUT!".

"Huh?" Bellatrix said and turned to look in front of her and saw an oncoming truck. She smacked right into it's windshield but suffered no more than a slight concussion.

She looked at the confused driver and said "Do you know the way to Knockturn Alley?".

---

Near Beijing, Hunter and Watson had met up with the rest of Cruger's crew, who were driving an orange 1968 Dodge Charger, not so originally known as the Dukes.

"So, you think that sleep gas bomb will work?" asked Kitano.

"Absolutely." replied Watson as he checked out a small monitoring device he had. "Those losers are running close to 160 right now. They get pushed to go any faster and that's them taken care of.".

"Okay, well let's not start kissing each others' asses just yet." Kitano said. "There's still a race to stop.".

"Yeah, and here comes our next playmate." smirked Jansen as the Bootlegger roared past them. "Shall we have a little fun?".

"We certainly will." replied Carson as she started up the Dukes.

The Manhattan Custom followed the Dukes and they took off after their prey.

---

Meanwhile, the Cheetah 2 was driving along through the Chinese countryside.

Jimbo was at the wheel. "I think we're making great time here. We should be in Russia very soon."

Then, there was a loud thud and a large dent was suddenly in the side of the Cheetah 2.

"What the hell was that?!" asked Cartman.

Stan looked out the window and saw that at the side of the road were numerous menacing looking Chinese children, all holding red dodgeballs.

"Holy crap! It's those Chinese dodgeball players Pip helped us beat." he said.

"The ones who use steroids?" asked Kyle.

"You bet your ass!" replied Stan.

Some more of the Chinese kids threw their dodgeballs at the Cheetah 2 and the bus took even more damage.

"If they keep this up, we won't last much longer!" said Matt.

"Hey, Jimbo, I think we should use our one-time Overthruster!" said Nath.

"Isn't that for emergencies?" asked Ned.

"Ned, I think this definitely qualifies." said Jimbo as he pressed the button.

The Cheetah 2 accelerated to a high rate of speed until the scenery became just a blur. As they were rocketed forward, three laser beams shot out of the front of the bus and hit a neaby hillside, opening up a dimensional gateway.

The Cheetah 2 passed through the gateway abd disappeared into the Eighth Dimension.

"WHOA!" the kids chorused as they had a look around at the weird vortex that was the Eighth Dimension.

"I wonder if this is the Bottomless Pit that ECW guy Boogeyman says he comes from." said Jimbo as he too looked around and tried not to get freaked out.

---

The Aqua was fast approaching the Asia/Russia border, going all out.

"Okay, compadres, hold on tight!" ssid Speedy as he put his foot down. HE failed to notice that the speedometer of the Aqua had just reached the 160 mph mark.

Watson's sleep gas bomb released its' odourless gas.

"Hey, do any of you guys feel tired?" asked Kyle.

"Yeah. That's weird." said Andre. "I mean, we pulled over for a rest stop back near the Great Wall.".

T-Bone yawned. "I think I'm just gonna get some shuteye." he said as he nodded off.

Andre and Kyle soon followed suit.

"Speak for yourselves, guys." Speedy said. "I'm still wide awake.". After a brief pause, he felt tired too.

"Or not." he added as he fell fast asleep, with his hands still on the wheel and his foot on the accelerator.

---

The Jackrabbit was on a highway somewhere in Siberia. Master Yo and Yin were both looking at the mao in a state of frustration as there was a long line of traffic in front of them, held up by a highway construction crew.

"We've got to find a way out of this!" snapped Yin. "This traffic's pissing me off!"

"Hey, I have an idea!" said Yang, who was driving. "I'll activate our off-road mode and we can go overland. That way!"

He pointed and showed them the snowy countryside.

"Are you sure that's wise?" asked Master Yo.

"Sure. I figure we could save about a hundred milee. Plus with off-road mode we can go over anything." replied Yang.

"What do you think, Yin?" asked Master Yo.

"Whatever." she sighed.

Yang turned a knob and the Jackrabbit's wheels suddenl;y increased in size and the body of the car raised up a bit. They then proceeded to turn off the road and go through the snowy terrain.

Behind them a bit was the Sentinel XS, also stuck in traffic.

Jessie saw what the Woo Foo team were doing and said "I'm following them! Anything's better than being stuck here for hours when there's a race to win.."

"Hold on a minute." said Giovanni as he pressed a switch. A large snow plough protruded from the front of the Sentinel XS and it soon followed the Jackrabbit across the Siberian countryside.

---

The Bootlegger was speeding down the road with both the Manhattan Custom and the Dukes on its' trail. Hunter had loweresd his window and was firing a few gunshots at Team Fury. With the power of Fury, Randy was actually able to swerve the car to avoid the gunshots. The chase was heading up a steep ztretch of road.

"Look out!" yelled Ricky as the Bootlegger roared towards a sign warning that the bridge ahead was under construction.

The Bootlegger crashed through the sign.

"Captain, I think we should have taken the low road." said Cal.

"I'm beginning to think you were right, good citizen Naughton." replied Captain Fury.

All three of the team yelped when they saw the end of the road up ahead, with a 50 foot gap between the edges of the bridge.

Fury quickly slammed on the brakes.

"Don't fear, good citizens." said Captain Fury. "Time for a very daring move."

Fury threw the car into reverse. The power of the reverse actually caused the Bootlegge to flip over in mid air and turn to face the way they had come.

They flew over the top of the Manhattan Custom as it drove onto the bridge, unaware of the gap. As Hunter and Watson saw the Cannonballers' car soar above them in mid air and land back down on the road, they looked stunned.

Hunter snapped out of it long enough to see the gap.

"HOLY F---!" he yelled.

Watson couldn't stop in time and the Manhattan Custom drove off the edge of the bridge and plummted towards the ground.

As the ground came up to meet them, Watson deadpanned "Glad we don't own this piece of shit!".

They hit the lower road with such force that they made a hole in it.

After a pause, both men opened their eyes.

"WE'RE ALIVE!" said Watson in delight and relief. "HOLY CRAP! WE'RE ALIVE!".

They heard the sound of engines approaching and Hunter remembered the pursuit.

"Bail out! Quick!". he yelled.

Both men got out of the wrecked Cadillac and clambered out of the hole just before the Bootlegger, now on the lower road, jumped over it and the Dukes, still chasing them, crashed into it.

"WOO HOO!" yelled Ricky and Cal. "Well done, Captain!".

Hunter and Watson looked on as their team mates got out of the wrecked Dukes.

"Fancy sseing you here." Watson said sarcastically.

---

The Cerrano was driving down the highway in Russia. Despite the fact that they were racing, Johnny Cage was enjoying the leisurely drive.

"Hey, guys, there's Kyle's team." said Liu.

"Wonder how they're doing?" asked Sonya.

"I'll pull alongside and see." said Johnny.

As the Cerrano pulled alongside the Aqua, Johnny was stunned to see that the UK Cannonball team were asleep.

"Uh oh!" he said. He started honking the Cerrano's horn.

"YOU GUYS, WAKE UP!" yelled Kitana, Liu and Sonya.

In the Aqua, the team immediately woke up and Speedy quickly struggled to get control of the car.

The Aqua swerved a bit but soon came under control again.

"Thanks, Johnny." said Speedy.

"Seriously, guys. Driving through Russia asleep?" said Johnny jokingly. "We're trying to win a race here not set a record!".

Everybody laughed.

---

"Alright, people!" said Adam. "We have our spy satellite ready at the very edge of Russia to see which racer will make it out of Russia and into the rest of Europe first."

"Here it comes now!" said Olivia.

"There it is." said GLaDOS as the car approached. It was the Baron.

"WHOO!" said Kevin. "There you have it! Team Beers has made it out of Asia first!".

"And I do believe their favourite band is ready with a suitable song." said Morgan.

"Indeed they are." said Olivia. "Here are Reel Big Fish!".

**SONG: 'Beer' by Reel Big Fish.**

---

As the Cannonballers headed towards Europe, the Towtruck drove through a North Russian town when Lara saw the Melizanno appear in the rear view mirror, with Damian driving and honking the horn.

"Ladies, our proper transport has arrive." she said as she brought the Towtruck to a halt.

Damian stopped the Melizanno and got out, handing the keys to Lara as she and her team got out of the Towtruck.

"She's fit as a fiddle once again, Lara." he said. "Good luck in the rest of the race.".

"Much appreciated." said Amanda as she winked at him.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and a vortex opened. From it emerged the Cheetah, driving slowly.

A slimy, spider like crearure was stuck to the windshield of the bus.

"Yuck!" said Jimbo. "Thank God we could only do that once!".

"Okay. Now let's WIN THIS GODDAMN RACE!" yelled Cartman.

"YEAH!" the rest of Team South Park yelled.

Lara and her team got back in the Melizanno and roared off, with the Cheetah not too far behind.

---

Somewhere near the border of Europe and Russia, infamous superhero Syler, crossed the busy highway. Until the Vertigo came speeding along and ran him over. Sylar went flying over the Vertigo and landed on the road. Luckily he only suffered minor injuries. Not only that but the impact knocked his shoes off and sent them flying about a hundred feet away from their owner.

The Spectre was parked on the side of the road and watched the whole thing. Doc quickly rushed out to tend to Sylar's injuries.

"Are you... ok?" Sylar stood up and faced Doc. Now Doc reconized him and the hated enemy of the Heroes. "Holy s---! It's Sylar! I've got to contact..."

Sylar grabbed the purple armored field medic by the throat. "Where is he? Where is Hiro?"

Back with the Vertigo...

"I know I left my Metallica CD somewhere in here Eve!" Adam said as they both searched for Adam's CD.

TO BE CONTINUED....


	11. Cannonballer Hooligans!

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Europe: Cannonballer Hooligans!**

"Well the Cannonballers are in Europe right now." Kevin said. "We'll have more news for you when we confirm with the betting table."

Speaking of which Adam and Morgan were hearing rumors that the Hogwarts Team are in trouble. Especially since their position in the race has stopped at a unmapped location in the UK.

"Alright! Everybody calm down!" Adam shouted. "I'll notify security and have them investigate the whereabouts of Team Hogwarts! Now can we please stop the fighting!"

Yuto and Lone Wolf drove up on the location of the Nelson. However they saw it abandoned. The only clue was a piece of paper with Hogwarts written in ink.

"Hogwarts?" Yuto asked in English. "What is that?"

Team Hogwarts were tied and gagged by a magic spell. They were taken back to Hogwarts and released in Umbridge's office. Who met them with a wicked smile.

"Welcome back Mr. Potter." she said. "You're in so much trouble for running away from me..."

The Olympic parked at a gas station in Denmark. Austin got out and saw the Aqua parked there as well, with everyone but Kyle in the Aqua asleep. Aus didn't want to wake them and he just went inside. Kyle was filling up a large cup with a suicide flavored slushie. Meaning it's all of the flavors available at the machine, mixed together.

"Some race huh?" Austin asked looking at the candy bars.

Just then a few members of the Flaming Dragon Gang entered the store. Finding the two Cannonballers finding some snacks. They walked over to Austin and pushed him.

"Can I help you son?" he asked.

"You start by standing there and getting the crap kicked out of you." said the leader of the three. "This is for Wong."

Just then a Dorito shuriken nailed one of the other two in the neck, knocking him out cold. The other two gangsters screamed bloody murder as Tony attacked them in his Doritos armor. The clerk gringed as the two were beaten severely by seasoned nacho chips. When the three were all taken out, the Cannonballers paid for their purchases and left. While the clerk called the cops.

As this was going on, in the part of Romania formerly known as Transylvania, the Spectre had caught up with the Elegant as night had fallen. Sylar had taken over the controls of the Spectre and was firing the vehicle's plasma cannon at the Elegant.

Goren was returning fire with his sidearm but was barely scratching the Spectre.

"Got you now, Hiro, you little SOB!" yelled Sylar as he continued to fire upon the Elegant.

Hiro was now at the wheel of the Elegant and managed to swerve to avoid the shots being fired.

"Hold on, guys! Help is on the way!" Grif's voice came over the radio.

The Chupathingy, the Puma, the Scorpion and the Mongoose joined the chase. Sister and Doc had managed to send an SOS to the Reds and Blues while Sylar had been distracted by his firing on the Elegant.

"I can't believe you talked us into helping your dumb ass sister, Grif." sneered Sarge. "If this sets us back, I'm gonna rip your nuts off and feed 'em to ya!"

"Hey, the only one who gets to threaten you guys is me!" O'Malley said.

"Hey can we clam it and help the guys out?" asked Church.

"No problem." replied Simmons as he opened fire on the Spectre with the minigun mounted on the back of the Chupathingy.

As the chase approached a large but abandoned village which lay at the foot of a castle on a hill, at Cannonball HQ Dethklok and DMX took to the stage to provide some accompanying music.

**SONG: "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne**

As the chase continued thorough the village, rounds of bullets and lasers were doing damage to practically all the buildings in the village and there was an explosion at least every fifteen seconds. In the castle, the angry Count Dracula looked out his window.

"Goddamn Cannonballers!" he sneered. "Every lousy year I come back from the dead and every lousy year they give me grief. Let's see how they like this!".

Dracula concentrated hard and suddenly, all the Cannonballers plus Sylar had been teleported into his castle.

"Whoa!" said Sister. "I knew I should never have smoked any weed. I'm seeing things!".

"You're not the only one." said the confused Goren.

"Greetings, my friends." Dracula said. "I'm glad to welcome you to my humble abode.".

"Who are you supposed to be? Dracula?" asked House, unimpressed.

"Yes." Dracula said in a deadpan voice.

"You look more like President Harris." said Donut.

"I don't get to choose who I look like when I'm resurrected, okay!" snapped Dracula.

"You teleported us here." said Hiro.

"Correct. And your stay here will be quite a long one." smirked Dracula. "You'll notice that I transported you here but not your weapons.".

"I don't need weapons." said Sylar. "I'd love to see what I could do with your powers!".

Sylar smiled and got ready to approach Dracula, but Dracula raised his hand and levitated Sylar up in the air and then slammed him against the wall.

"Don't play with the big boys, son. You'll get hurt." Dracula smirked.

Down in the village, Sheila and O'Malley were very confused.

"Where did everybody go?" asked Shiela.

"Great. More Cannonballers in trouble." said O'Malley. "And the more time this wastes, the more teams will get ahead of us."

"Hang on." said Sheila. "I'll let HQ know about this.".

**Somewhere near Hogwarts**

"I can't believe those wizard bastards took Team Hogwarts." Bam said driving up to Hagrid's cabin. They were joined by Team Alchemist, Team Mythbusters, Team Spartan and Team Supernatural. "So now we all have to save them from that bitch Dolores Umbridge."

"If you don't know anything about her, then why are you calling her a bitch?" Adam asked.

"Because she's a bitch for kidnapping fellow Cannonballers." Bam replied.

"I guess that's a good enough reason to me." Edward Elric said.

"I'll break in and begin the raid." Novak said. He ran up to the school/castle and ran into a invisible force field. "Where am I?"

"Sorry but there is a spell guarding Hogwarts." said a old man with a cane. "Only those with magic in their blood can pass through."

"Hey old man who are you and how do you know so much about this place?" Ed asked.

"I am Albus Dumbledore." Dumbledore said. "I used to be headmaster of Hogwarts. But Dolores Umbridge took over my position. Thanks to the Ministry of Magic being corrupted by Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters. But I happen to know the spell to help your friend and to remove the speel on the school."

"Okay..." Bam said. "Work your magic Mr. Dumbledore. Harry and his friends are holed up in there."

"Certainly and give Umbridge one for me." Dumbledore undid the spell and cast a spell on Novak that restored his memory.

"You know..." Mustang said to Ed. "Now that I think about it. Me, you and Al could've gotten throughout any trouble. We are alchemists after all."

"Maybe Al and I sure Colonel." Ed said. "But you didn't use a forbidden alchemy technique. So you probably wouldn't be able to enter."

The Cannonballers charged into Hogwarts and was met in the coutyard by Death Eaters.

"Who the hell are these guys!" Grant asked.

"Those are the Death Eaters!" Dumbledore stated. "Hogwarts is under attack!"

Sure enough there shouts and sounds of magic spells hitting everything. War was brought to Hogwarts, and that meant the Cannonballers had to find Team Hogwarts and fast. But first they had to deal with the Death Eaters. Novak runs up to one.

"Avada...!" the Death Eater was then kicked in the groin by Novak. His hood fell down to reveal that it was Lucius Malfoy.

Alphonse charged at Beatrix, but she casts a killing curse at him. Which only damaged his armor, as Al is nothing more than a soul fused with a suit of armor.

"AL!" Ed ran over and repaired Al's armor with his alchemy, metal alchemy.

"So you used a forbidden alchemy." Bellatrix said with a grin. "You're no different than us Death Eaters. Using forbidden arts everyday. Trying..."

Bellatrix had received a handful of worms from the Boogeyman. Team ECW had just arrived to help in the rescue effort. They saw their fellow racers were fighting the Death Eaters, and decided to join in. Pretty soon the Rumpo drove right into the courtyard, with Gob climbing out of the driver's seat.

"Hey we heard that Team Hogwarts was in trouble and we thought we could help out!" he said.

"We're definitely in need of more help!" Bam said as the CKY crew beat up on Lucius Malfoy. Phil eventually sat on Lucius, knocking the wind out of him. Finally Phil farted in Lucius's face, knocking him out cold.

"Phil with the win!" Bam declared proudly.

The Kimodo stopped at Drac's castle.

"I still don't see why we need to ask for directions to the Middle East!" Tobe said. Soon they knocked on the front door and were automatically let inside.

"Now this is strange..." Tobe said. Everyone was nervous about the interior of the castle. "Where is everyone?"

Within minutes tobe and his teammates were tossed out of the castle. Muji was captured by vampires.

"That was unexpected." Jing-Jing said.

Back inside Muji was handcuffed to a metal pipe in a dirty bathroom. A TV was placed in front of him. Once it turned on, Dracula was on the screen.

"My name is Dracula! We're going to play a little game!" he said with a smile.

The Meat Wagon was approaching the Transylvanian village, with all four members of Team Sooga on their respective motorcycles trying to outdistance them.

"You won't beat me!" yelled Abyo. "HI-YA!"

He jumped into midair and ripped his shirt off once again. Before he landed, though, a large vampire bat caught him in the air and flew off with him.

"That's what you get for showing off, Abyo." Ching scolded. "I guess we should go and rescue him.".

Ching, Garu and Pucca all overtook the Meat Wagon and followed the bat towards the castle.

"Crap!" yelled Jimmy. "We have to catch up with those guys and fast.".

"No problem". said Greg as he put his foot down.

As he did so, he heard Shiela's voice come over the radio. "Don't come through here, guys. It's a...".

Before she could finish, an even larger hoard of vampire bats flew under the Meat Wagon and lifted it completely off the ground.

"Trap." Jimmy finished for Shiela.

As the Meat Wagon was flown towards Drac's castle, Drac and Muji looked out to see a few more bats now carrying Pucca, Garu and Ching along with Abyo.

"Excellent, Muji. Thank you for informing me of your enemys' presence.". said Drac.

"Thank you, master." Muji smiled as he stroked his moustache. "This is VERY good for Muji.".

"Glad you think so." said Drac. "Have the vehicles put in the vault.".

"Alright we've learned that Team Hogwarts has been captured by some of their fellow students sent to retrieve them." Morgan said. "We've also learned that several teams have come to rescue them from their school, and are in the process of doing that now."

The Cannonball Band cheered to hear the good news. Now those who betted on the team now have hopes of winning that bet.

"Guys, I'm glad you got the message." said O'Malley as he had finally got through to Cannonball HQ. "Drac must have interfered with the signal."

"So, Dracula has captured some teams?" asked J.J.

"Yeah, and I think there's one more team on the way here." said Shiela as she was on the line as well.

"Okay. We'll send help right away." said Blake. "Is there anyone who could be of help in the area?".

"Yeah." said Fenderbaum as he checked the satellite feed. "Team Eureka and Team Gameavision are nearing the location. I hope they can help out, because the Capcom team have just entered the village the castle's in.".

Team Capcom had indeed arrived in the village and were now fighting off a few zombies that Drac had sent to detain them.

Ryu had managed to wipe out a whole squad of them by firing his Hadouken attacks at them and Chris had taken out many more with his guns.

Dante and Mega Man were holding their own against the undead warriors as well.

As the last zombie fell, the four fighters were exhausted.

They heard a slow, mocking applause and turned to see Dracula. "Excellent, gentlemen. My people could use men like you. And I don't take no for an answer.".

"Oh yeah, Drac." sneered Mega Man as he reached into his pocket. "What do you say to THIS!"

He pulled a necklace out of his pocket. The three other team members sighed in disbelief. It was a Star of David necklace.

Drac smirked and said "I say you should find yourself a nice Jewish girl.".

Mega Man looked at the necklace and said "Aw, crap! It's the other one isn't it?".

Drac snapped his fingers and then several more vampires emerged and seized Team Capcom.

The fight at Hogwarts continued as Bam put on some music and turned the radio up to its max. The song that played over the sub woofers and speakers was...

**SONG: "Underclass Hero" by Sum 41**

As the music was heard all over Hogwarts, the Cannonballers made progress in their fight against the Death Eaters. In fact there were more Death Eaters than even the Ministry of Magic thought possible. But the Cannonballers had to make their way through the Death Eaters and the students in Dumbledore's Army, fighting within the school. Even Dolores and the Minister of Magic had to fight off the Death Eaters.

"For someone who is not back they sure are coming in full force!" the Minister said.

"I wonder why?" Dolores added. "Unless they want Mr. Potter."

The figure that came down the hall next made the Minister lose all color in his face.

"He IS back..." the Minister said. "It's the Dark Lord himself!"

Voldemort grabbed the Minister by the throat and held his wand against the Minister's head.

"Where is Harry Potter." asked Voldemort.

"He's in the Room of Requirement..." Umbridge said terrified. "I locked him and his friends in there. Sorry Cornelius!"

Umbridge ran away out of fear. Cornelius Fudge was turned into a pig by Voldemort and wandered through the school. Hoping to find someone to undo the transformation.

In the dungeons of Drac's castle, Hiro popped back into the cell that the Cannonballers were being kept in after having teleported himself around the castle.

"Hope you enjoyed your little tour, Hiro." House said grumpily.

"Why are you such a dick?" asked Sister.

"Why are YOU so ditzy?" asked House.

"Hey, give it a rest." said Doc. "Were you able to find the weak points in the castle, Hiro?" he then asked.

"Yes." said Hiro. "Now all we have to do is let the guys who are on their way know about them.".

"No problem. " said Church. "Since I'm robotic, I can relay it to any Cannonballers' onboard computer through my brain."

"Then do it, you retard!" snapped Tucker.

"Okay! Jeez!" said Tucker as he did so.

"I guess we should be glad that Drac didn't think Hiro as big a threat as Syler." said Caboose as he looked over into the corner Sylar was in.

Sylar had been straped to a gurney and also had leg shackles on. He was wearing a tight strait jacket which had padlocked chains criss-crossing the front and a 'Hannibal Lecter' facemask.

"I'm gonna kill you guys AND Drac when I get out of here!" he sneered.

"The word is 'if' you get out of there." laughed Goren.

"What were you planning on spending the Cannonball prize on, fatbody? Donuts and coffee!" Sylar sneered at Goren.

"He has a point, detective." said Ryu. "If you really want to be good at fighting injustice..."

"Hey, spare me that crap, okay? I'm trying to lose weight." Goren said defensively.

"Try harder." said Dante.

In another corner, Garu was desperately trying to fend off Pucca as she tried to kiss him, just in case they wouldn't make it out alive.

"Pucca, I think he gets the message." said Ching as she rolled her eyes.

In the MX2000 and the Coach, Teams Eureka and Gameavision had got the information that Church had sent.

"How come Hiro didn't just try to escape as well?" asked Zoe.

"Probably he's tired from using his powers." said Jack. "Plus, I'd say he's a team player.".

"Okay, then. Let's dang well go!" said Larrity.

Todd took out his sword, Excalibur.

"I knew I would need this!" he smirked.

"Do you just get weirder every day?" asked Dean.

"Hey guys! We're right ahead of Team Eureka right now." said Mary.

"I think we need some music!" cheered Clarence musically.

"We hear you guys!" said Weird Al as he, Queen Latifah and Cletus T. Judd took the stage at CR HQ.

"We've got some money on you video game fellas, so you better do well!" said Cletus.

"Hey! No need for pressure, Clete." said Queen Latifah. "Here we go! For Team Gameavision!"

**SONG: 'Code Monkey' by Jonathan Coulton**

"That was great." said Victor as he and Brock applauded.

"I wonder how all that Hogwarts brouhaha is going." wondered Brock.

Finally Mustang, Winry, Al and Ed made it to the Room of Requirement. After they ran into Umbridge trying to escape. They were told about what happened to the Minister of Magic. So Gob decided to help undo the spell. Not really a good decision on their part. But everybody was finishing off the Death Eaters.

"How are we to get inside again?" Mustang asked.

"I think you had to think of what you wanted to do in there." Ed replied. "Alright everybody start thinking about Harry!"

They did so and the door opened to reveal Voldemort pushing a large birdcage like a swing. Inside the cage was Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Zombie!" Winry shouted at Voldemort. Then she pulled out a cast iron skillet from her bag of tools, and hurled it as a ninety-nine mile per hour fastball. Fortunately it didn't do severe damage to the Dark Lord. But it did knock him out cold.

"It's about bloody time you came to save us!" Harry said. Ed ran over and transmutated his right index finger, which is his auto-mail arm, into a key. He then unlocked the door of the cage. All three racers of Team Hogwarts got out.

"Now let's get out of here." Ron said. All seven left the Room of Requirement, with Voldemort left behind.

The Coach and MX2000 parked outside of Dracula's Castle. A ll of their occupants climbed out, and walked to the front door.

"Come on Henry." Jack said with a grin. "Everybody knows there is no such thing as vampires."

"I would actually agree with you Jack." Henry replied. "Have you heard of the disease Porphyra?"

"Not really."

"It's a disease where a person needs blood transfusions. The person shows the signs of a vampire. Hence the need for blood, because it helps them live. Unfortunately back in the medieval times, people with this disease were classified as vampires. As well of those that were buried alive."

"Is anybody going to get to the point here?" asked Dave.

"Well my point is that there is a scientific explanation for this Dracula guy." Henry said. "Because Vlad Tempes Dracula died a long time ago. So there is no way he could be living in that castle that has some of our fellow Cannonballers."

Carter knocked on the door to Drac's castle. Muji opened it.

"Drac doesn't want more Cannonballers! Go away!" Muji then attacked them. However Henry used his omniremote, which he uses to access stuff in Eureka. The remote reversed Muji's brainwashing and returned him to normal.

"What happened to Muji?" Muji asked.

"Dracula must've hypnotized him." Henry said. "Most likely through a TV."

"TV can rot your brain, but this is the first time I've heard it brainwash people." Larrity said.

"Well let's try another way inside." Dave suggested. "A more forceful way inside?"

Dracula paced around his front foyer. Waiting for Muji.

"Where is that blasted slave!" he said. "I told him to chase away those Cannonballers!"

Soon the Coach burst through the wooden doors. With the brights on. Dave and Jerry jumped out with filled balloons. Rubbing their fingers against the balloons, and creating a sound that vampires go crazy. Dracula and his vampires flew around the foyer in a frenzy. Trying to escape the sound of fingers against balloons.

"Now!" Carter and the rest got off the Coach and charged into battle.

Back at Cannonball HQ, Gorillaz took the stage for a song.

**SONG: "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica**

Zoe and Mary ran to the dungeon, and found the cell keys sitting on a key rack.

"Who would be that dumb to leave keys to jailcells just out in the open?" Mary asked sarcastically. Zoe just grabbed the keys and went to unlock the cell door to the free the Cannonballers.

"Let's get out of here!" Zoe said. Everyone ran out, leaving Syler inside.

"Don't leave me!" he said. "I'm afraid of the dark!"

When everyone got back upstairs, they joined in the fight. Both of Team Red and Blue fought zombies, while the other Cannonballers fought off fishmen, werewolves, and a rebuilt of Frankensteins monster. Which was named Frankie.

"Hadouken!" Ryu fired his Hadouken at Frankie. Which knocked the corpse monster on his butt. Mega Man fired his Mega Buster at Frankie, destroying it, then absorbing it's 'power'.

"YOU HAVE NECROSIS RAY!" the computer voice inside Mega Man's head said. Mega Man turned from shades of blue to shades of black. He tried his new power out on the vampires. They instantly showed signs of necrosis, and quickly died from it.

"Awesome!" Mega Man fired his cannon again and again. Infecting every paranormal beast within the foyer. Soon Dracula made a run for the exit. In which he made it, but was struck by a speeding Rattler, being driven by Master Chief. Dracula was sent flying hundreds of feet into the distance. Crashing through the roof of a catholic church.

"What did we miss?" Chief asked.

Dracula had landed on top of bowl of holy water, near the entrance of the sancutary, during Saturday night mass. The holy water immediately did it's job and Drac was beginning to melt.

"I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh what a world! What a world!" Dracula was within seconds, a steaming pile of vampire goop and clothes on the floor. The priest ordered a catholic clean up crew by saying "Clean up! Aisle three!"

The Cannonballers got back onto the road, and headed straight for Italy. Unaware that Syler finally managed to free himself and escaped the castle.

"Dracula is dead and loving it..." Carter said putting on a pair of sunglasses.

**"YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"**

Henry and Zoe gave him weird looks.

"What?" Carter said. "David Caruso does it all the time on CSI: Miami."

Jessie was driving the Sentinel XS through the Vatican. However she failed to notice that Pope Benedict XVI was in his popemobile, about to cross the street. She ended up cutting him off, just as the popemobile was only a few inches away from being sideswiped. This did not set well with the Catholic Church, nor His Holiness himself. Several Vatican bishops and cardinals donned racing pit crew jumpsuits, with the Pope's coat of arms on the shoulders, and the Christian Cross on the back. They quickly outfited the popemobile with nitrous oxide boosters, rocket engines and a V8 engine with a hemy. Benedict took off his hat and put on a racing helmet, then he hit the gas pedal and gave chase.

"Um Jessie..." Ash saw the popemobile chasing them. "I think His Holiness is after us and I don't think he wants us to confess almost hitting his popemobile."

"Oh shit!" Jessie hit the nitrous boosters.

Back at the Cannonball HQ, Reel Big Fish got on stage for an accompanying song.

**SONG: "Cannonball" by Five Iron Frenzy**

The Pope chased after the Sentinel XS, until James leaned over and started pushing Jessie...

"Jessie! Jessie wake up!"

Soon Jessie woke up and realized it was all a dream. She also realized she fell asleep at the wheel and had a minor fender bender in the Vatican.

"What happened?" she asked. "I had the wierdest dream. I dreamt we were being chased by the popemobile."

"Actually Jessie..." Giovanni said. "You ALMOST hit the popemobile. But since His Holiness is a forgiving man, and the fact he learned we're in the Cannonball. He's letting us off the hook, but only if Ree Big Fish plays a Christian ska song. To which they're doing right now."

As James took the wheel and drove off for the Vatican exit, Reel Big Fish took the stage to play Five Iron Frenzy's "Cannonball".

The Landstalker Mk II was speeding through Venice, Italy in boat form. As Shayla dodged the boats in this city on the water. Tim and Gin talk in the back, as Ricky sleeps.

"Well so glad we finally caught William and his group." Gin said.

"I must be honest." Tim said. "I didn't think we were going to catch them all so quickly."

At Heathrow Airport in London. Janice, William, and Danny were all extradited back to England. That was until Freddy Krueger cut the power to the entire airport. Effectively shutting the entire airport down. Flights that were about to land pulled back up into the air. Security tried to calm everyone down. During the anarchy, the three fugitives escaped and ran out to the airport parking lot, still wearing their chains. Freddy greeted them with a new car for them to drive in. A Freightliner semi-truck rig with trailer, called the Saxon.

"Get in, we're to take you to Africa! General Kazim is expecting you!" Freddy said. As all three climbed into the trailer. That was set up as a boat. "You won't believe how much time it took Mr. Bedlam's mechanics to turn this into an amphibious boat!"

Back in the Landstalker Mk II. The cellphone for the Cannonballers rung. Tim reached over to answer it. "Hello? Can you say that again?"

In the Italian winter sports resort of Cortina d'Amprezzo, Team Simpsons and Team Griffin were both racing through the town centre. Homer made a wrong turn and ended up driving onto a frozen lake where some people were playing ice hockey. The Griffins had followed them and ended up doing the same.

The people dived out of the way as both the Vegas and the Newman skidded on the ice, trying to regain control. The Vegas nearly ran into the Newman.

Stewie angrily glared at Homer.

"If that obese fool does that again, I'm going to ram him right up the..."

"Stewie, language!" said Lois.

Eventually both vehicles came to a halt.

Stewie got out of the Newman and angrily approached the Vegas.

"Stewie, don't do anything stupid!" Peter said.

"Oh, I won't! I leave that to you." Stewie sneered.

Bart had gotten out of the Vegas and appropached Stewie. Both kids tried to avoid slipping on the ice.

"What do you want, junior?" Bart sarcastically asked Stewie.

"You and your family are the biggest morons I've ever seen!" Stewie sneered. "Not only do you take wrong turns but you turn and skid around without making the proper signals!".

"So sue us!" said Bart. "God knows Matt wants to sue Seth."

"That beached whale I call my father may want to play friends with you lot, but I've a good mind to kick you up the ass!" Stewie said.

"Try it." said Bart.

Stewie went to try and kick Bart but Bart held him back by putting his hand on Stewie's head.

The Italian people started yelling at the two teams in their native language.

"I think we'd better go." said Marge. "We're disrupting their game."

"Okay." said Homer

Stewie and Bart returned to their teams' respective vehicles and they drove off the ice, with a bit of difficulty

Not too far away, Earl Hickey, Eva Wei and Tommy Vercetti were having a brief drag race along a long twisting stretch of road. At the finish line about a mile away, their various team mates were waiting and cheering them on.

"I hope Eva can do it!" said Koji.

"Of course she can, you moron!" said Stan. "It'll take a miracle for her to be beaten.".

"Pipe down you guys!" said Rick as he watched through binoculars. "She's taken the lead! I knew Little Mouse would do us proud.".

Earl began to move up to challenge Eva for the lead.

The Thoroughbred had a bit of difficulty navigating the turns.

"Come on, Earl! You can do it!" said Darnell.

"If he crashes do we get the money we bet on him back?" asked Randy.

Darnell angrily made a fist. "Do you want it in the chops, Randy?".

"Earl would say that would be very bad for your karma." said Randy in response.

"Karma my ass!" snorted C.J.

"It's true." said Randy. "I bet you Tommy won't win because of all the stuff he did in Vice City.".

"We'll see." said Niko as Tommy managed to get ahead of Earl and moved the Argento up to challenge the Quasar.

"You shouldn't play with the big boys, honey!" Tommy yelled over to Eva. "You'll get hurt.".

"I'd watch the road if I were you." Eva said.

Tommy looked back at the road and quickly breaked before the Argento went off the edge of a sharp turn.

As he tried to turn around, the Thoroughbred came back from third place and got into second once again.

As the two vehicles approached the final quarter mile, the Quasar led the way with the Thoroughbred always trying to pass but failing.

Sure enough, the Quasar crossed the finish line first.

Earl and Tommy's partners groaned in disappointment.

Earl stopped the Thoroughbred and got out of it just as the Argento finally caught up.

"Sorry guys." said Earl. "I know there are no rules in drag races but I couldn't cheat, especially against a kid.".

"You and your damn self-righteous crap!" grumbled Tommy as he got out of the Argento.

"It wouldn't do you any harm to take a leaf out of Earl's book, Vercetti." said Rick.

"Indeed no." smiled Eva. "Because karma has just rewarded him and you.".

"Huh?" everybody said.

"The only money I'm interested in is the Cannonball prize, and even if I don't win it, it'll be no big deal." said Eva. "I just love the rush in racing. So you guys can keep the money you wagered for this race.".

Everybody looked surprised and happy.

"Thanks, Eva." said Woozie. "You are certainly a very wise young person.".

"Glad you think so." said Eva. "Now, let's get on with the big race.".

"Hell yeah!" said C.J. as the three teams all piled into their vehicles.

"Alright this is a emergency bulletin for all Cannonballers." Damian said. "We've just received word and security footage at Heathrow Airport. The team of William O'Malley, Janice Foyt and Danny Cruger have escaped from police custody. From the footage we've seen, someone created a airport wide blackout and during the panic, the three escaped without removing their shackles or handcuffs. They're out there on the loose and their out for revenge against the Cannonballers."

Team Car Guys sat there in stunned silence as the news report of Cruger and his team escaping from police custody. Either that their stunned at the gay dance moves homosexual fashion reporter Bruno was doing in front of them In the middle of a crosswalk to be exact. Who also is really drunk from a drinking binge at a gay bar.

"Hi! I'm Bruno and I'm really drunk!" Bruno said in a slurred speech.

The Eiswolf sped through Europe, nearing the border to the Middle East, when the Saxon and Dog's pickup trunk reached them at the same time.

"There they are!" Dog said. "Those space bounty hunter piles of crap!"

"There they are!" William shouted. "Cannonballers!"

"Umm Dog..." Leiland looked into the cab of the Saxon to see Danny driving. "Look who's behind us."

"I don't give a...!" Dog saw Danny driving as well "Holy shit! Is that the same guy who escaped from police custody at Heathrow Airport?"

"The one, the only."

"Let's get them!" Dog said. "There is definitely a bounty on their heads!"

The pickup truck kept up with the Saxon. However Danny saw the bounty hunters and rolled his eyes. Then he slammed into them from the side. Knocking their truck off the road and destroying it beyond repair.

"Son of a bitch!" Dog said climbing out of the wreck. "Now we need a new car."

Luckily the police cruiser carrying Angel and Butterman arrived to help them.

"Can we get you a new car?" Butterman asked.

"Yes and something durable. Durable enough to survive a attack by a semi truck." Dog said.

The Melizanno went across the border first. They crossed into Saudi Arabia and sped along the highway, heading into dangerous territory. Every Cannonballer knows that going through this area is a gamble. As every Islamic nation in the Middle East may be unstable and won't tolerate speeders in their country. Especially Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran. Those countries have terrorists within them. Terrorists who will be eager to get their hands on a Cannonballer for a ransom. They don't want money. They just want their fellow terrorist brothers free from the United States. But will a speed junkie be worth the freedom of the world's worst scum?

"The Cannonballers are now entering the Middle East." Kevin said. "Godspeed Cannonballers and be careful."

**Author's Comment: Never before has any of the CR series authors ever had the Cannonballers go through the Middle East. I'm the first. this is the last time that I will split the teams in half. From Africa and the last chapter, I will be doing all sixty-two teams. Wish Turbo Man and I luck. We're going to need it for the last two chapters.**


	12. The Racers that Changed a Nation

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Middle East: The Racers that Changed a Nation...**

In New York City, the President of Iran took the podium at a U.N. conference, with talks about suppressing Iran's nuclear program. However Mohmoud Ahmadinejad wanted to talk about something so unforgivible, that it beats the west and United Nations trying to stop from

using nuclear energy as a power source.

"Ladies and gentlemen of this NPT conference, I have something to say." he said in English. "Something so evil, sinful and down right illegal will be entering my country in about a day. This is the Cannonball Run I'm talking about. Now I don't want you to interfere, as you'll clearly side with the Harris Administration than me. But I wanted to tell you that since you have already allowed this evil race to continue for years! Iran will finally do something about it! Ayatollah Khamenei has already made a decree, that if any Cannonballers entering Iran, will be executed on the spot as heretics against God and his will! This has been signed by me earlier today! I will fly back to Iran and prepare my troops to start killing!"

"You are bloody insane!" the ambassador from the UK said. "We've already okayed the Cannonball Run to go through Iran!"

"I never signed such document letting them speed through my country!" Mohmoud said. "I will not hear anymore of what you bastards have to say! You've always been against Iran since 1979! And you will continue to try and undermine my country because you think we're terrorists! Well screw you you tea drinking asshole!"

With that Mohmoud walked out of the building. The footage was shown at Cannonball HQ. To which Kevin and Olivia were staring in stunned silence.

"If you're just joining us race fans." Kevin said a bit startled. "Iran has just declared the Cannonballers heretics against the Islamic regime and will be executed on sight if they ever enter Iran. Now the United Nations will not tolerate the Cannonballers deaths on their watch. And are now trying to reach an agreement to stop Iran before anybody is killed. We'll keep you up to date on this situation, as things continue to develop."

Brock was in his office on video conference, with Fenderbaum and the United Nations delegations.

"Please tell me we have some idea to stop Iran?" Brock asked.

"We do have an idea but you may not want to hear it." said the delegate from Russia.

"Our idea is to let the Cannonballers enter Iran and stir up the wasp hive." Fenderbaum said. "Once they have Iran's attention, U.N. peacekeepers will be air dropped in Iran, to assist in removing the Ayatollah and the President from power. Then the U.N. will grant Mr. Mousavi as President of Iran. That way we won't have another Operation Enduring Freedom on our hands."

"That sounds like a good idea." Brock said. "I take it the Cannonballers are going to begin the revolt?"

"Yes they are." said the delegate from China. "They are a symbol of freedom for the entire human race. Just from the fact they speed all over the highways of the world. Plus they are a symbol of rebellion. It would be a shame if they didn't aid the people of Iran in freeing themselves from tyranny."

The delegate from the United Kingdom spoke up next. "We chosen Mousavi because he is clearly the real winner of the Iranian Presidental Election. If Khamenei didn't rig the election, Mousavi would already be in charge. At least this time Mousavi will have real power and not just the title of President."

"We've called the racers and told them to meet in Baghdad." Fenderbaum said. "Pentagon officials, U.N. officials and our team of mechanics are meeting the Cannonballers there to upgrade the vehicles. We need them ready to survive Republican Guard and Basij gunfire in Iran."

The Cannonballers were in Baghdad, preping their vehicles for their trip through Iran. Ryotaro and Johnny Blaze goes to place a bulletproof canopy onto their motorcycles. While the others replaced their normal windshields with bulletproof glass windshields.

"There we're done!" Captain Chaos declared. "Now those vile Iranians won't stop us citizen Belle!"

"We'll show them Captain Chaos!"

Over by the Patriot, Stan and Roger was hooking up more than just bulletproof windshields. They were attaching a gun turret in front of the back sun roof.

"Let's see those Islamic bastards who hate democracy handle this baby." Stan said seething with rage from news of Iran's decree against the Cannonball Run.

"You sure we should use a lethal weapon on soldiers?" J asked.

"We're in the middle of a war in the Middle East!" Stan replied. "We can't use non lethal weapons on our enemies if they're out to kill us!"

With his team glaring at him, Stan finally admits defeat.

"Alright let's aim for their tires when we use it."

The San Marino and San Marino Spyder sped into Iraq, and already everybody was greeting them at the borders.

"Let's hope that there aren't any insurgents waiting in the shadows for us..." Luca said.

The Atlus was the first to enter Iran. However something is wrong. No border patrols on high alert for the Cannonballers. There was nobody at the border checkpoint. Then the Republican

Guard ambushed the Atlus. Surrounding the vehicle and taking aim.

"Aim... FIRE!" said the unit leader, the car was pelted with bullets, However no bullets pierced the car's armor.

"I'm so glad I decided to install Phase Shift Armor and bulletproof glass onto the Atlus."

Kira said. "Now watch this..."

He entered a command into the laptop. Within the span of a few seconds, the Atlus transformed into a mecha. Luckily for the occupants, they were sitting in what is now the cockpit.

"Nice..." Shinn said.

"Let's kick some ass!" Kira said. The Atlus mech started firing back with it's arm mounted beam rifle on the left arm, and cut down several vehicles with it's arm mounted beam saber on it's right arm. The guardsmen dropped their weapons and ran away in fear. Screaming like little girls and some actually in need of clean underwear.

"Alright, we have to meet with U.N. peacekeeping forces near Tehran." Athrun said. "I only hope that they can reach the rendevous point with little resistance."

Elsewhere in Iran, the Camper A and the Camper B were both trying to outrun some attackers on quads and in a few pick-up trucks. In the Camper A, Griggs was hanging out of the roof hatcyh, firing a net launcher at their attackers. The nets completely enveloped the vehicles amd drained the power from them, as well and knocking the soldiers out. Momotaros was helping them out by using a ground-based stun beam from the Mitsumi that knocked the soldiers who'd fallen off their quads out before they could get back up.

"Be careful you don't get us killed!" yelled Catherine as she stuck her head up as well.

"Aw, shut up!" yelled Griggs. He got ready to duck down and handed a gun thaty launched EMP missiles to Catherine.

"Here, take care of things!" he said.

"Are you crazy?" she said. "I hate guns!".

Suddenly one soldier on a quad fired a gunshot which narrowly missed Catherine. In the process, it singed off some of her hair.

"MY HAIR!" she yelled. "Son of a (bleep)ing bitch!".

She cocked the EMP launcher and fired shot after shot at each of their pursuers, knocking out their vehicles and throwing the quad riders off their more and more of the soldiers fell victim to her non-lethal rage, Momotaros knocked more of them out with his stun attack.]

Catherine smiled.

"What did you think of that?" she said.

"Not bad." Sam said.

Catherine glared a little.

"Not bad..for a girl." Wade nervously added.

"Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo!" Nikki chipped in.

"Rambo..is a pussy!" Catherine said, mimicking Sly Stallone's voice. She then added "'Tango & Cash', 1989.".

"Glad Sly can laugh at himself." Dutchmiller said. "Especially after a movie like 'Over The Top'. Who in their right mind would think an arm-wrestling movie could work?".

Meanwhile, over at the Camper B, Manny was driving while Spinner got ready to fire a non-lethal weapon they'd been given at a few attackers pursuing them.

"Hang a 180!" Spinner yelled.

Manny turned the 180 and started driving the Camper B backwards. As he did, Spinner took aim and fired what looked like an Uzi out the window. It was, in fact, a rapid-fire paintball gun. He splattered paint all over the windshield of the two pick-up trucks chasing them, blinding them to what was in front of them.

"Emma, NOW!" Spinner yelled.

Emma leaned out of her window and shot some EMP missiles right at the engines of the pick-ups, taking their engines out as well.

"You guys either watch a lot of action movies or play a lot of video games." commented Ashley.

"Would you believe both?" asked Emma.

Spinner gave the finger to the Iranian soldiers.

"You like that, chicken-shits!" he yelled. "I've only got one testicle but I've still got more balls than you!".

He then bared his ass and pressed it against the back window as Momotaros fired tranquilisers from a small gun at the remaining soldiers.

"Spinner, have you taken your Ritalin today?" asked Manny.

"Yeah! I'm just glad we beat these a-holes!" replied Spinner.

"I hope everyone else is doing okay." Emma remarked.

Khamenei stood in his private office in his palace. Watching as his Repbulican Guard and Basij forces were dispatched to deal with whoever is causing trouble in his country. One of his aide's entered his office to report some new developments, in the war against the Cannonball Run.

"(I have some bad news, even more bad news and a bit of good news.)" the aide said.

"(Both bad news first.)" Khamenei said. "(If it's very terrible I won't allow you to live.)"

"(The bad news is that the Cannonballers have entered Iran. Nothing is stopping their advance. Even worse news is that U.N. peacekeeping forces have entered Iran as well.)"

Khamenei just pulls out a gund and shoots the aide into both shoulders. "(Give me the good news now. I take you saved a ton of money by switching to GEICO?)"

"(No... I saved a ton of money on my car insurance by leaving the scene of a accident!)"

Khamenei stared for a moment before shooting the aide into the stomach. Leaving the bodyguards to drag the aide to the nearest hospital.

"(Mobilize the soldiers we were given by the Umbrella Corporation!)" he said to a nearby soldier.

As the race neared Afghanistan, Adam and Eve were using their powers to take out a troop of soldiers. The Cheetah 2 caught up to them and the South Park kids looked horrified as Adam and Eve's attacks were actually killing the soldiers.

"HEY! We thought we'd agreed to non-lethal force!" Stan said.

"We know they're out to kill us but that's not cool!" Kyle added.

"They're not just soldiers! They're monsters!" Eve said.

Butters looked at the soldiers and said "They look normal to m..MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEIR FACES?"

As the South Park team looked, they saw that the attacking soldiers had glowing red eyes and pale skin that looked close to decopmposition.

"We heard about this a while ago." Adam explained. "Among all their other misdeeds, Umbrella performed experiments on soldiers working for governments like this. They became merciless killers infected with Umbrella's viruses!".

"And their sole aim is to infect as many more as they can. We have to stop them before they get to a populated area!" Eve added.

Jimbo looked ahead at the zombie soldiers, determined.

"In that case, I think a little thinning of the herds is needed.!" he said. "You two get behind us and we'll go right through 'em!".

"Okay!" said Eve as she and Adam got back into the Vertigo. "We'll take out any who try to come from behind. Let's go!".

Jimbo floored the accelerator of the Cheetah 2 and ploughed right through the first group of zombies. Some of them had grabbed onto the front of the vehicle, but Ned was able to take them out with his machine gun as he at beside Jimbo.

A few zombies in vehicles tried to attack from behind, but Adam and Eve used their powers to take out the vehicles and blow them up.

"WHOO! WAy to go, guys!" yelled Cartman.

"Keep going, Jimbo! Don't stop for anything!" Adam said over the communicator.

"Looks like we've got some help!" Jimbo commented.

Sure enough, a group of Hummers and Jeeps driven by the U.N. peacekeeping forces had joined the chase and were also helping to take out the zombies.

One of the U.N. guys was filming everything with a video camera so that their bosses could see the Ayatollah's crimes against his own soldiers by allowing Umbrella to experiment on them.

As the last group of zombies was taken out, the two Cannonball teams cheered.

"Thanks a lot, guys!" Jimbo said as he saluted both Adam and Eve and the U.N. Forces.

**Afghanistan-Pakistan border**

Osama Bin Laden exited his cave and base of operations for Al-Qaida. His subordinates were arming themselves for their mission, to capture various Cannonball Run teams, and to hold them for ransom. Either the United States military leaves Afghanistan and allows the Taliban to continue it's reign of terror, or the Cannonballers die. Bin Laden and his terrorists get into a Volkswagon minibus, and all but the driver open fire on their AK-47s, blowing holes into the roof.

The Gunslinger and the Bootlegger were having a drag race to Kabul. As they reached the final stretch, Mega Man activated the nitrous oxide on the Gunslinger and got ready to leave Ricky Bobby in the dust.

"Who's he think he is? Vin Diesel?" Cal asked.

Suddenly, the Gunslinger hit a pothole and spun a bit out of control. As Mega Man tried to regain control, the Bootlegger entered the Afghan capital first and Ricky's team cheered. The Gunslinger caught up and Mega Man looked annoyed.

"That wasn't fair! I hit a pothole!" he said.

"You should have looked out for it." Ricky replied.

"The sun got in my eyes!" Mega Man protested again.

"Dude, you're wearing sunglasses!" Randy pointed out.

"Mega, at least have the grace to accept defeat." Ryu said.

"Okay." Mega sighed.

"Besides, we're not out of the woods yet. I suspect that something nasty will happen before we get out of this continent." Dante added.

As the Glendale, the Thoroughbred and the Brooklyn all neared the Afghan-Persian border, Bin Laden and his men got behind them in their Microbus.

At the back of the pack was the Glendale and both Gin Rummy and Ed Wuncler III looked angry when they saw the terrorist leader in the VW's drivers' seat.

"Mother(bleep)er!" yelled Gin. "Time to finish what we should have done back in Iraq!"

"You got that right!" replied Wuncler as both he and Gin took out AK47s.

"How did you two crackers sneak those in?" demanded Robert who was driving.

"Hey, we prepare for any emergency!" said Wuncler. "NOw let's take out some trash!"

Both Wuncler and Rummy leaned out of their windows and opened fire at the Microbus. Bin Laden smiled evilly.

"Now we can say we were provoked, my friends." he said to his men.

Rummy and Wuncler's bullets harmlessly deflected off the VW Microbus.

"Shit! It's bulletproof!" yelled Wuncler.

"Any other bright ideas?" Huey asked sarcastically.

Bin Laden's men leaned out their windows and opened fire on the three Cannonball vehicles.

They quickly tried to swerve to avoid the fire.

"This does not remotely look good!" said Darnell as he drove the Thoroughbred.

"Just keep your foot down! We'll make it!" said Earl.

In the Brooklyn, Elmer Fudd tried to return fire with his shotgun but couldn't get a clear

shot.

"I wish we'd decided to have a flight conversion in this car!" said Daffy.

"And leave our buddies defenseless?" said Bugs. "You are so yellow, Daffy!"

"Oh, like we're really turning the tide of this fight!" Daffy sarcastically remarked.

One of Bin Laden's men had climbed up through the roof of the Microbus armed with a four-barrelled rocket launcher. He laughed and took careful aim and blasted a hole in the ground in front of each of the three Cannonballers. The Brooklyn, Thoroughbred and Glendale all drove into the holes and got trapped before their drivers could stop. Bin Laden brought his Microbus to a stop and he and his men surrounded the holes and aimed their guns at the racers.

"I'd like to see you filthy American assholes fight your way out of this!" Bin Laden sneered.

Adam and Eve pulled over near the twenty miles left to Tehran sign. Adam took out his binoculors and looked at the city entrances. They were all heavily guarded with checkpoints at every road leading out of the city.

"I thought so..." he said. "Looks like we'll have to find another way. We can't get through undetected like this... Not without those guards out of our way first."

"You're right Adam... But what can we do?" Eve asked. "Our best bet would be to storm the checkpoints but then we'd have the entire Iranian army on us within minutes."

"I've got an idea, but let's hope the U.N. goes for it."

The Patriot, the Bonsai, the Cerrano and the Miyagi all got ready to approach the camp where Bin Laden was holding the captive Cannonballers. As the four vehicles stopped, Buckaroo took out a pair of binoculars and looked at the camp, seeing all the al-Qaeda guards heavily armed and the hostages held in a cage.

"There can be no room for error this time, fellas." Buckaroo stated.

"Don't worry, good citizen. We shall not fail." Captain Chaos said. Over the radio, Lone Wolf's voice was heard.

"I'm ready to add air support, guys! Are we ready?"

K looked up in the air and saw Lone Wolf flying the Biplane, getting ready to move in.

"Affirmative, Lone Wolf!" K said. "Okay, guys! Mission is a 'go'! Buckaroo, Johnny, you're

up first!"

"A-okay!" said Johnny Cage as the Bonsai and the Cerrano drove off first.

As Lone Wolf flew the Biplane, he used his free hand to insert a CD into a boom box he had put in the cockpit with him and a very appropriate song started playing.

**'Through the Fire and The Flames' by Dragonforce**

About a quarter mile from the entrance to the camp, two al-Qaeda men were arm wrestling,

despite a scorpion crawling on the table near them.

"(Asshole!)" yelled the terrorist who was being beaten.

"(Homo!)" the other terrorist sneered back at him.

Suddenly, there was a mighty roar and the two terrorists were pushed over. It had been the

Bonsai's Roar Horn that had knocked them over.

The Bonsai and the Cerrano roared past them. The two terrorists scrambled for their guns,

but the trunk of the Cerrano had opened, revealing a blast-shield and a couple of gun

barrels. Two tranquiliser darts shot from the gun barrels and hit each terrorist in the side

of the neck, knocking them out. As that happened, the Patriot and the Miyagi followed their team-mates.

As the Patriot went by, Stan laughed and held his pencil with the Bin Laden figure on the end of it.

"Like how the pencil's stuck up your boss' pooper, assholes!" he said. "Now, I'm gonna go

stick a hand grenade up his real pooper!"

In the camp, Earl was trying to seperate Robert from Wuncler and Rummy in the cage as Robert was threatening both of them with his belt.

"You retarded honky assholes! If you hadn't shot at him...!" Robert was yelling.

"You mean you've forgotten 2001 already!" Wuncler yelled back.

"Come on guys, take it easy!" Earl said.

Bin Laden banged on the side of the cage.

"ENOUGH!" he yelled. "You needn't worry anyway! As soon as the broadcast is set up, you infidels will be dealt with!"

Bin Laden then heard the sound of a plane engine and a heavy metal song and looked up to see the Biplane approaching the camp.

"(Intruders!)" he yelled to his men. They all scrambled to get their guns.

In the cockpit of the Biplane, Lone Wolf laughed and lit a few bundles of dynamite. He then threw them out of the side of the plane and they hit the ground in the camp. As they detonated, Bin Laden's men panicked and scattered.

"(Get the hell out of here!)" one soldier shouted.

"(Stand and fight, you cowards!)" Bin Laden yelled.

Just then, the four rescue teams roared into the camp. Stan had taken control of the Patriot's gun turret and fired upon the Microbus Bin Laden's men had used and blew it sky high.

"Let's see them escape now!". he yelled triumphantly.

Belle activated a switch on the Miyagi's dashboard and a couple more tranquiliser guns extended from the radiator and she knocked out several more of the terrorists. Bin Laden scrambled to get hold of a rocket launcher and one of his men tried to shoot down the Biplane as Lone Wolf had dropped some hand grenades to cause more panic. Captain Chaos leaned out of his window and fired a taser gun at the sniper, taking him out of the picture and fired another shot from it at Bin Laden, causing him to drop the rocket launcher.

As the Miyagi and the Patriot kept the troops busy, the Cerrano and the Bonsai had came to a stop near the cage. Johnny, Sonya, Liu and Kitana used their fighting moves to disarm the guards who challenged them and then continued to fight them hand to hand. Buckaroo, New Jersey and Perfect Tommy used their tranq guns on a few more guards and Jersey got to the cage and broke the lock off.

"Come on, guys! Get going to your vehicles!". he yelled.

"Thanks a lot, doc!" said Bugs.

"How did you know I was a doctor?" Jersey asked.

"No time for talk! Let's go!" Randy yelled as they made good their escape.

The Miyagi came to a halt and Captain Chaos got out and challenged Bin Laden who had removed the taser dart from his skin and had got up.

"You are pathetic!" Bin Laden sneered at Chaos as he threw a hard punch at the Captain which made him stagger.

Bin Laden delivered a couple of other hard punches at him and dazed him briefly.

But Chaos came back and drove a combo of hard punches and kicks towards Bin Laden.

The terrorist leader hardly had time to recover before Chaos delivered a roundhouse kick to him which nearly knocked him over.

Chaos then charged Bin Laden and headbutted him in the stomach, knocking him through the wall of a makeshift hut. As Bin Laden groaned and tried to get back up, Chaos grabbed a handful of sand and threw it into his face, blinding him.

Chaos forced Bin Laden to stand up again and drove two more hard punches into his stomach, causing him to cough up sand.

Chaos glared in a determined way and threw the final punch which sent Bin Laden crashing

through another wall and knocked him out. Belle looked with great pride at Chaos.

"That neurotic cop with the driving problem I used to know has come a long way." she said.

"I knew he had potential.".

Stan climbed off of the Patriot's gun turret and folded Bin Laden's hands behind his back

and handcuffed him.

"Now all we have to do is find Tim and turn this piece of shit over to him." Stan said in

satisfaction.

"You guys did great!" Earl yelled. "Whatever bad karma you may have earned is surely

stricken from the record now!"

As they all cheered, a few more Cannonballers and U.N. troops moved in, ready to take over.

The guards at the checkpoints were doing anything to keep themselves entertained. Then they saw over a dozen headlights growing larger and they got ready to fire on what they thought were Cannonballers. As Tehran's borders were closed to everybody right now. And suspected Cannonballers were shot on sight. However their eyes went wide, when they saw it was the United Nations leading the pack and the Cannonballers were following close behind.

"(The United Nations is here! We're so screwed!)" said the general of the Republican Guard shouted, and ever soldier at the checkpoint scattered, as both the Cannonballers and the U.N. drove on through into the city limits.

Khamenei ran out to the balcony, to the sound of everybody in Tehran, who don't support Khamenei's government, shouting and cheering. It angered him, and he knew what had made them get up on their rooftops to cheer like that... the United Nations and Cannonballers have entered his city.

"(Kill them all! NOW!") he ordered the Basij. They nodded and ran to inform the others to get ready for a fight.

"Looks like Khamenei was expecting us..." Eve said as the Basij was nearing their location.

"He must've saw the support we have." Adam replied. "Let's get ready to fight for the freedom of Iran!"

**SONG: "Uprising" by Muse**

The Vertigo's tesla stun cannons popped out of the front end of the car. Then the U.N. Humvee in front of them had it's gun turret armed. Soon the vehicles reached the Ayatollah's palace, where and non lethal one sided fight broke out between the Cannonballer vehicles and Basij forces. It was one sided as Basij didn't get one shot in, they were all knocked unconscious by the non lethal weapons on the Cannonballer vehicles. Team AVANLANCHE climbed out of the Boltus, as they ran towards the palace itself.

"Ya all hold these guys off!" Barret exclaimed. "We'll get Khamenei!"

"Good luck!" Heather shouted.

Solid Snake, Ethan, Sam and Mitchell snuck up to a unsuspecting and nervous Basij soldier. Who knew there was fighting going on nearby, but was watching out for Cannonballers. Not knowing four was sneaking up behind him. When they were close, they all struck at the same time and beat the guard into unconsciousness.

While they were doing that Team Beers and Team Angels were handling some more Basij soldiers inside the palace.

"(Women shouldn't be here fighting! They should be in the kitchen making me a sandwich!)" said one soldier to Alex in Persian.

"You did NOT just say that!" Alex replied. Alex responded to the insult to women, by kicking the guy in the groin. Cooper stops trying to gross out his opponent, by turning his attention to Alex.

"I have no idea what he just said, but I agree with your actions Alex!" he said. "Womens rights forever nappy headed ho!"

Alex gets offended and begins chasing Cooper, who runs away screaming like a little girl.

Back outside Ghost Rider was tying the Basij soldiers up in chains, to the balcony of the palace. Inside Team AVANALANCHE was hog tying Khamenei, whom they promptly threw over the balcony and onto the grassy ground below. Where he was quickly taken by the United Nations.

"Iran is finally free from opression and staged presidental elections!" Adam said. "What's the status of the President?"

Just then the Grand Valley, Fury Cruizer, Walton, Cerva, Jackrabbit, NRG V8, Pangea the Keystone, and the Rattler pulled into the compound. With the Rattler's trunk making noise. Arbitor gets out and opens the trunk for everybody. Sure enough is the now former president of Iran, Mohmoud Ahmadinejad, tied and gagged and looking a bit beat up.

"He wouldn't give up so easily nor go with us quietly." Arbitor said.

"Well he's the last one we needed to capture. Now it's time to get Mousavi into office as the new president and sole ruler of Iran." Adam said. "Maybe now negotiations with the United States can take place without any trouble. I'll inform the U.N. to help free all of the political prisoners. They deserve to be freed now that we've brought down the tyrannts that threw them in jail in the first place."

"Who'd have thought it?" asked Jamie Blake. "The Middle East has been pacified thanks to an illegal race."

"I'm surprised the masked moron could pull it off." said Fenderbaum.

"Hey, watch it!" said J.J. "You are talking about my friends' creation.".

"Don't worry, J.J., I can take an insult now and then." Victor smirked.

"Well, there you have it folks." said Morgan. "The race has succesfully passed through

hostile territory. Doubts were there but faith has paid off!".

"Not only that but the Cannonballers have succesfully aided the U.N. in the capture of one of the worst terrorists in the world and aided in the unseating of an unjust government!" Kevin added.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think I need a rest after all that intensity." said Olivia.

"Yeah, I agree." said Adam. "The band have agreed to give us a bit of relaxing music.".

Cletus T. Judd had taken the stage with an acoustic guitar and was accompanied by Reel Big Fish.

"Now to take things down a little." Cletus said. "But we wish the Cannonballers the best of

luck in Africa.".

The band started to play.

**SONG: 'Late Goodbye' by Poets of The Fall**

The Fury Cruizer was leading the pack of Cannonballers heading out of the Middle East and to their last destination, Africa. With the Walton and Cerva following closely behind.

"Can't this piece of shit go any faster!" Shao Kahn asked.

"Can't this piece of junk go any faster!" Marco asked.

"Keep going Casey!" Lily encouraged Casey, but pedal was pushed down as fast it would go. Soon the Fury Cruizer reached the next checkpoint first.

As the last of the Cannonballers made their exit from the Middle East, the Rumpo was trying to outdistance the Five-O. Angel and Butterman were still in it but now Dog and his team were with them.

"Don't let them get away!" Dog yelled.

"Look, do you want to drive?" Angel snapped.

As the Rumpo rounded a corner, it quickly swerved to avoid hitting a stalled vehicle.

"That was close!" said George-Michael.

The Five-O made the same turn but swerved more erratically, eventually going off the road and puncturing a tyre.

"Goddamn it!" said Dog.

The bounty hunters and the two British cops got out of the car.

"No problem." said Butterman. "We can just change it. The jack went over there when we crashed. I'll go get it."

Butterman went to get the jack which had been thrown from the car as it had swerved.

"Is this gonna take long?" Dog demanded.

"Well we can't drive it on the rim, you know!" Angel said.

"I oughta drive YOU on the rim for not being able to get me a proper replacement vehicle!" Dog said.

"Well at least I'm a legitimate law enforcer!" Angel snapped in return.

"Oh! Wanna cha-cha?" said Dog as he got ready for a fight.

"Any time!" said Angel as he got ready as well.

Leland, Justin and Tim all went to the two fighters and tried to keep them apart as Butterman approached the Five-O with the jack. Suddenly, there was an engine roar and he saw the Negotiator coming towards him.

"Shit!" he yelled as he got out of the way.

The Negotiator kept going and crushed the Five-O. The law enforcers looked on in shock. Inside the Negotiator, Liquid Snake approached Otacon with a repaired pair of glasses.

"There! I fixed your glasses. You COULD have let me take over." Liquid said.

"I wish I had, because I think we just hit something." Otacon said as he let Leon take over

the controls of the Negotiator.

"We did!" Leon said as he looked through the periscope snd saw the remains of the Five-O behind them and Dog, Angel and their team-mates yelling at them.

"Oops!" said Otacon. "Next time, I WILL let someone else take over if my glasses get broken."

"As you are an anime fan, I think I definitely have to say...BAKA!" Leon yelled.


	13. Welcome to the Jungle

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Author's Note: Well it's down to the wire... Two more chapters to go... Please be sure you've voted in my poll on deciding who will win the Cannonball Run. Because the poll closes in two days from the time I post this chapter.**

**Africa: Welcome to the Jungle**

Kevin and Olivia sit in front of the camera, playing Go Fish as they fail to notice that they're on the air.

"Hey you're on!" the cameraman whispered, the two stopped their card game to smile and address the worldwide audience.

"Well the Cannonballers have begun their trip through Africa." Kevin said. "And with this being the last continent, you know the race is going to be getting even tougher. But we still have no prize money to give the winners. But I am told the Cannonballers will be detaining and interrogating anybody with knowledge of who stole the prize money, and the do know who to capture and 'interrogate'."

Well Kevin was right in that the Cannonballers knew who to go after, as Team Vercetti had just captured Demyx, who was trying to take them out with his Japanese sitar, and chosen to hold him over the crocodile infested Nile River, on a tree branch.

"Oh come on guys! Not even I know where the money went!" Demyx said as he is only dangling a foot away from the water and the crocodiles are gathering below him, waiting for him to fall in and make him their meal for the day.

"You know we could just slowly cut the rope." Woozie said.

"Okay fine! That chick from Umbrella was given the prize money by Carmen Sandiego! It's in Mali, but good luck at trying to get it back. Because General Kazim leads that country with a iron fist and fear. He even released some kind of new diease in his country to ensure the respect from his people."

"That wasn't so bad." Woozie said. "Thank you."

All four got back into the Magnum and left, leaving Demyx dangling over the river.

"Son of a whore!" he shouts out.

XXX

The Melizanno, the San Marino Spyder and the Compton were all racing through a small town in the Sudan, avoiding attacks from both Kazim's troops and a few mutations set loose by the Umbrella Corporation.

Lara fired a few shots from her twin pistols while Natasha drove the Melizanno. Ahead of them, the Winchester brothers launched a few missiles at a wave of the mutations as they sped on.

"Good job, Sam." said Dean as Sam took out an advancing group of mutated lions. "Now if we can just get out of here.".

"You're the one who's driving!" Sam retorted.

Suddenly, the Melizanno swerved around the Compton and took the lead.

"Sorry guys, but it's still a race!" Amanda called.

"You could have just honked the horn, Nat!" Heather said.

"That would have been rude." Natasha replied.

"Okay, just get us ahead while I reload." said Lara. "Any more nasties and I'll take cared of them.".

The Melizanno plowed through another lion mutant, splattering it over the windshield. Natasha winced and activated the wipers.

"Those girls are something!" Dean said in admiration.

"I bet that gives you an idea for another porn website, huh?" said Sam. "Busty jumpsuit babes dot com, right?".

Behind them, the San Marino Spyder was making up ground. Takeshi had already braked and turned the car sideways making two jeeps full of Kazim troops go off the road and into a nearby river.

As he started up and drove off again, he smirked.

"Another car chase cliche: cars love to drown." he said.

"Less chit-chat, more go-go!" said Liz. "We need to get ahead and find out where Sandiego is handing over the cash".

As the Melizanno and the Compton still jockied for the lead, two trains went across a railroad crossing near the edge of the town. Both Natasha and Dean gritted their teeth and managed to jump their vehicles over a pair of flat train cars and landed on the other side.

The San Marino Spyder missed the two flat cars as it caught up, but briefly, two cars with an open door in each passed each other ansd Takeshi jumped his car through the gap and also reached the other side.

"I'd hate to be a stuntman doing twenty takes of that!" Liz remarked.

As the three Cannonball vehicles had managed to leave their pursuers in the dust they approached a bridge. Little did they know that as they went onto the bridge, a group of Kazim loyalists detonated a bomb at the base of the bridge and it began to collapse behind.

"Holy S-H-I-T!" sam yelled.

"Hang on!" said Dean as he activated their nitrous. Natasha and Takeshi did the same as more and more bits of the bridge dropped off.

"Watch out for that hole on the right!" said Liz.

"I wasn't gonna drive in there!" replied Takeshi.

The Melizanno avoided falling off an impromptu ramp that had been made by the collapse.

"That was TOO close!" said Lara.

"No sweat! I can handle this!" said Natasha.

As the three cars neared the end, Dean went up another 'ramp'.

"Okay, this is the last jump!" he said to sam as they jumped...and landed on another 'ramp'.

"Correction, this is the last one!" Dean said sheepishly.

"Are you sure?" said Sam.

"YES!" Dean yelled in annoyance.

The three cars reached the other end of the bridge in safety. As they prepared to head off on their way, they noticed the Cerrano parked at the side of the road. They also saw Team Kombat fighting with a group of Tengas and Grunts.

"What the...?" said Takeshi as he brought the San Marino Spyder to a halt.

Seeing that Team Kombat needed help, Liz leapt out of the car and joined in the fight with her Capoeira skills. Takeshi joined in with some martial arts of his own.

"Oh great, another fight!" said Natasha as the Melizanno and the Compton stopped as well.

"Shall we join the fracas, girls?" asked Lara.

"Of course." said Amanda and Heather in unison.

"What happened, you guys?" Liz called over to Liu as she fought off a pair of Tengas.

"THese guys were waiting to amush a few Cannonballers but we got the drop on them." said Liu as he took out three Grunts with a flying kick.

Kitana and Sonya took out a group of Tengas with a combination of Sonya's martial arts and Kitana's fan attacks.

Heather, Lara, Amanda and Johnny finished off the remaining Grunts while Takeshi knocked out the last Tenga.

"After seeing your moves, I bet you get pissed off when people say wrestling not for real." said Johnny.

"Bet your ass!" said Heather. "That was a hell of a workout.".

One of the Grunts got ready to get back up, but found himself staring down two shotgun barrels as the Winchester brothers took aim at him.

"I think you should quit while you're ahead, buddy!" said Sam.

"Amen." chipped in Dean.

"It doesn't matter." the Grunt snarled. "You guys are never gonna get back to the States in one piece...or with the prize money!".

"We'll see." said Sonya as she pulled out a tranquiliser gun. "Night night."

She shot a tranq dart into the Grunt's leg and knocked him out.

"Now, let's make tracks." said Kitana.

"I hope the others aren't having this much trouble." said Natasha.

"Don't say that! You'll jinx them!" said Sam.

"Sorry." Natasha replied sheepishly.

XXX

In fact Sam was a little too late in warning Natasha jinxing the other Cannonballers. As Team Geki was stopped a dozen tyrants on them. They quickly transform and fight the Tyrants to the best of their ability, with the core three activating their Kageki to become Super Gekirangers.

"(These things are tough!)" Retsu said. "(But we have to win!)"

XXX

In Khartoum, the Coach was managing to outrdistance both the Hot Rod and the Aqua as they

pursued it. Dave was behind the wheel of the Coach and kept manouevering the bus to prevent

either of the street racer teams from getting through.

"Oh come on, Dave!" said Jerry. "It's not such a big deal if we come in second."

"Wash your mouth out, son!" snapped Larrity. "Don't you forget that I wanted this company to

make me money!".

"What is it with you, Jerry?" asked Dave. "Every time opportunity knocks you turn into a

big, fat pussy.".

"Better than being a douche like you are!" said Dean.

"Oh, says you, retard!" said Black Steve.

"Shut up!" yelled Dean.

"You shut up, you potato head!" yelled Black Steve as he shoved Dean.

Dean fell right into Dave and caused him to swerve the bus wildly.

The Coach eventually swerved across two lanes of traffic and blocked each of them as it went

sideways.

"Hang on! I can do this!" said Memphis in the Hot Rod as he turned and drove the car up the

back ramp of a car transporter truck that was in front of them. Team Car Guys all whooped

with joy as they jumped over the Coach. They landed safely on the other side and sped off.

Meanwhile, the Aqua had driven onto the sidewalk and Speedy honked the horn as they narrowly

avoided hitting any pedestrians. As they passed a very ticked-off old lady, she whacked the

car with her umbrella.

"Sorry!" said Speedy.

They too passed the blockage and roared off.

"Way to go, Dave." Mary said sarcastically in the Coach.

"Aw, eat it, woman!" Dave said in response.

"HEY! You apologise to the lady, boy!" said Larrity.

"Show me a lady and I will!" replied Dave.

Both Mary and Clare angrily launched themselves at Dave and started a fight.

"Hey! Shouldn't we get going?" asked Todd.

"Shut up! I'm enjoying this!" said Benny as he watched the fight.

XXX

Team Banzai were driving along towards N'djamena in Chad when as New Jersey took a phone

call.

"Are you serious, Rawhide?" he asked. After a pause, he said "Okay, I'll let him know.".

As he hung up the phone, he looked at Buckaroo with a concerned expression.

"Apparently there was a break-in at the Institute's garage. They stole that test vehicle

Murdock and B.A. let us keep last year." New Jersey said.

"You mean the SLF450X?" asked Buckaroo.

"Yeah! Rawhide, Reno and Pinky are all kicking themselves that they let security slip like

that." said Jersey.

"Well, it was probably poker night last night." Buckaroo said, smiling.

"You don't seem too concerned, Buck." said Perfect Tommy.

"Well, you see, the SLF was being fixed. It has a problem holding together when it reaches

150 mph. So whoever stole it will find some trouble when they try to use it." said

Buckaroo. He then pulled out his go-phone and pressed a button on it. "And I just activated

the homing device. We'll find it.".

Jersey had a look at the map on the go-phone. "It's in Tanzania according to this.".

"Well, then, hang on, guys!" said Buckaroo as he put his foot down. "Time to get the eff out

of Dodge!".

XXX

In Dodome, Tanzania, O'Malley and a lot of his troops had regropued and were now getting

ready for an all-out assault.

"Alright! This is it! No more foul-ups!" said O'Malley. "I'm going to Mali right now to

negotiate the return of the prize money with General Kazim. The rest of you are to find the

Cannonballers, and TERMINATE with extreme prejudice.".

He turned to Master Feng who was standing along with Tong Po. "Especially YOU, Feng! I want

Captain Chaos and Captain Fury taken out of the equation permanently. That way these racing

rejects will see that nobody makes a fool of us and gets away with it!".

"It will be my pleasure." said Feng. "I even brought a special vehicle to be prepared.".

He gestured towards a black Lincoln Town Car Hearse called the Romero.

"Excellent. Make sure it will be used wisely." said O'Malley. "Now all of you, get your

arses in gear!".

The various villains all made statements of agreement and went for their vehicles. Foyt and

Cruger went for the futuristic car known as the SLF450X which Watson and Hunter had stolen

from the Banzai Institute.

"Ironic, a Cannonballer's own weapon being used against the Cannonballers." said Foyt.

"Life's a bitch, isn't it?"

"True." said Cruger as he started up the SLF's engine with a powerful hum.

XXX

Somewhere in Uganda, the Negotiator was being chased by a group of Kazim's soldiers. Liquid

was doing a good job of keeping ahead of them.

"I think we're losing them now." said Leon.

"Yeah, but the trick is keeping 'em off our ass!" said Harry.

"Hold on! Turn into that park there! I have an idea!" said Otacon.

The Kazim troops had fallen behind but were now making up lost ground.

"(Don't let these assholes get away!)" the commanding officer said. "(The general wants

their heads!).

As they entered a clearing in the park, they heard a loud boom and braked their jeeps in

shock.

Somewhere behind them was an explosion, knocking a lot of debris around.

"(Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?)" went one of the soldiers.

The Negotiator drove forward and they saw some smoke coming from the gun barrel.

Liquid's voice came over the loud speaker. "That was just a warning shot over your heads."

he said. "We advise you to turn back at once or we will be forced to unleash our full weapon

potential!".

The soldiers turned to each other and mumbled words. After about a minute and a half they

all nodded reluctantly.

"All right." said the C.O. "We will go, but don't think you will have an easy ride.".

The jeeps started to drive away.

Inside the Negotiator, Liquid turned the loud speaker off and smiled at Otacon who was

blowing another bubble of pink bubble gum. There was no shell in the Negotiator's cannon.

They had merely turned the volume of the loud speaker up full and Otacon had snapped his gum

into the microphone, creating the explosion sound.

"That was a crazy plan, but it worked." said Harry. "I see you know your G.I. Joe

history.".

"What about me with the grenade, making it look more realistic?" asked Liquid.

"Yeah, that was great. I'm glad you can throw one a great distance." said Leon.

"Well, then, I think we should get going." said Otacon.

Just then, the ground rumbled. Team Konami looked concerned.

"That can't be good." said Harry.

Otacon looke out the hatch and saw that the Negotiator was now surrounded by three fully

armed tanks from Kazim's army.

"Aw, crap!" he said. "And we used our last grenade for the trick!".

"What about the One-Time Overthruster?" asked Leon.

"I, uh, unplugged it to put my MP3 player in to charge." said Henry.

The others glared at him.

"It'll take an hour to recharge!" yelled Otacon.

"Sorry!" said Henry.

"You...ignorant son-of-a-bitch dumb bastard!" Leon yelled. "Jesus H. Christ, I've seen some

dumb bastards in my time but YOU claim first prize!".

"Well, whose fault is it we used up all the REAL shells?" Henry retorted.

A Kazim soldier pulled out a megaphone and yelled at them in English.

"Your little trick didn't fool us!" he said. "Now come out with your hands up!".

"Well, we're not totally helpless." sighed Liquid as he activated their distress beacon.

XXX

Meanwhile, the Bootlegger and the Miyagi had both stopped briefly in Nairobi so that Cal and

Belle could take over driving duties for the respective cars. As they were having a little

break, Andy and Randy had decided to take a little break in a small bar. Both of them had

been rather overdrinking the local beer.

"You know somethin', Randy?" Andy slurred. "You're my best friend...besides Belle that is."

"Yeah, I know." said Randy. "I bet Victor loves us too, I mean to pick both of us to be

racing superheroes.".

"I just gotta go to the bathroom." said Andy. "I'll be back in a minute."

Andy got up to go to the bathroom. As he headed around the corner leading to the restrooms,

he was suddenly hit by a hard kick in the stomach, and then someone gave him a karate chop

on the back of the neck. He fell unconscious. It was Tong Po who had hit him and he

laughed to himself.

Meanwhile, Randy was attempting to dance to some music playing on the jukebox, but felt a

little sting in the back of his neck. He reached to the back of his neck and pulled out a

tranquiliser dart.

"Aw, crap!" he said as he too fell unconscious.

Feng stepped forward, wearing the Total Anarchy mask with an evil smile on his face. Tong

Po joined him, carrying Andy over his shoulder.

"It would appear our foolish friends don't have their masks." Feng said. "I can't sense

their presences here.".

"Perfect!" said Tong Po. "Now we'll take both of them and make them suffer.".

"Indeed." said Feng. "Put them both in that coffin in the back of the Romero. And Tong

Po...DON'T be gentle.".

The two villains laughed.

Five minutes later...

The Bootlegger and the Miyagi both pulled up outside the bar so Ricky, Cal and Belle could

pick up their partners and continue the race.

As Cal went into the bar, Feng and Tong Po laughed to themselves as they started up the

Romero and drove off. As they did, Tong Po put his hand out the window and flipped the

bird.

Belle saw it and looked annoyed.

"I never knew undertakers could be such assholes." she said.

"Hell, Stone Cold could testify to that fact." said Ricky. "I heard that in the WWE one

time..."

Cal suddenly rushed out and joined them, looking very concerned,

"They're gone!" he said.

"What? Without their masks?" asked Belle. She then remembered the Romero and then glared

after it.

"Come on, guys!" she said as she rushed to the drivers' side of the Miyagi. "It's time for

us to come to the rescue!".

"You know where to go?" asked Ricky as he and Cal got back in the Bootlegger.

"Just keep your eyes on the Honda shaped blur, Ricky!" said Belle as she drove off at high

speed.

The Bootlegger performed a burnout and joined the chase.

XXX

In Zaire, the SLF had managed to find the Zenda and Cruger and Foyt were now relentlessly

chasing James and Heather.

"You wanna get hot?" yelled Cruger. "Then suck on this for a while."

He slammed the SLF into the side of the Zenda, but Heather kept going.

"I hope we lose this moron soon!" said Heather. "I heard about what that jet car thing can

do!".

"Don't worry. We won't surrender!" said James.

The Zenda reached the 200 mph mark and managed to get a good lead on the SLF.

Cruger laughed and put his foot down in the SLF and the thrusters on it let out flame as he

pushed the vehicle past the 150 mph mark and began to catch up.

As they gained ground on the Zenda, Foyt heard a strange clang and looked out her window.

She gasped as she saw that the SLF's body work was starting to fall off.

"Uh, Danny?" she said. "I think we have a problem!".

"Bullshit!" said Cruger. "Nothing's gonna stop us now! NOTHING!"

The engine on the SLF started to sputter and then the glass canopy covering the cockpit flew

off.

"What the...?" said Danny.

The SLF started to lose speed and eventually came to a halt. The futuristic vehicle

shuddered and then completely collapsed around the two villains.

"SHIT!" yelled Danny.

"You just couldn't wait, could you, dumb ass!" yelled Foyt.

The Bonsai then drove up and Team Banzai got out.

"Oh boy." said Perfect Tommy. "Looks like Seth will have to put more hours in to fixing the

SLF."

"Well at least we've found it." said Jersey.

All three of them pulled out their guns and aimed them at Danny and Foyt.

"Now then, I bet there are some people who'd love to have a word with you two." said

Buckaroo. "Can anyone say 'bargaining chips'?".

Meanwhile, in the Zenda, Heather took a look at their heads-up display and saw a light

flashing on it.

'That's a distress call in Uganda.' she said. 'It's from Team Konami.'.

'Yeah. I see that Snake's team are heading that way as well.' said James.

"Makes sense since his friend Otacon's on the Konami team. What do you say we give 'em a bit

of help?".

"No prob.". said James as he changed course for Uganda.

XXX

The Miyagi and the Bootlegger had caught up with the Romero and were now chasing it.

Tong Po was managing to keep ahead of the two vehicles, but suddenly he drove over a

broken bottle that somebody had left on the road and punctured his front tyre.

"You idiot!" yelled Feng as they went out of control. Tong Po tried to steer but ended

up driving straight into a palm tree. The impact caused the back door of the Romero to

open and the coffin in the bck to fall out. As it hit the ground, the lid popped open and

Andy and Randy both climbed out.

Andy was gasping for breath. "Next time, I get to be on top!" he growled at Randy.

"Sorry." said Randy sarcastically.

The Miyagi and the Bootlegger had both come to a halt and Belle and Ricky threw the Chaos

and Fury masks towards Andy and Randy just as Tong Po and Feng had gotten out of the

Romero. The two Captains pulled their masks on and turned to face the two villains.

Tong Po snarled and threw a Muay Thai kick at the palm tree, nearly knocking it down.

"Who's first?" he asked with a sadistic smile.

Fury and Chaos looked at each other and nodded. They both took running jumps towards

Tong Po and both kicked him square in the chest, knocking him backwards. He flew towards

Feng, who was struggling to get the Total Anarchy mask on. Tong Po xcrashed right into

him and knocked him unconscious. Tong Po was knocked unconscious himself.

"Well done, good citizens." said Chaos. "We are grateful you came to our aid.".

"Well maybe this'll teach you to not let your guard down, huh Captains?" said Belle.

"Fear not. We shall not get careless again." said Fury.

"What should we do with these guys?" asked Cal as he looked at the unconscious Feng and

Tong Po.

Ricky smirked to himself. "I think I have just the thing in mind.".

A few minutes later...

The Bootlegger and the Miyagi were both off on their was looking a bit worried.

"You DO realise that when those guys find out, they'll kill you, right Ricky?" he said.

"Don't worry. I'll probably die laughing long before that." Ricky chuckled.

XXX

The Zenda had rendezvoused with the Fairview in Masaka and Team Stealth and Team Silent Hill

were keeping their eyes on a small jailhouse.

"That's where they're keeping Otacon and the others." said Snake as he watched with his

binoculars.

"Just two guards. AND they're both asleep." commented James.

"Doesn't mean there are no other soldiers." remarked Ethan. "Any sign of them?".

"Yeah. They're all over in that bar over there, celebrating their 'victory'." said Sam.

"We'll have to keep them busy while we bust Otacon and the others out." said Heather. "I

think I can help in that area.".

"How so?" asked James.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Scott. "The soldier boys at the bar are all drunk and horny. I

think that will distract them.".

"OKay, but we need a backup plan." said Ethan.

"Got it here." said Sam as he pulled out an AA-12 shotgun. Scott pulled out another one.

"These things fire 300 rounds per minute, AND are very loud." Sam said. "Any of Kazim's guys

start some shit, we let 'em have it!".

"But.." James began.

"Don't worry." scott reassured. "Sam's is the only one with live ammo. And he intends to use

it to take out their vehicles. Mine shoots tranq darts, but it's still very loud. With a

bunch of half-drunk soldiers hearing a hell of a lot of battle noise, tell me who's thinking

straight."

"Amen, brother." said Sam.

"In that case, I'll help you out as well." said Snake as he pulled out his silenced tranq

pistol.

"Then James and I will break the guys out." said Ethan.

"Okay, let's go!" said James.

XXX

On the road to Masaka, the Brooklyn was driving around the speed limit. As Bugs drove the

old Mustang down the road, he noticed a speed trap cop and brought the car to a halt. The

cop went over to his window, looking confused.

"What are you stopping for?" the cop asked. "You weren't breaking any law.".

"Just wonderin' what you're lookin'for, Sarge." said Bugs.

"I'm looking for speeders." the cop said.

"What's a speeder?" Daffy asked mischeviously.

The cop smiled a bit at Team Looney Toons' apparent naivete.

"A speeder is a guy who goes like this." he said and then made a zooming engine roar sound.

"Oh, like this?" said Bugs. He then made a 'pwt, pwt, pwt' sound, accidentally getting a

little spittle on the cops' uniform.

"No, like this." said the cop as he repeated the 'roaring engine' sound.

"OH! I get it!" said Daffy, and then he repeated the 'pwt, pwt, pwt' sound and added a

'cuckoo' noise at the end.

The cop was getting annoyed.

"I didn't say.." he began and then made the 'pwt, pwt, pwt, cuckoo' noise, "I said...", then

he made the roaring engine noise, "And if you go...", he made the 'pwt, pwt, pwt, cuckoo'

noise again, '...one more time, I'll give you a ticket! Got it?".

"so, I say, so y'all don't want us to go.." began Foghorn...and then HE made the 'pwt, pwt,

pwt, cuckoo' noise.

"That's right." said the cop, failing to realise what had just happened.

"Okay, well good luck rounding up the speeders, Sarge." said Bugs as he started the Brooklyn

up again. He then took off at high speed.

"HEY!" the cop yelled.

As the Brooklyn sped off, Bugs said "There's nothing like a highly intellectual

discussion."

XXX

Back in Masaka, the Kazim soldiers in the bar were being 'entertained' by Heather, in a

very skimpy outfit, singing a sultry version of Elvis Presley's 'Love Me Tender'. A lot

of them were interjecting wolf whistles into the performance.

Meanwhile, at the jailhouse, Ethan had knocked out the two guards on the front porch,

while James had driven the Zenda around the back.

James went up to the barred window of the cell at the back of the building which Otacon

and the others were being held in.

He let out a little whistle.

Liquid and Henry came to the window.

"Hey, you guys." James whispered. "We're here to get you out.".

"What about Kazim's guys?" Henry whispered back.

"Don't worry. They've been taken care of." whispered Ethan as he joined James.

"Here. Tie this around the bars." whispered James as he gave Liquid one end of a piece of

rope.

"I hope this will work." Liquid replied.

"No problem." James winked as he and Ethan both ran for the Zenda. The other end of the

rope was tied to its'back bumper. Ethan and James got inside and James started it up.

"Okay, Here we go!" said James as he gunned the engine and drove forward. The rope was

pulled taut and a wrenching sound was heard from the jailhouse in addition to the sound

of breaking wood.

In the bar, some of the soldiers had heard the noise and went to investigate. Snake,

hiding in the bushes on the left side, quickly took them out with his tranq gun.

The roaring of the Zenda's engine became louder as did the noise as he attempted to pull

the bars off the window.

Suddenly, without warning, the jailhouse was lifted off its' foundations and the Zenda

took off...pulling the entire building along behind it.

"I don't think that was supposedv to happen." said Ethan.

"I guess they don't build jailhouses like they use to." said James.

By now, all of the soldiers had been attracted by the noise and ran outside the bar.

"Fire in the hole!" yelled Sam from a treetop as he opened fire on their vehicles with

his shotgun, blowing a lot of them sky high and scaring the soldiers witless. Scott

fired for the soldiers themselves, knocking many more of them out with his tranq darts.

Within a few minutes, the soldiers had all been knocked out and their vehicles disabled.

"Clear!" yelled Snake.

"Clear!" replied Scott.

"Clear!" said Sam as all three came out of their hiding places and joined each other.

Heather came out of the bar and joined them.

"Damn, those guns are loud!" she said.

"Now where are the others?" asked Snake.

Outside the town, the Zenda had finally stopped and stopped dragging the jailhouse behind

it. Ethan and James had gone around to the two unconscious guards who were still on the

front porch while the building was being pulled and searched their pockets. James looked embarrassed when Ethan did indeed find a set of keys in one of their

pockets.

"Have you ever heard of this wonderful thing called 'subtlety'?" Ethan asked

sarcastically as he went to release Team Konami.

The Fairview drove up, accompanied by the Negotiator, which Scott and Sam were driving.

Otacon and the others ran out of the jailhouse as they were released and Scott and Sam

approached them and handed them the keys to the Negotiator.

"Thanks, guys." said Leon. "I could have done without that whole Looney Toons thing

though.".

"Well, you're out, aren't you?" asked James.

"Right! Let's go!" said Snake as the teams returned to their vehicles.

XXX

"We have some music for you all to enjoy, as the racers race through the African jungle." Kevin said. "So here now, playing Baltimora's 'Tarzan Boy' is 16 Buttons of Justice and DVDA."

As the band starts up the song, the Sentinel XS and the Landstalker Mk II raced through the jungles of Africa. While being chased by Kazim's troops and the Saxon.

"How did William get that semi truck rig?" Tim asked himself. "Great, we have to outrin the souped up rig from Hell and a bunch of Mali soldiers that have no soul! Can this race get any worse!"

**Song: "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora**

"Catch them! I want them alive!" William shouted into his radio to Kazim's soldiers. They all acknowledged the drug king's orders and pulled ahead of the Saxon.

"What did we ever do to them that made them chase us!" Giovanni asked.

"Oh nothing..." Ash said. "But General Kazim is an asshole."

Nearby the Rattler is parked with Arbitor and Chief aiming their sniper rifles at the jeeps and tanks from their sniper posts in the trees.

"Let's get them out of this mess." Arbitor said. "So we can join Adam and the others in Mali."

"On it..." Chief said, firing his rifle first. The round punctures the engine of a jeep. Causing it to flip over and land on it's roof. Luckily the soldier at the gun turret ducked back into the jeep as it was hit. Arbitor fired next and took out another jeep. Down below William, Cruger and Janice knew someone was sniping them in the trees.

"Son of a bitch!" William said. "The Cannonballers got snipers in the trees!"

"That was only two jeeps that went down!" Cruger said. "There is only two snipers above us! I say we pull out before those two take us all out!"

"I agree!" Janice said.

"They're retreating." Tim said as he saw them leave in the rearview mirror." Whoever was shooting at them must've did the trick."

"Now let's get them to Mali." Arbitor said. "Adam will need all of the hep he can get to reclaim th eprize money."

XXX

In Gaborona, Botswana, the Boltus had come up to a traffic light and stopped. As Cloud

tapped his hand impatiently on the steering wheel, Vincent suddenly sensed that something

was wrong.

He looked behind them and saw trouble approaching.

Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz were roaring towards them in a green 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88

callede the Rosalita.

"Cloud, GO! GO! GO!" he yelled.

Cloud had noticed the three villains in the rearview asnd quickly peeled out, scraping

past some of the traffic in front of them. People honked their horns angrily as the

Boltus and the Rosalita got involved in a chase.

Kadaj aimed a gun out of his side of the Rosalita and opened fire on the Boltus.

"Hang on! I've got this!" said Barret as hwe climbed out into the bed of the Boltus and

opened fire on the Rosalita with his gun arm.

"Goddamn it!" yelled Loz as he tried to avoid Barret's fire.

"Hold the wheel steady so we can shoot!" yelled Yazoo as he joined Kadaj in shooting at

the Boltus.

The Rosalita gained some ground on the Boltus.

"Oh no you don't!" said Cloud as he stepped on the brakes. The Rosalita overtook the

Boltus and Cloud then floored the accelerator. The Boltus was now chasing the Rosalita.

Kadaj and Yazoo turned around to try and shoot at Team AVALANCHE who were now behind

them.

"Yuffie, you ready?" asked Tifa as she absorbed a Gravity materia into her skin.

"You bet!" said Yuffie as she did the same.

Both girls pointed their hands towards Kadaj and Yazoo's gun hands.

"Demi3!" they both yelled as thry cast their most powerful gravity spells.

Kadaj and Yazoo suddenly felt their hands being weighed down and they dropped their guns

as a result.

Loz grunted in anger and drove up the entrace ramp of a multi-storey car park. The Boltus

followed them as they continued to drive farther up the levels.

As the Boltus reached the top storey, the Rosalita had turned around to face it.

"Time to play chicken by the look of things." said Cloud. "We need a plan.".

"Taken care of." said Vincent as he took out another materia orb and absorbed it.

Loz revved the engine of the Rosalita menacingly and Cloud did the same with the Boltus.

Both vehicles took off from their starting points and drove towards each other at full

speed.

Loz laughed sadistically as he prepared to ram the Boltus head on.

Vincent then reached out his hand, pointing at Loz.

"Sleepel!" he yelled.

The sleep spell immediatey came over Loz and he nodded off at the wheel... with his foot

still to the floor.

"YOU IDIOT!" Kadaj and Yazoo both yelled as the Rosalita went out of control. The Boltus

swerved around it as it drove towards the edge of the roof.

Kadaj grabbed Loz as he and Yazoo dived out of the Rosalita, seconds before it went off

the edge of the roof and fell to its'destruction on the ground eight stories elow them.

Cloud happily honked the Boltus' horn, waved a salute out the window and drove off.

Kadaj and Yazoo both glared at the still sleeping Loz.

"Would you miss him if I killed him?" asked Yazoo.

"Not in the least." replied Kadaj. "But we have bigger fish to fry. Let's meet up with

the others."

"How?" asked Yazoo.

"Simple. We stick our thumbs out and hope." Kadaj replied.

XXX

Back in Kenya, Hunter and Carson walked into a small town police station with some money

ready. Carson approached the desk sergeant.

"Are you here for those two guys with the hearse we picked up yesterday?" the sergeant

asked.

"That's right." said Carson. "We have their bail money here.".

"Okay. I'll take you to them." sad the officer as he got his keys out and lead the two to

the cells.

"We heard you say it was good luck thatn you got to them first." Hunter commented.

"Indeed it was." said the officer as they approached the cells. "Some people would take

great offence to the statement they were making.".

"What statement?" asked Carson as they entered the cell area. The two villains then got

a look at Tong Po and Feng in the cell in front of them and tried hard to suppress their

chuckling.

Tong Po and Feng had both been dressed in hot pink T-shirts and hot pants, their hair had

been styled up in a girly way and both men had make up and mascara smeared on their

faces. Feng's T-shirt was adorned with the logo 'We're Here, we're Queer, Get used to

it!'.

"Aw shut up and get us out of here, you morons!" yelled Tong Po.

"Oooh! Someone missed their Mocha Choco Latte today!" Carson said sarcasticaly in a girly

way.

XXX

The Vertigo pulled into a gas station in Mali. Adam made sure that the coast was clear before getting out and pumping gas into the car. He made sure the clerk inside wasn't looking and turned to Eve, who got out and generated a snowball. Where she threw it into the sky, and archeologist Dirk Pitt, his partner in crime Al Giordio and finally World Health Organization doctor Eva Rojas MD pulled into the gas station. Dirk motioned for the restrooms and Adam told Eve to watch the car. The two men went into the men's room. While the clerk called General Kazim.

"You're the guy who wants to take down Tri Cell and General Kazim?" Dirk asked as he urinated in the urinal. Adam didn't have to go and only pretended to take a leak. "Alright here is what is going on. The Umbrella Corporation is no more. Their now former employess are a apart of Tri Cell, a new corporation that is taking up Umbrella's old mission of making biological weapons. Now they have some pretty nasty stuff, and one of them is a disease called Las Plagas."

"I'm familiar with Plagas Dirk." Adam said. "I was briefed on it from Leon Kennedy himself, and it's a bitch to deal with."

"It gets even worse, Umbrella once had a laboratory underneath some ruins in the African savanah, this facility was responsible for their very first weapon, created from flowers that were grown below the ground. Tri Cell learned about it and created a new virus called Uroboros. Even worse than Plagas, which Kazim is using as his ace in the hole in case you best him.

Back outside Eva was telling Eve about the condition of Mali. Which wasn't very good.

"Kazim is using Las Plagas on his own people and even soldiers who volunteer." Eva told Eve. They noticed several jeeps pull into the gas station. "Uh oh..."

The soldiers who got out of the jeeps walked towards the two women and man. With their AK-47s aimed at their heads. Eve quickly generates a icicle spear and hurls it at the soldiers, who in turn ducked and gave Eve time to get Al and Eva away from the gas station. Eve quickly calls Adam on her cellphone and notify him of the situation.

The clerk left the store, trying to get away from the impending explosion that is sure to occur in about a minute. Until one of Kazim's troops grabs him in a headlock and injects a black liquid into him. Within seconds black worm like creatures engulf both men and glowing orange pods grow from their bodies.

Adam and Dirk quickly run out of the bathroom to join in on the fire fight between Kazim's troops and Eve. Adam hurls fireballs at their jeeps, avoiding the gas pumps. However Kazim's troops retreat when they see the now ten foot tall creature stalking towards them. Adam notices it too, and asks Dirk if that is Uroboros.

"Is that...?"

"Yes it is. It's Uroboros. And it's weakness is fire."

"Tell Eve to get out of here immediately, and you leave too." Adam said as he walked towards the creature. "I'll handle this."

Dirk did as he was told, and when both Dirk's team and Eve were clear from the explosion that was going to take place. Adam generated fire all over his body.

XXX

Eve and Dirk stopped their vehicles and watched the gas station from the safe distance allowed. They saw the entire place go up in a flaming explosion, complete with a mushroom cloud. Then they saw a fiery figure fly towards them. It is Adam, who used his pyrokinesis to destroy the Uroboros monster and fly away from the burning gas station.

"THAT was fun!" he declared when he landed with a smile. Then he handed Dirk a slip of paper. "Here... That's the phone number for the field commander of the UN Peacekeeping Forces in Iran. Tell him that they're needed in Mali and immediately."

"Will do... And we'll see you in the capitol city." Dirk then drove away to Kazim's palace for the final showdown.

XXX

All five Blood Gulch teams waited for the others to arrive, as they were the first to arrive in Mali for the showdown.

"They're late!" Sarge said. "We need to get this show on the road soon or we'll miss the opportunity for a surprise attack."

Soon the Vertigo, Rattler, Sentinel XS and Landstalker Mk II pulled up to the Bloodgulch crew. With the vehicles respective passengers climing out of them.

"About time!" Grif said. "What happened?"

"We had a little problem at the gas station." Adam said. "Problem solved and there is no more gas station."

"Nice..." Grif looked and saw the Eiswolf and Atlus pull up.

"You here to join the raid?" Tucker asked the new arrivals.

"You bet your sweet ass we are!" Shinn said. "And we brought some 'help'."

The Destiny, Infinite Justice, Impulse and Strike Freedom Gundams landed onto the ground. Their parachutes blow away into the wind.

"We're going to kick some serious ass in Mali." Caboose said.

XXX

Adam led the Cannonballers into the palace, but found security to be a bit lacking.

"Where is everybody?" Chief asked. "This place is a ghost town."

"That's because we had other plans for the security." Lilith walks out with Kazim by her side. "Oh how I do love a nice family reunion. Too bad there are too many unwelcome guests here. I must take care of you all right now..."

She takes a syringe with Uroboros injects herself with it. Soon she's overcome with the effects of the uncontrolable virus, Kazim tries to back away and flee, but gets caught up in the transformation of Lilith. Soon both are combined into one horrific monster.

"Stand back everyone." Adam said. He generates a few fireballs to hurl at the monster. "I'll handle..."

He's cut off as several streams of beam energy slam into the monster from the sky. Once the chaos is over with, the Cannonballers stare at the charred remains of the monster, before looking upward into the sky and seeing the Force Impulse Gundam.

"What was that thing?" Lunamaria asked.

"Burnt BOWH." Shinn replied.

"BOWH?"

"Bio Organic Weapon from Hell."

"Ohhhhh."

Back on the ground the Cannonballers are complaining on how anti-climatiic this whole invasion was, but Adam reminds them all they still have to retrieve the prize money. So they search all over the palace for it. Adam and Eve find it inside a safe in Kazim's office. Adam used his powers to open the safe and inside was a metal briefcase. Eve grabs it and opens it, only to find...

"Monopoly money?"

Indeed it is play money from the Monopoly board game. The real prize money must be located somewhere else.

"Team Vercetti told us what their prisoner told them. That the money was right here in Mali." Adam said. "They were deceived."

XXX

"Well Cannonballers... I regret to inform you all that the prize money is still missing." Kevin said. "But there is some good news. Mr. Yates has just made an announcement that there is three hundred and fifty million for second place, while third place gets three hundred million. Not only that but Mr. Yates already confided in us on the location of said prize money for all three places. Cannonballers listen up, the prize money is actually believed to be in the small town of Eureka, Oregon. The same hometown that Team Eureka comes from. Now they've called in and told us to tell all of you Cannonballers, to Inside the MX2000, Carter and Henry watched the announcment to only the Cannonballers, over the internet.

"So we should wait for them to arrive to begin planning?" Carter asked.

"Yes we should." Henry said. He saw the Mitsumi 1000R and the Quasar pull up behind them.

"We just heard the announcement and chose to race over here." Eva said.

"How did you know to come here so fast?" Henry asked.

"(We were ahead of the teams and got horribly lost.)" Ryotaro said. "(Plus we had a little drag race in the air from Africa to the United States.)"

"Doesn't matter. It's great to see you guys here so early. The others are still in the Atlantic Ocean and will join us soon. Until then we can all rest in town and wait for the others. I'll show you around."

XXX

"Well that is it for the continent of Africa race fans." Kevin said. "If the Cannonballers are able to reclaim the prize money, then we can have a end to this race, and three winners to boot. So until next time fans, and here now is a special guest to the Cannonball Band. Please welcome the one, the only... Bon Jovi!"

Bon Jovi begins playing one of their songs to say farewell to Africa, and to wish the Cannonballers good luck in Eureka.

**Song: "Never Say Die" by Bon Jovi**

After the song ends, Kevin and Olivia shake the band members hands. Then Kevin says "Bon Jovi everybody! What an honor to have them make a surprise visit! The Cannonballers are going to get their prize money back! We'll see you when the Cannonballers cross that finish line outside in Liberty City! Good night!"

**Author's Comment: After two and half years it's finally come down to this... One last chapter to go, and it will be epic. Well as epic as I can get it. See you in the final chapter readers. Enjoy this chapter, and I can't wait till this story is finally over.**


	14. Eureka!

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

**Eureka, Oregon: Eureka!**

"I seriously doubt that this plan is going to work." Bam said, everybody was at their cars, waiting for the word to strike. "The security systems in Global Dynamics have already been changed to ensure we don't get in. How can we possible get inside there and get back our money?"

"It'll have to do..." Henry said. "There is no other options, but to sneak in under through the panic room for GD's CEO and brass. Once the infiltration team is inside. They'll get into the main computer room and deactivate the security systems."

"Who's going inside there?"

"Team Konami and Team Stealth... You're on the attack team when the systems are down."

Inside Global Dynamics, both Snake siblings forced open the door to the computer room. To allow Otacon access to the room and computers.

"Hurry up Otacon. We have to get out of here before security takes notice of their downed systems."

"I just got into the system..." Otacon said. "And I'm done!"

XXX

Mr. Bedlam and the others have gathered in the main lobby of GD, where they were celebrating their victory over the Cannonballers. Bedlam had Tong and Feng count the money to see if all one-fifty billion dollars were there.

"What's the total?"

"It's all here. Every last one hundred dollar bill is here." Feng said.

"Excellent!" Bedlam declared and just then the power went out. "What is going on? Guards search the computer rooms! Someone just shut down all systems!"

XXX

"Otacon, you were supposed to shut off the security systems! Not every system in the building!" Leon scolded the anime nerd for turning off everything in the entire building.

"I'm sorry!" Otacon replied. "Everything was connected! If I turned off all security systems in place, I had to turn off everything else as well! The whole building must've been set up that way!"

"Who cares?" Solid dialed a number on his cell. "Let's just call in the cavalry and get into the fight!"

XXX

Outside... Nicholas Angel received Solid's call. Once he hung up, he turned to the Cannonballers.

"It's a go... All systems were shut down to allow us access to the front door of GD."

Deputy Lupo runs up to Carter and whispers. "Carter, I just got off the phone with General Mansfield. He's sending in troops to deal with the situation at GD. He told me that he doesn't want any Cannonballers involved with Department of Defense business."

"Too late Jo." Carter said. "We're beginning the raid right now. Now go tell Mansfield that us Cannonballers will handle it, besides it's our money in their possession anyway."

XXX

Back in Liberty City's Cannonball HQ, Kevin was drinking a cup of coffee, when Nathan Explosion walks up to him.

"Hey Kevin, uh I've just been told that the Cannonballers are beginning their raid in Eureka. And I was wondering if they would want some music."

"Great idea Nathan!" Kevin said. "Can you do the music for them?"

"You got it." Nathan joins his band on stage. "This is for you Cannonballers trying to reclaim the prize money in Eureka! Kick some ass for us!"

Dethklok begins as back in Eureka, Team DATS DNA Digivolve their Digimon to their highest forms, as well as initiate the Digimons Burst Mode.

**Song: "Murmaider" by Dethklok**

Team Hogwarts and Draco's group relunctantly teamed up to fight off Freddy and the other horror movie killers.

"Blimy!" Ron said. "These guys are going to give nightmares for a week!"

"I hope so..." Freddy said. "I need the souls."

"I don't think so!"

Team Jungle Fury was joined by their mentor/Wolf Ranger and their friend Dominic/Rhino Ranger. They worked with their Japanese Sentai counterparts, the Gekirangers. The Gekirangers had tranformed into their Super Forms in order to tell the difference between the two teams.

Cruger and Janice had somehow escaped Team Banzai's capture in Africa. Thanks to Janice's training in the military. They're now running into one of the laboratory rooms in Section 3. When they ran into the Mythbusters. Who had several two liter bottles of Diet Coke on a ramp.

"Fire one!" Adam shouts, as Grant put Mentos inside of one bottle and seals it.

"What are you...?" Cruger then saw what was being planned, when the bottle with the Mentos fired off the ramp and flew at the two. Cruger ducks, but the bottle hits a wall and knocks Janice unconscious.

"Fire two!" and the process was repeated, this time Cruger was knocked out like a light. William ran in when he heard the commotion.

"What the bloody hell is going on...?"

"Fire three!" William was a bit late to react, before the bottle flew right into this groin. "Fire four!"

The fourth bottle slammed into his temple, knocking him out instantly.

Team Deception ran into a shirtless Tong Po. Who was challenging them to a fight to the death.

"I've killed countless men and women fighters in a fight to the death. Now... Who wants some?"

Team Deception is too afraid to challenge him to a one on one fight. Then a shirtless Marco kicks down the door.

"Oh I accept your challenge amigo!" he said.

"Oh you want some?" Tong asked.

"Come get a taste of Vitamin M!" Marco and Tong engage in a one sided fight, with Tong being on the receiving end.

"Oh that guy was all talk." Shang said.

Team ECW was facing off against Carson and her group. When Nemesis, Austin and John rushed in and gave the bad guys their signature finishing moves. Well for Nemesis it was the Undertaker's tombstone piledriver.

"Thanks guys!" Punk said.

"Don't mention it." Austin said.

Team Capcom and Team Alchemist teamed up to deal with the Tengas, who were easily defeated by the alchemists and video game characters.

"All too easy, right brother?" Al said.

"All too easy Al." Ed agreed.

Bedlam took the distraction of the Cannonballers fighting to run away with the prize money. However he was caught sneaking away by Master Yo.

"You unhand that money right now!" Yo said. The the three of them used their woofoo to capture Bedlam, but he threw the case to Total Anarchy who ran up and caught the briefcase.

"Sayanora suckers!" Anarchy shouted before running to a 2008 Ford Mustang.

"Hey he's getting away!" Yin shouted. Captains Chaos and Fury heard Yin and raced out of GD and climbed into the Bootlegger. They gave chase to Anarchy's Mustang.

"Damn them!" Anarchy said to himself.

"How about some music?" Fury asked Chaos before putting a CD into the stereo.

**Song: "Have A Nice Day" by Bon Jovi**

The Mustang swerved around oncoming cars and even outran local police. As the Bootlegger gave chase.

"Get ahead of him Chaos!" Fury said. "We can knock him off the road with a PIT manuver!"

"You got it!" Chaos hit the nitrous boosters and caught up with the Mustang. Then the Bootlegger rammed into the side of the Mustang, knocking it off the road and causing it to flip over onto it's roof.

"Well let's get the money and take it back to town."

XXX

A helicopter lands on GD's helipad, and Brock Yates gets out with J.J. And Victor. Carter held the briefcase with the money.

"Mr. Yates..." he said. "On behalf of the Cannonballers, we present to you the prize money for the sixth running of the Cannonball Run."

The briefcase was handed over to Brock, and he opens it to double check to see if the money was all there and it was.

"Thank you Sheriff Carter." Brock said. Then he produces a series of cards and gives them to the police Draco and his group, Nicholas and Danny, and finally Dog and his group. "These cards are you guys. These are cards that were extra and I'm giving them to you. So you may have a chance of winning the prize money."

Dog spoke up for the police. "I think I speak for everyone, when I say thank you Mr. Yates."

"Now then everybody get back to your vehicles and let's finish this race!" Mr. Yates declared as the Cannonballers raced back to their vehicles and got back onto the road. Draco and his group raced past the Nelson

"You're not going to win Potter!" Draco declares.

"Not in this lifetime Malfoy!" Harry declares.

XXX

As the Cannonballers made their way at high speeds through the streets of Liberty City, the

Bloodhound Gang and DVDA took the stage and started to provide a perfect song for such a

mad dash.

**SONG: 'Road Racin' by Riot**

The Vegas and the Newman were both running neck and neck.

"No way, Homer!" Peter yelled. "NO WAY you're gonna beat me!"

"Show me what you got, Peter!" Homer yelled back.

Both vehicles reached their maximum speed and swerved around the Cheetah 2, cutting out

in front of it. Ned angrily honked his horn.

Elsewhere...

The Glendale had decided to take a short cut by driving through some back alleys. But suddenly, from another alley, the Baron, with Regis in the drivers' seat, got n front of them and blocked their way.

"ASSHOLES!" yelled Wuncler.

"Swivel on it, dick!" said Regis as he flipped the bird.

"Regis, if we're delaying them here, what's to stop someone else BEATING US TO THE FINISH

LINE?" yelled Joe.

"Crap!" Regis yelled as he quickly reversed and drove off, with the Glendale following.

"If we lose, I'm gonna kick your ass, Regis!" Marcus yelled.

Elsewhere...

The Thoroughbred, the Camper A and the Patriot were all trying to outdistance each other as

they drove through Algonquin.

In the Patriot, Roger suddenly squirted out his green goo covering everyone and splattering the

windshield. Stan swerved wildly and finally brought the vehicle to a halt.

"See ya, suckers!" Sam yelled.

"In about a hundred years!" Darnell added.

"Damn it, Roger!" Stan yelled. "I told you time and time again to get that problem of yours looked at! Damn

hardhead!"

Elsewhere...

Ghost Rider was cutting through some tough rush hour traffic incredibly fast and the La Fuerza

was following him.

"He's being a big help, but as soon as we get a chance, we get past him!" said Dr. Evil

"I hope he won't get mad about that." said Natalie.

Elsewhere...

The Rumpo is trying as best as it can to outrun Dog Chapman and his truck.

"Floor it Gob!" Michael said. "That damn Bounty Hunter is still behind us!"

"I'm trying!" Gob replied. "This is not like magic!"

The San Marino swerves and passes both cars.

The Cannonballers reached Cannonball HQ, where the time clock to finish the race was in plain view of everyone. Everybody scrambled out of their vehicles, and even tried to ensure they would get to clock out first. However in the melee, only one person managed to clock out, and win the grand prize money...

XXX

Team Degrassi sat at their table at the post race party in HQ's Party Hall. As the Cannonball Band was performing their last songs of the Cannonball.

"So none of us was the one who slid their card througfh first." Paige said. "Then who was it?"

"You could've used your powers to teleport and win us the Cannonball Hiro." House said.

"It's hard to teleport when you have a fat Irish man sitting on you!" Hiro said.

Dark Samus doesn't say anything, but glares at her teammates, who are crying like little babies at their failure to win.

"Shigeru is not going to like this!" Meta Knight cried.

Jimmy and Greg sat at the bar in a somber mood, as they drank their beers. It's clear they didn't win either. Neither did Team Sooga and Team Evil Ninjas. As both teams sat at the same table drinking glasses of juice depressed. They look up at the

Brock takes the stage and quiets down the band. He grabs a mcirophone to speak.

"We're ready to present the prize money to our top three finishers." Brock pulls out a envelop and opens it to read off the names. "It was a very close race as I could tell from the chaos you all created in that melee at the time clock. But don't be depressed, there is always next year and you gave it your all, so be proud in that fact."

**Third Place: Team Fury**

Ricky walked up to the stage and received the check for three hundred million dollars. He receives a applause from the others though, despite the fact they lost.

**Second Place: Team Chaos**

Captain Chaos walked on stage and accepted his check for second place. He receives a even greater applause before sitting back down.

"Now it's time to announce the first place winners!" Brock said. "This team has been in the Cannonball Run World Tour, since it first began. They've been giving it their all to win and the finally have won the Cannonball. Give a big hand for..."

**First Place and Cannonball Run Champions: Team Girl Power**

Lara Croft walked in stage to receive the trophy and check for four hundred million dollars. She and her team all received a standing ovation for finally winning the Cannonball Run. Lara sits down as Reel Big Fish comes on stage.

"Now time for the last song of the evening. Then we can officially say this year's Cannonball Run is over. So here now is Reel Big Fish to close out the Cannonball."

"Thank you Mr. Yates. The final song this evening is a song from a Christian ska band, and one of the best Christian ska bands to ever play. Here is Five Iron Frenzy's 'Cannonball'."

**Song: "Cannonball" by Five Iron Frenzy**

The Cannonballers all stand up and dance to the song, then scene changes to a Mazda RX-7 speeding on a strech of desert highway. The RX-7 then goes fast enough to break the sound barrier, which it does and continues racing down the lone highway, as scene fades to black and the credits roll.

**Author's Comment: And that my friends is how a Cannonball Run story ends. I'd like to thank Turbo Man for help with the later chapters of this story. Without him it would've taken four years to get this story done. I'm glad he helped me with writing and now it's up to him and Bkelly95 to get CR7 faster than it took for me to finish this story. Don't worry, I'm working on a reboot to the entire World Tour series. So don't think I'm just sitting by and waiting for CR7 to complete it's run. Oh no, I'm going to continue to tide you Cannonball Run fans over till it's time for me to get CR8 on the road. So expect Cannonball Run International to begin in the next day or two. It's going to be great to continue with writing a Cannonball Run story. So see you then, but not beforehand.**


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